


Trust Me

by alnima



Series: Trust Me [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Baby Niall, Daddy Zayn, Fluff and Angst, Kid Fic, M/M, Side Lilo - Freeform, Strangers to Lovers, warnings at the beginning of each chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 06:25:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 78,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alnima/pseuds/alnima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn has trouble trusting Harry to catch him when he falls, but Harry is determined to be there no matter what it takes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer: I don't know or own anyone. This work is my own and it is not featured on any other site, nor does anyone have my permission to repost it in its entirety. Recs are fine, links are fine, but copying and pasting is not fine. Thank you!!!**

Zayn is in a rush to get breakfast done as fast as possible. He’s woken up late and is cutting it close to when he needs to leave for his shift at the diner. He has an hour to feed Niall, get him ready, and drop him off at daycare before he can make it to work. Luckily for him, Niall is a baby that loves mornings and always eats his food no matter you place in front of him, making his morning just a little bit easier. 

Zayn’s races around their small apartment, tripping over the leg of his pants as he tries to shimmy inside of them while trying to avoid stepping on Niall’s toys that are scattered across the floor in a messy clutter. He really needs to clean, but life is getting the best of him, and he’s finding that he doesn’t have much time for anything.

He grabs his work shirt and throws it on as he makes his way into Niall’s bedroom, and he finds his son lying in his crib playing with his stuffed bear. Niall had gotten the bear on his first birthday and was too young to fully understand how to properly name a stuffed animal, so the bear was simply called, Bear.

Niall’s eyes light up at the sight of his father, and he begins to wiggle his arms around, making grabby hands to show he insists Zayn picks him up. “Baba,” Niall shouts with happiness, his voice high.

“Morning, baby, you sleep okay?” Zayn asks, as he reaches inside and picks Niall up. He brings him over towards the changing table, and carefully unbuttons the light green onesie that Niall wore to bed. He listens to Niall babble on about what dreamt that night, or whatever story he's decided to make up. Zayn has never gotten used to mornings, and even after a year and a half with Niall, he doesn’t understand how he had gotten a son so different from him. He continues listening to Niall’s stories as he tosses the dirty diaper in the bin and dresses Niall in a new, clean one.

He buttons the onesie back up and carries Niall towards the kitchen. He sets him down in his high chair and begins mashing up bananas and filling a small bowl with some yogurt.

He’s in the middle of feeding Niall, who is humming happily as he greedily takes in as much as possible, when Zayn’s phone rings. He glances down at the screen and sees Louis name flashing across it.

“Hey Lou, what’s up?”

Louis is Zayn’s best friend, and also his only friend throughout his entire life, really. He was also the only person who didn’t abandon him when Niall’s mother had never returned from her vacation, thus abandoning Niall and leaving Zayn a single father.

“How is my favorite nephew? Am I going to be seeing him soon?”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “He’s eating, what do you want? I’m running late and I still need to get him dressed and to daycare as soon as possible.”

“Baba, more, more,” Niall chants, as he bangs his chubby fists against his high chair tray. He has his mouth open to show Zayn he wants more food. Zayn complies and feeds him another spoonful of bananas - Niall's capable of feeding himself, but he either goes too fast or too slow, and this morning he doesn't want to deal with it - while he listens to Louis talk into the phone about his date with Liam the night before.

When he gets Louis off the phone, after saying how he’d see him at work and they should really save some topics for conversation for their shift, he gets Niall dressed in his favorite blue polo and white pants with his little white sneakers that Niall had thrown a fit about getting.

~~

He makes it into work only ten minutes late and breathes a sigh of relief at seeing that his boss hasn’t even made it into work yet and would never notice, not like he'd ever care. He slips on his apron and settles in behind the counter.

Zayn works as a cashier for a small “hole in the wall” diner that serves sloppy American food - that seems to be a big hit since they were always busy. It wasn't the position he had starting out, he had tried to work as a waiter, but he was unable to carry a tray without dropping it, and knowing that he had a son to take care of, his boss took pity on him and created the job of standing behind the counter and helping people pay for their food, and passing the cooked food from the back to the waiters. He also works with Louis, who somehow landed himself the position of a cook, and they spend most of their shift talking and trading jokes between the small opening in the wall where the food is pushed through. 

It isn’t much of a job, but ever since having Niall, he has been forced to put his art career on the back burner for a job that actually paid. He still manages to do a few painting here and there, and while most of them sell, he lacks the time he used to have and could never create enough work his own exhibition at a gallery space.

“Mate, you’re late,” Louis says, as he pokes his head through the hole and smiles brightly at Zayn.

“Yeah, I know. I woke up later than normal and took forever to walk Niall to daycare. He’s going through a phase where he’s not sure if he wants to be held or walk next to me. I spent half the trip walking his pace and the other half running down the street.”

Louis barks out a laugh, throwing his head back in the process as he laughs at his best friend’s life. “Mate, that’s shit. You really need some help.”

“No I don’t. I’m fine. How was your date?”

Louis has been trying to get Zayn out into the world and to start dating again. Not like Zayn had ever really dated to begin with, but so far, since Amber, Niall’s mom, had left, he hasn’t been on any dates. Zero dates in a year and a half. He’s not making headway, but he can’t be bothered. It was all a waste of his time.

“He’s perfect! Zayn you have to meet him, he’s so dreamy. I tried to get him back in my place. I threw myself on him and latched myself around his body but he refuses to ever come inside. He says he’s not being a gentleman if he seduces me now,” Louis says with a pout.

“I have met Liam, remember? He’s been at my place at least nine times. You baby-sit Niall together. But, he won’t sleep with you? You’ve been dating for the past three months.”

“I know, he says it’s important to wait. I’m his first boyfriend and he doesn’t want to rush into things. He wants to make sure we’re serious about each other. Load of bullshit if you ask me,” Louis says as he stands in the kitchen making scrambled eggs for the breakfast items, looking like he’s a beaten up puppy.

Zayn and Louis had knew Liam back when they were in high school, but only briefly when he dated Louis ex-girlfriend and left the dance with Louis' date. But they didn’t really get to know him until he started coming into the diner. He had shown up everyday for two weeks and was always bashful and shy as he tried to catch a peek into the back. Zayn was the first to notice so he called Louis out and watched as he flirted his way into a date.

Liam worked at a local record label where their friend Ed recorded and they found themselves hanging out all together periodically.

~~

Work drags on slowly and Zayn finds himself growing restless as he taps a foot on the ground while watching the clock. His shift ends at three and then he has to walk to Niall’s daycare and bring him home. They’d spend the rest of the night together, locked up, and enjoying each other’s company.

Today though, he figures that they could stop off at a park and spend an hour or so there before they head home for the night.

His shift ends quicker than he realizes, and as he's taking his apron off and hangs it in the back room, Louis stops him as he’s walking out the door. “Want to do something this afternoon?”

“I’m thinking of taking Niall to the park, care to join?”

Louis nods his head and begins walking with Zayn in the direction of the daycare center.

When they get there, Niall comes toddling out of the building and throws himself into Louis’ outstretched arms. He laughs joyfully as Louis spins him around and blows a raspberry on his cheek.

“Hey bud, how are you? Did you miss me?”

Niall nods obediently and hugs Louis around the neck so he can kiss his cheek.

“Uncle Lou play? Niall questions.

“Yup. I talked your father into taking you to the park. We’re going to play on the swings and we’re going to go high, and we’re not going to listen to Baba when he tries to scold us, right?”

Niall shakes his head. “No listen, Baba.” He spins around and smiles when he sees Zayn. He squirms around in Louis arms and jumps into Zayn’s as he holds them open for him. “Miss, Baba.” Niall sighs out of happiness as he rests his head in the crook of Zayn’s neck as Zayn rubs his back soothingly.

“I’ll call Liam, and have him meet us there. Do you like Liam, Ni?” Louis asks as he pulls his phone out to send a quick text to his boyfriend.

~~

Liam is waiting for them on a bench in the park already and when Louis spots him, he runs ahead so he can launch himself onto the other boy. Niall tugs on Zayn’s hand pointing excitedly to where his two Uncles are embracing.

“Baba, Baba, look. Uncle Li,” Niall says, as he waves his free hand in the air until they’re a few feet away from them, and Zayn decides it’s safe to let go of Niall’s hand. Niall runs forward and hugs Liam around his legs.

“Niall, how are you?” Liam asks as he smiles down at the small boy attached to his leg and ruffling Niall’s hair.

“Niall good. Uncle Li, play. Play. Swing.”

Niall grabs Louis and Liam’s hands and pulls them towards the swing set with Zayn following close behind.

Zayn picks Niall up and places him in the swing gently and begins pushing onto his back so he can swing back and forth. Niall let’s out joyful shrieks at the movement of the playground equipment.

“High, Baba,” Niall demands. Zayn gives one gentle push and lets out a groan to make Niall think he’s trying harder to get Niall’s swing going higher.

Louis and Liam are sat on the swings on either side of Niall, looking at Zayn curiously. “Ed is having a party tomorrow. He wants you guys to come. It’s at a bar downtown to celebrate his upcoming album release," Liam says, shifting his gaze back to Louis.

“A party? I’m in,” Louis says.

Liam rolls his eyes, but smiles softly at his boyfriend before replying, “Course you are, babe. What about you, Zayn?” Liam asks, as he turns around to face Zayn properly.

Zayn struggles to find an answer. “I don’t know, I have Niall, and I can’t exactly just leave him alone for the night to go out and help you take care of drunk Louis.”

Louis kicks dirt at Zayn, a sign he doesn't appreciate the comment. “You’re making excuses. You know very well you can drop him off at your mother’s and come out with us.” When Zayn still shows signs of hesitation Louis turns to Niall. “Ni, do you want to spend the day with Mammie?”

Niall perks up and begins nodding vigorously. “Baba, Mammie! Mammie! Go,” he says as he wiggles around in the seat to try and climb out.

Zayn shoots Louis a reproachful look. “Thanks, Louis. No, Niall, sit down. You’re not going to her house, at least not right now. Tomorrow, apparently I’m going to a party with your Uncles.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Niall, eat your dinner or you’re not going to go to Mammie’s house,” Zayn threatens, as Niall keeps his mouth firmly shut, and turns his face to the side to avoid the approaching spoon. Zayn sighs. “Ni, you always eat. What’s wrong?”

Niall shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest after he pushes the bowl of food towards Zayn.

“Niall, please tell me.”

Niall looks over towards Zayn and says, “Baba, no leave.”

Zayn can’t help the small smile that appears on his face at Niall’s words. It’s a small reassurance of Niall’s attachment to him, his own little way of saying that no matter how much he loves other people he’ll always prefer Zayn over them.

“Oh, baby, I’m not leaving. You’re going to spend the night with Mammie and I’m going to see Uncle Louis and Liam, and do you remember Uncle Ed?” Niall nods. “I’m going to see them and then, first thing in the morning, when you wake up, Mammie is going to bring you back. Then we’ll spend the day together.”

Niall nods his head and opens his mouth, this time welcoming the food that Zayn has to offer.

~~

When Zayn gets Niall to his mother’s house he’s beginning to regret his decision about going out tonight, Niall has warmed up to the idea and is slowly returning to his original enthusiasm, but now Zayn can’t help but freak out. It's a complete twist from what he faced at dinner, with the way Niall had refused to eat. 

“I put his blanket in his bag, the orange one with the lion on the corner. He gets scared without it at night. Oh, and his bear. His bear is in there, too. He needs him to sleep. There are diapers, and a change of clothes for tomorrow. His pajamas and a pacifier also, incase he gets upset or fussy. Call me if he needs me, don’t hesitate please, I’ll have my phone on vibrate and I’ll come back immediately. Don’t let him eat sweets, he gets hyper and won’t lie down,” Zayn rambles on to his mother, as he double checks the bag in his hand.

His mother laughs and shakes her head, as she places a gentle hand on Zayn’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay. Look, he’s fine,” she says as she points over towards the other side of the room where Niall is waving a piece of string around in the air for her cat to chase, laughing as it runs around in circles.

Zayn sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry. I just worry about him. He was a bit upset earlier about me going out but,” he trails off and waves his hand in the air dismissively to show that Niall has obviously gotten over it.

Zayn’s mother lets out a light laugh. “It’s okay, honey. It’s hard, I know. But he’s fine. I’ll drop him off at around ten tomorrow. I’m sure by morning he’ll be begging to come back. You know how he is, he doesn’t like being away too long.”

Zayn nods his head and strides across the room. He stops in front of Niall, and crouches down. “Niall, Baba’s leaving now. You can have Mammie call me, okay?” Niall nods. “And you’re coming back in the morning. Your bear and blanket are here, too.”

“Okay, Baba.”

Zayn smiles and leans forward to press a quick kiss to Niall’s forehead. “ I will, baby, be good and remember you can call me for anything. I love you.”

“Love Baba,” Niall shouts at Zayn’s retreating figure before going back to the cat.

Zayn smiles and kisses his mother on the cheek before exiting the house.

~~

When Zayn arrives at the bar, it’s late, and the music is too loud. He has to shove his way through a mass of bodies in order to get to the back where he can find his friends. Louis is sitting in Liam’s lap with his face attached to the other boy’s neck, no doubt sucking a mark into the skin. Their table is scattered with glasses of various alcohol, a clear sign that they've been here for a while, drinking the entire time. 

He slides onto one of the table’s chairs and clears his throat, which causes the two other two of break of their trance where they’re consumed with only each other and look at him.

“Well, well, well look what we have here; fancy seeing you out of the house. You look different without a kid attached to your hip and cheerios in your hair,” Louis jokes as Liam places a hand over Louis’ mouth.

“Ignore him. He’s had one beer too many, I think.”

Zayn nods his head as he reaches out and grabs one of the beers that Louis has pushed his way. He takes a tentative sip and feels his body relax ever so slightly. It’s been ages since he’s had alcohol. He knows he can’t have too much otherwise he would be stumbling all over the place. He doesn’t think it’d be far to make Liam carry two people home, and he doesn't want to nurse a hungover while dealing with a toddler. 

“Good to see you too, Lou. Where’s Ed at anyway? I thought this whole thing was his idea.” Zayn’s eyes scan the bar as he tries to spot their ginger friend’s characteristic red hair with no luck.

“He went to the bar to get more drinks with Harry,” Liam says as he picks up his coke and takes a sip. He must notice Zayn’s confusion because he continues, “Harry is a friend from work. He’s new, just started working a month ago. Him and Ed have gotten really close.”

Zayn nods. “Is he an artist, producer, or what?”

“He’s a producer, like me. We’re both working with Ed, and he’s actually very good at his job.”

“And he has the most luscious hair I have ever seen. I just want to run my fingers through it,” Louis adds, “But your hair is much better, Liam. Don’t worry it’ll always be my favorite,” Louis says when he notices Liam’s smile falter. He rubs his hand across his boyfriends shaved head and presses a kiss to his temple.

Zayn turns away and spots Ed making his way over towards them. Zayn gets up from his seat and pulls Ed into a hug as he sets the beers down on the table.

“Hey man, long time no see.”

“Yeah, well…I’ve been busy with Niall. You know how it is.”

Ed bobs his head, not really understand, but sympathizing. He throws a hand over Zayn’s shoulder and turns him around. “You have to meet my friend, Harry. He’s a great lad. You’ll love him.”

Zayn turns around and his eyes immediately land on the boy standing in front of him. He’s tall and lanky with exaggeratedly long legs that are even more obscene as they’re shown off in skintight jeans. He’s wearing a white shirt that hugs his chest and his arms perfectly. He has the sleeves rolled up to show off his biceps Zayn assumes, and he can see a litter of tattoos peeking out from under the sleeve. His brown cinnamon curly colored hair is styled messily and his green eyes are shining even in the dim bar light. Zayn’s breath catches in his throat because holy shit this boy was attractive.

The boy, Harry he assumes, holds his hand out towards Zayn. “Hi, names Harry, Harry Styles.”

Zayn attaches his hand to the other boy’s and firmly shakes it before dropping it down to his side. “Zayn Malik.”

~~

The evening carries on with light conversations between the five, and Zayn finds that he really is having a great time until his phone vibrates in his pocket. He pulls it out and sees it’s his mother, which means that it’s probably Niall. He excuses himself and quickly makes his way outside.

When he gets outside, he accepts the call and presses the phone to his ear. “Mom? What’s wrong?”

It’s silent but then he’s met with the sound of a small sniffle. “Baba,” Niall says and Zayn feels his heart clench.

“Ni, sweetheart, what’s the matter?”

Zayn walks away from the music and the sound of drunken chatter near the bar entrance and leans against the wall in the alley.

“Miss Baba,” Niall cries out and he becomes a bit inconsolable after that. Zayn hushes him quietly and speaks encouraging words into the phone.

When Niall’s finally calmed down Zayn speaks again, “are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“No sleep. Need Baba.”

“Where’s Mammie?”

“Mammie here. Need Baba.”

Zayn can hear the exhaustion in Niall’s voice as he lets out another whimper and sniffle. Zayn knew that his son didn’t actually need him as much as he needed sleep. “Are you in bed?” Zayn asks.

“Yeah.”

“Okay lie down and Baba will sing to you. How does that sound? I’ll sing to you and I’ll stay on the phone until Mammie tells me you’re sleeping.”

Niall agrees to the plan so Zayn begins singing softly into the phone. He tries to make his voice as quiet and as gentle as he can. Five minutes later, his mother gets on the phone and apologizes. She explains that Niall had refused to be put down and kept screaming for Zayn. He tells her that it’s fine and not worry because he figured something like this was bound to happen.

He gets off the phone with his mom and stays leaning against the wall with his head down as he takes deep breaths to clear his head of the guilt he feels about having not gone home to Niall. It took a lot for him to not abandon his friends and run back to his mothers and promise Niall he would never leave him again. But he can’t do that.

He pushes off the alley wall and starts walking back to the entrance of the bar but he’s surprised to see Harry standing in front of him looking bashful.

“Um, sorry. Ed was worried that you had been gone for too long and Louis tried to come out here, but he’s really drunk and Liam is forcing him to sit down and drink water. So I volunteered to check on you. Is everything all right?”

Zayn nods. “Yeah, it’s good just had to take a phone call.”

Harry nods and shoves his hands into his pockets as he looks back at Zayn. “You, uh, ready to come back inside?”

Zayn follows Harry inside and back towards their table. He throws himself down and immediately begins drinking again, he really needs to unwind and let off some steam. Things have been stressful for him and who knows when his friends will be able to convince him to leave the confines of his house without Niall, even if he'll regret it in the morning. 

~~

It’s well after midnight and Zayn is beginning to feel the buzz of the alcohol. Louis convinces him that it’s time for them to start doing shots. He agreed so him, Harry, and Louis made their way over towards the bar and order a round. Zayn throws his head back and feels his throat burn but he immediately begins to relish in the light headed feeling the drink provides. He orders another and another until his brain has been shut off and feels himself begin to let loose.

Louis has already left his side to go and grind against Liam in the middle of the dance floor. Zayn watches and laughs as Louis has his arms wrapped around Liam’s neck and one leg hiked up to wrap around his waist as he sucks another mark into Liam’s neck. Zayn knows they’ll be kicked out soon and he can’t stop himself from taking a couple pictures to show them the next time he sees them; his own little pieces of black mail.

Zayn turns when he hears someone clear their throat and notices that Harry is watching him closely, his gaze making Zayn squirm. He leans forwards and presses his lips against Zayn’s ear as he says, “want to dance?”

Zayn shivers when he feels Harry’s teeth graze against the lobe of his ear. He nods numbly and feels himself being dragged across the dance floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Zayn groans the next morning as he wakes up, throwing a pillow over his face to block the sunlight that is streaming in through the windows. He pulls the blanket over his head for good measure. He can’t remember how he had gotten back home last night, but from the headache he’s sporting, he can assume that he had gotten way drunker than he intended.

His head is pounding and he can vaguely remember what happened after the shots. He knows he danced with Harry and he can remember that they had spent much of the evening tucked away in the back corner of the bar making out. He can also vaguely remember leaving with Harry in a cab, but besides that he can’t remember anything.

He pulls the blankets off and glances at the clock, and quickly throws himself off the bed when he notices that it’s nearly noon and that Niall was supposed to be brought back to him two hours ago.

He scrambles around the room, throwing on a pair of sweats and a white tee before rushing out of his room. He stops abruptly when he reaches the end of the hall; perched on the couch is Harry with his arms around his son, reading him a book.

He leans against the wall and slowly brings his breathing back to a steady pace before clearing his throat, announcing his presence.

Niall whips his head around and smiles brightly. “Baba,” he shouts as he jumps off of Harry’s lap and runs towards Zayn, throwing himself into his father’s arms. Zayn picks Niall up and kisses the top of his head while he examines every part of Niall’s body.

“He’s okay.”

Zayn glances up at Harry’s words and offers a weak smile. “Sorry. It’s a force of habit when he’s been with other people.” Harry nods and continues watching them.

“Niall, when did Mammie bring you back?”

Zayn carries Niall across the room and sinks down into the couch, keeping a firm hold of Niall and forcing him to sit in his lap so he can’t go anywhere.

“Hmm,” Niall thinks. “Three.” Niall nods and grabs the book from Harry’s lap and goes back to flipping through its pages.

“It was a little after ten. I had just woken up, and I’m guessing it was your mother who came into the house, but she saw me and asked who I was and I told her that I was your friend, staying the night and that you were still sleeping. I was going to wake you but your mom said to let you go and that she was in a rush to leave so she gave him to me,” Harry explains.

Zayn nods in understanding, but silently curses his mother for leaving his son with a man she has never met before.

“We’ve just been sitting out here. He’s been reading me different stories," Harry says and when Zayn doesn't reply he adds, "I didn’t know you had a son.”

“Yeah not exactly something that could have been brought up last night.”

“I guess so.”

“Um, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you spend the night? Why didn’t you go home?”

Harry looks at Zayn, shaking his head. “You don’t remember?” Zayn shakes his head and continues staring at Harry with a blank expression before fragments of memories come rushing back to him: Harry shedding his clothes, sloppy kisses and his body hovering over Harry’s while the other boys rakes his fingers down his back with Zayn deep inside of him as they’re intertwined as one.

Harry watches as Zayn’s expression begins to show signs of recognition. “You invited me back here and we,” he waves his hands in the air and Zayn knows it’s because of Niall being in the room who is looking at him with bright blue eyes and a wide smile, “slept together, and that’s basically what happened.”

Zayn nods. “I see…well, shit.” Zayn rubs his hands up and down his face.

“Baba, bad word,” Niall says as he points his finger at Zayn, shaking his head.

“Sorry, bub. I forgot,” Zayn says with a smile. “Why don’t you run into my room and a find a movie that we can watch?”

Zayn waits until Niall is out of earshot before speaking. “I’m sorry. I don’t normally do this.” He points back and forth between Harry and himself. “I haven’t been out in a long time and I obviously had way too much to drink. I haven’t had sex in a year and a half.” Zayn’s eyes grow wide at the realization of what he said. “You definitely didn’t need to know that.”

Harry flinches at Zayn’s words. “Yeah, sorry. I should—I should go, yeah?” He gets up and begins to put on his shoes and his coat. He turns back around before leaving to say to Zayn, “I’m really glad you went out last night, Zayn. I had a really nice time with you.” He opens the door before Zayn has a chance to reply and slips out of the apartment.

Zayn sighs because what else can he do?

Niall comes running back into the living room and frowns when he notices Harry’s absence. “Baba, where go?

Niall walks across the room and slips the DVD into Zayn’s hands. “He had to go back to his house, sweetie. He couldn’t stay.”

Niall’s frown deepens. “Like Harry. He friend.”

Zayn nods absently and holds his arms out for Niall to comfort him.

~~

Zayn and Niall’s day carries out much in the same way: taking naps on the couch and watching Niall’s favorite Disney movies. Niall is sprawled out across the living room floor building with his blocks when Louis comes barging into the apartment with Liam in tow.

Niall jumps up and runs forward so he can hug both of their legs.

“Ugh, why are you here?” Zayn asks as he rolls his eyes because he should have known that Louis would come barging into his apartment the day after he gets drunk off his ass and brings someone back home.

Louis ignores him and picks up Niall, and peppers his face with kisses before passing him off to Liam and walking into the kitchen to make himself some tea.

Zayn shifts his eyes towards Liam, arching an eyebrow expectantly as he watches him place Niall back on the ground before he drops down on the couch next to Zayn.

“He woke up this morning and insisted that we come over here immediately. I got him to wait a few hours. He doesn’t remember much from last night, but unfortunately for you, Ed sent him a picture of you and Harry,” Liam explains.

Zayn groans. “Oh great there is a picture circulating. Let me see it.”

Liam reaches into his pocket and pulls open the photo on his phone. Zayn looks at it and sees his lips pressed against Harry’s with Harry hands cupping his cheeks. He feels a pull in his stomach at the sight but doesn’t say anything as he hands the phone back to Liam.

Louis comes back into the living room, balancing three cups of tea and setting them down on the table. He sits in the chair across the room and taps his foot on the floor as he sighs dramatically as he waits for Zayn to fill him on the details. Zayn pointedly ignores him instead and watches as Niall begins piling his toys on top of Liam’s legs.

“He’s learning to share,” Zayn explains when notices Liam’s horrified yet fond expression as Niall towers more and more on top of him. “Ever since the concept came about he gives people everything he has around him and then asks for it back, at least this week.”

Liam smiles and thanks Niall as he sets the 13th block on his legs, who nods firmly and begins to gather his books from off the table.

Louis lets out a loud groan and Zayn finally shifts his eyes over towards the older boy. “Problem, Louis?”

“Oh now you notice that I’m here, thanks a lot for ignoring me,” Louis says as he folds his arms across his chest and turns his head to the side.

“Niall notice. Niall not ignore,” Niall reassures as he turns around and smiles at Louis as he gives him the book in his hand before he turns back to giving his stuff to Liam.

“Thank you, Niall. Now Zayn, are you going to tell me about Harry?”

Zayn shakes his head much to Louis’ displeasure and before he can retort a response Niall perks up. “Harry nice. Harry juice and read.”

Louis leans forward and scoops the child into his lap. “Tell Uncle Lou more since Baba is being mean.”

“Baba no mean,” Niall says as he shakes his head at Louis. “Baba nice.”

“Okay, okay, sorry. Baba you’re the best there is. Now Niall, tell me more about Harry.”

“No, no, you will not use my son to get information about my life. Louis, put him down,” Zayn says as he sets his cup down on the table and begins to stand up to go and save Niall from Louis’ arms, but the other boy turns his body and shields Niall from his father.

“Harry leave,” Niall explains as he chooses to ignore the argument going on over his head and answers his Uncle. “Harry play. Baba sleep. Not bye.” Niall ends his sentence with a frown and his head held down as he jumps of Louis lap and begins to take his toys back from Liam.

~~

Later after Zayn gets Niall to fall asleep does he decide to indulge his friends by telling them all he could remember about Harry. “He was nice and I don’t honestly remember much of anything other than taking the shots and then dancing. Next thing I know, I woke up here in my bed wearing nothing but a pair of boxers with Harry on my couch, reading a book to my son.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “This story sucks. Where are the dirty details?”

“I don’t have any. I asked him what happened and all he said was that we slept together and that he didn’t know I had a son and then he left,” Zayn says as he shrugs nonchalantly. He decides to leave out the fact that he could remember bits and pieces like the sounds Harry made when he was deep inside of him or the way his breath felt against his neck as he slept. He can remember the sweat that shined across Harry’s forehead and the way his back arched off the bed as Zayn thrusted into him. But knew those details weren’t meant for Louis; no, he wanted to keep those for himself.

“So, you had sex?” This time it was Liam who wanted to know the gossip of Zayn’s life and Zayn looks momentarily betrayed before nodding.

“Wait did he leave or did you kick him out?” Louis asks as he eyes Zayn because he knows he’s leaving out parts of the story.

“I may or may not have told him that I didn’t do this. Whatever it was we were doing, I don’t know, something like that.” Zayn looks down, suddenly finding the details of the table to be very interesting and hoping that if he doesn’t look up then Louis wouldn’t give him a disappointed look.

“So you kicked him out without even talking to him?”

“I don’t—Lou, I don’t want someone in Niall’s life that way. I don’t want someone who can leave. I’m stuck with you. You’re never going anywhere.”

“You let Liam into his life! And he could turn out to be temporary. You never know,” Louis says, as he shrugs casually.

“Hey,” Liam says, as he looks appalled at the suggestion. Louis quickly leans forward and pecks Liam on the lips before murmuring, “Babe, you're not temporary. Now shush, I’m making a point.”

“See, Liam isn’t going anywhere. He’s stuck with you just as much as I am. I wouldn’t have allowed just any of your boyfriends into my son’s life. And I haven’t. Liam is the first.”

“Well, what about any of your own boyfriends?”

Zayn opens his mouth and then quickly closes it before shaking his head. “No, Harry is not my boyfriend and I don’t have any intentions of getting a boyfriend.”

Louis and Liam exchange a look before sighing. “Um, Zayn, I know it’s not my place but you’ve been single for almost two years and you haven’t even been on a date. Harry’s the first person you’ve even slept with since Niall was born. Maybe, I don’t know, give him a chance?”

Zayn looks at Liam and absorbs the words he just said. He feels himself wanting to argue the statement. He wants to argue that he’s find but really besides one night together he doesn’t have any other connections to the curly haired boy. He can’t trust him to entire their lives and stay there for good.


	4. Chapter 4

Zayn feels like he should have known taking Niall to the party today wasn’t a good idea, but Niall had begged and when Zayn continued to adamantly say no, he decided it was best to throw a fit. Niall threw himself on the ground, screaming and crying as he insisted that Zayn was ‘mean’ and ‘not nice’ and the one that got Zayn to change his mind, ‘Baba should love Niall’.

Zayn thinks that Niall learned that one from Louis, who always pouts and claims Zayn doesn’t love him when he refuses to let Louis have his way. And normally Zayn is firm on not letting Niall get what he wants when he throws a tantrum, but this time he can’t help himself. This time he caves and that’s how they found themselves at the park.

Niall’s playing in the sand box, picking up the sand in his hands before he throws it in the air and showers himself with it and he lets out giggles as it falls into his hair. Zayn watches and sighs as he shakes his head.

“Ni, you’re going to get it in your eyes if you’re not careful. Come on let’s try the swings, yeah?” Niall shakes his head and folds his arms over his chest. “No, I know let’s go for a walk around.”

Niall thinks for a moment before nodding his head and crawling out of the sand box. He holds his hand in the air and waits for Zayn to take it when he finally makes the decision to walk their way around the perimeter around the park.

~~

The park is large and Zayn knows it would normally take them at least twenty minutes before they’re even halfway. He figures they can walk that and by the time they’re finished Niall will be tired and ready for his nap.

Throughout their walk Niall keeps pointing out all the people and animals he can see. “Baba, look,” Niall says as he points up towards the sky. “What that?”

Zayn follows Niall’s small finger’s direction. “That’s a kite, babe.”

“Kite?” Niall says in confusion as he tilts his head to the side and scrunches his eyes. “What do?”

“If the wind is nice you run really fast and the wind picks up the end there and it flies in the sky and you pull on a string and move it around.”

Niall nods, “kites bird.”

Zayn can’t help but let out a small laugh, “yeah, kind of like a bird.”

~~

They walk around for several more minutes before Niall begins tugging on Zayn’s hand squealing with excitement and stomping his feet, waving his free hand in the air. Zayn frowns, not understanding what has Niall so excited, “Niall, what is it?”

Niall lets go of Zayn’s hand and begins running across the park shouting something Zayn can’t make out.

He stands frozen momentarily because never has Niall run off without him, ever.

Zayn finally breaks out of his shock and realizes that his son has made it several feet away, too far for comfort. He breaks out in a run, a pace he picks up when he notices a man stopping in front of Niall, bent down with a hand on his shoulder.

Zayn catches with Niall and hunches over, hands on his knees, breathing heavily, not only is he out of shape but he feels himself nearing an anxiety attack. He grabs Niall, and turns him around and looks at him sternly. “Niall, never run off like that again. Ever. Do you understand?”

Niall deflates from Zayn’s sternness but nods nonetheless. “Sorry Baba.” He keeps his face down and ignores his father’s gaze. Zayn pulls him against his chest, tightening his arms around him. “You scared, Baba. You scared me so badly. Are you okay? Why did you run?”

Niall pushes himself off Zayn turns around pointing at the man across from them, who Zayn had completely forgotten about. He looks up slowly and he feels his chest tighten at the sight before him. Harry stands there in a pair of athletic shorts and a tight white shirt that was made worse by the circle of sweat causing it to cling even more.

“Harry,” Niall shouts, breaking Zayn out of his gaze.

He nods vigorously. “Yeah that’s him…Harry. Hi. What are you,” he pauses, pinching the bridge of his nose, “what are you doing here?”

Harry laughs. “It’s a park, Zayn. I’m allowed to be here too.”

“No, that’s not…shit. SHOOT,” Zayn shouts in correction, checking to make sure Niall has missed the curse, which he has. Niall is too busy staring up at Harry with a wide smile on his face and his arms tucked behind his back. “I just meant like, what are you doing? Not why are you here. Of course you can be here.”

“Some friends of mine wanted to play a bit of Frisbee. We were in the middle of the game when they saw Niall running across the field. We were worried he was lost or in danger but I recognized him and I figured it was better me than someone else,” Harry explains with a shrug.

“No, see you.”

Both men glance down towards Niall, Harry wearing a small smile on his face as he crouches down to Niall’s height. “I know you did. I’m glad. How are you doing?”

“Good. Park and nap,” Niall says with a frown at what he has coming up after his fun has ended. Niall has always hated naps and sleeping in general because he’s constantly worried that he’s going to miss something. Zayn usually has to lie down next to him until he falls asleep so he’s reassured that nothing is going to happen while he’s in bed.

“Yeah? Well, how much longer do you have at the park?” Harry asks as he glances up at Zayn as he directs his questions towards him. Zayn shrugs because really his plan was to walk Niall through the park until he was tired but now he knows Niall won’t go without Harry.

Harry nods. “Well Niall, do you want to come and watch me and my friends play a game for a little while?”

“Yes,” Niall says as he holds his hand out towards Harry who grabs it before he stands back up and looks at Zayn. “Is that…Is that okay with you? I don’t want to ruin what you guys have planned.”

Zayn shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. We can spare a few minutes.”

Niall smiles and holds his other hand out for Zayn, who takes it instantly. They begin making their way across the field towards where Harry’s friends are standing around.

When they get closer Harry’s friends start making cat calls and throwing questions their way, “Whose the kid?” “That your boyfriend, Styles?” “Harry hurry the fuck up and stop playing house.”

Zayn stops, looks down at Niall then back to up towards Harry. “No actually, we have to go. I just remembered we have a thing to do later and it’s almost his naptime and he really needs to sleep. Louis kept him up late last night, and yeah we…it was nice seeing you. Niall say goodbye.”

Niall pouts before hugging Harry’s leg and saying his goodbyes. Zayn quickly picks him up and begins to walk away, shaking his head, because of course something would happen. He had a feeling he should have turned down Harry’s offer and he would have if his eyes weren’t so incredibly green and he found himself unable to say no to them, or at least in that moment with the sun shining into them just the right way. If Harry’s friends were anything like him then he had saved himself and his son the trouble of a horrible afternoon.

Zayn speed walks away ignoring Harry’s cries for them to come back merely waving over his shoulder and not turning back with a second glance.

~~

The afternoon goes by smoothly with Zayn taking a nap in his bed with Niall sprawled out across his chest. Niall hadn’t mentioned Harry or what happened in the park all night until now while Zayn is giving him a bath.

“Harry no play,” Niall says as he drops his Power Ranger into the water and looking up at Zayn who has paused shampoo clad hands over Niall’s head. He quickly snaps out of it and begins massaging the suds into Niall’s hair. “Baba, why?

Zayn hasn’t been ignoring Niall’s question, he’s just not sure how to answer it. “I don’t know, babe, but he was playing with his friends before we got there so maybe that’s why? Head back.

Niall leans his head back obediently so Zayn can rinse the soap out of his hair.

“Harry play?” Niall looks at Zayn, holding a soft gaze. Niall always thinks that Zayn is the smartest person around and that he would have the answer for anything and that if he wanted Harry to play with him then Zayn could make that happen.

“I don’t know baby, we’ll have to see.” Zayn didn’t plan on seeing Harry again. Niall had only met him twice and found himself already attached.

This was always a problem bringing people into Niall’s life, and luckily his mother had left before Niall could even remember she existed. And when Zayn’s father died Niall had spent two months asking for his Pappie and crying when no one would bring him to him. It was the same when Zayn had told him he couldn’t keep the puppy they found in the park, that turned out to already have an owner, but Niall cried the entire night and wouldn’t speak to Zayn.

He knew that Harry coming into Niall’s life would be a problem. He had no attachments to him besides the night they shared over two weeks ago, after Ed’s party. What reason would Harry have to stick around? They weren’t even friends.

Zayn quickly got Niall out of the bath and ready for bed. When he finally finishes his rendition of Little Red Riding Hood, he kisses Niall on the cheek and tucks his bear under his arm and begins to make his way out of his room.

Zayn collapses into his own bed, sinking into the mattress on top of the blankets, and finds his thoughts are circling around the curly haired boy who keeps popping into his life without warning.


	5. Chapter 5

“You’re hopeless, you’re absolutely hopeless,” Louis says as he throws his dishrag towards Zayn, narrowly missing his head, and letting out an exasperated sigh.

“How am I hopeless?” Zayn doesn’t bother looking up, instead he grabs the rag thrown at him and tosses it back in Louis’ direction so he could continue to help Zayn scrub the tables.

Louis rolls his eyes as he catches the cloth in his hands. “You see Harry at a park and you flee like an idiot. What is the matter with you?”

Zayn finishes off the table and adjusts the condiments before he finally graces Louis with his glance. “His friends were shouting obscenities around my child. I’m not going to expose Niall to Neanderthals.” When Louis rolls his eyes, again, he continues, “You weren’t there. They were calling me his boyfriend, using profanity and don’t roll your eyes at me, Louis, but they were making remarks about Niall and I don’t appreciate that and if Harry actually wanted us to be there with him, he would have told them to shut up. They’re pigs.” Zayn finishes his statement with a deep breath before walking over to the next table, bending down and begins scrubbing it clean.

“Okay, so his friends are shit but that doesn’t mean he is.” When Zayn ignores Louis to whistle under his breath to show he wasn’t going to answer he presses on, “okay fine. It was a shitty thing to do and he’s a prick, happy?”

Zayn nods. “Yup. And why do you care anyway? You don’t even know Harry.”

Zayn finishes off the table and swings the rag over his shoulder while he carries the tray of dirty dishes towards the back.

“Actually, Liam and I have been hanging out with Harry a lot and he’s a really good guy,” Louis says as he slouches down into one of the stools by the counter and watches Zayn scrub dishes. “And besides he’s hot as fuck and if you’re not going to at least have sex with him again I’m going to have to.”

Zayn snorts out laugh. “Yeah mate, sure Liam would love that.”

Louis waves him off. “I’ll let him watch.”

~~

“Baba, juice,” Niall says as he waves his sippy cup in Zayn’s face.

“Juice, please,” Zayn corrects as he sets down his graphite pencil carefully on his sketchpad before taking the cup from Niall’s hand as he heads towards the refrigerator.

“Baba, juice please,” Niall says with a smile as Zayn places the cup back in his hands before he begins to suck the juice out. He sets the cup down and looks over towards Zayn’s paper. “What that?”

Zayn looks up at his son with a smile. “I’m drawing you, babe.” Niall tilts his head to the side. “It’s not done yet. I’m just starting. Let’s see your picture. What do you have?”

Niall slides his upper half off the table before he passes his paper over to Zayn. “Dog, Niall, Baba.”

Zayn smiles and reaches out to ruffle Niall’s hair so he can place a kiss on his forehead. “It’s beautiful. I’m to hang this one on the fridge later.”

Niall nods, satisfied and proud of himself.

It’s early evening and Niall and Zayn are sitting in the living room at the coffee table drawing together. Zayn is using it as an excuse to catch up on his sketches and refresh his skills, plus he selfishly loves that Niall shares his passion for the arts. Their small apartment is flooded with photographs of Niall as a baby and drawings and paintings he’s made.

They’re interrupted from their drawings by the sound of their buzzer. Zayn frowns because he’s not expecting anyone, but walks towards the door regardless. He looks out the small peephole and sighs when he sees Louis with his face plastered against the door trying to see inside as Liam stands behind him. He pulls away from the door and turns towards Niall. “It’s Uncle Louis and Liam. We should just let them stand out there.”

Niall frowns and shakes his head. “Not nice, Baba.” He reaches up towards the door and slowly pulls it open. He steps backwards behind it with a smile on his face as he lets Louis and Liam inside. Niall latches himself onto Liam’s hand and leads him towards the table. He tells him to sit down so he can plop himself in Liam’s lap and resume coloring.

“What are you doing here, Lou?” Zayn asks as he closes the door and goes back to cleaning up his art supplies and setting them own on the shelf across the room.

“I came to see my favorite nephew. Now stop being an ass and sit down.”

“Bad word,” Niall says as he shakes his head disapprovingly at Louis before grabbing the green crayon and going back to his work.

“You’re raising your son to be just as scolding as you are,” Louis says as he crosses his legs and watches as Zayn places a cup of tea down in front of him.

“He’s not even two, I don’t want him talking with a foul mouth, excuse me for being a good father.” Zayn flashes Louis a playful glare before shrugging his shoulders, “besides when you and Liam have children you can raise them to be however you want until them leave me and mine alone.”

Liam jerks his head up. “What? We’re not…we’re not having kids, we just started… but I don’t, we’re not.” Louis and Zayn exchanged looks before barking out with laughter at the stress on Liam’s face, who merely rolled his eyes and passes Niall the red crayon. “You’re both absolute jerks.”

Zayn shrugs. “But seriously, Lou, what are you doing here?”

“We wanted to invite you to come out with us tomorrow, Ed invited us to go for drinks and we figured two weeks locked up with a toddler you could use a night out.”

Zayn bobs his head in agreement. “Yeah I guess so, what’s the occasion?”

“We wrapped up the recording of Ed’s new album. He wants to celebrate,” Liam adds.

“Yeah, I guess I could make an appearance. I’ll have to take Niall to the neighbors since my moms out of town.”

~~

Zayn walks into the bar and the music is pulsing and he can feel the vibrations radiating throughout his body. He shoves through the people and makes his way to the bar and makes a mental note to stick to beer, and beer only before he weaves his way towards the back to find his friends at their usual table.

He slides easily into the booth and greets each of his friends. “Ed, I heard your album is all recorded. When are you going to let us have a listen?”

Ed throws his beer back before replying. “It’s not quite finished yet, but you’re welcome to stop by whenever, bring Niall. I know he loves to play around with my guitar.”

Zayn nods. “Yeah, he does. Last time he spent the week after saying he wanted to be like Uncle Ed when he grew up.”

Ed barks out a laugh, shaking his head fondly. “Kids cute, you’re lucky.”

Zayn smiles and goes back to nursing his beer. His attention isn’t entirely on the conversations his friends are having, who are arguing back and forth about the upcoming football match when feels someone nudges him in the ribs. “What?” He glances up and notices that Louis is giving him a smirk before sending him a wink and glancing forward.

Zayn turns his attention towards where all three of his friend’s eyes are and notices the familiar mop of curls making their way towards their table.

“What the hell, Louis?” Zayn hisses from under his breath.

“Oh shut up, I didn’t invite him. Liam did,” Louis says as he sticks his tongue out at Zayn before offering Harry a welcome.

Zayn continues glaring daggers at the side of Louis’ head, which is currently positioned on Liam’s shoulder, licking a stripe up his neck, giggling while Liam threads his fingers through his hair continuing his conversation with Ed and paying no mind to the boy trying to devour his neck.

Harry clears his throat as he slides in next to Zayn. “Hey.”

Zayn turns and offers a tight smile towards the other boy. “Uh, yeah, hi. I didn’t know you were coming.”

Harry looks at him before casually pulling his hair over to one side. “Is that a problem?” He picks up his beer and takes a careful sip as he studies Zayn’s face.

“No, it’s not a problem, just no one told me so I’m just a bit surprised is all.” When Harry only nods he adds, “How have you been?”

Harry shrugs. “Could be worse, what about you?”

“I’m good, yeah, I’m just working and taking care of Niall. Louis showed up and said he wanted to me to come out, so here I am.”

Harry smiles. “I’m glad. How’s Niall?”

Zayn pauses slightly surprised by the question when he realizes that he hasn’t answered and Harry is smirking at him he shakes his head. “Oh right, um sorry. He’s good, yeah; I mean, he’s always good. He’s a very happy child.”

Harry smiles. “He’s cute. I like him. Wish you two could have stayed longer at the park the other day.”

Zayn shrugs casually. “Yeah well…” he waves his hand dismissively trying to show he doesn’t really want to talk about the subject anymore.

After that the conversation is strained and Zayn finds himself wishing more and more that he could go back home and pick Niall up and cuddle him in bed until they both fell asleep together and forget all about the idea of going out tonight.

~~

They manage to go from sitting at their own table to sitting at the stools placed in front of the bar. Louis is completely drunk, again. This time managing to convince Liam to get in the same state. They had left the club in a cab, giggling into each other’s shoulders. Ed and Harry are currently laughing about something that happened at the studio. Zayn is having trouble keeping up, not only because he wasn’t there to know what they’re talking about, who half the people in the story were but to put it simply because he just wanted to go home.

It’s not until one in the morning that Zayn decides to leave.

He has spent the entire night wishing that he could flee the bar but the final straw for him is when Ed leaves to go to the bathroom, leaving Zayn alone with Harry. That’s when things took a turn for the worst.

After Ed had saunters off, Zayn turns ready to start a conversation with the other boy when he notices that Harry’s attention is focused solely on the bartender.

Zayn watches with a glare as Harry whispers what appears to be sweetly in the bartender’s ear causing him to blush. Or, what Zayn believes to be a blush. It continues on for several minutes: Harry’s hand reaching out to hold onto the strangers wrist, his lips remaining a few inches away from the others ear with a arrogant smirk on his face that Zayn can’t help but want to smack off. He glances around the bar and notices that Ed was on the other side of the building talking to a girl. Zayn rolls his eyes realizing he is stuck, alone, while both his friends, well friend, he didn’t consider Harry to be a friend of his yet, talk to people they could both probably end up taking home that night. Zayn sets down his beer and slides off the stool.

Harry glances over, sensing Zayn’s movement. “Where are you going?” When he finally takes in Zayn’s appearance he frowns. “Wait, are you leaving?”

Zayn snorts. “Not like it matters to you, but yes I am.”

“What do you mean not like it matters? Here, let me at least walk you out.”

Zayn grabs Harry’s arm, stopping him. “No don’t, wouldn’t want to interrupt anything,” he says as he moves his arm back forth pointing between Harry and the now annoyed bartender. “You stay here and continue with your” his lips curl in distaste, “friend.”

“No, Zayn, it’s not-” Zayn cuts him off again, “I really don’t care, but I don’t feel like sitting around being ignored, so I’m going home to my son. Have a good night, Harry.”


	6. Chapter 6

Zayn watches as more people come into the diner, filtering off to find a place to sit down for lunch. It's been a slow day, allowing him time to work on his drawings, because although people have been coming in, it hasn't been many. He's already finished the one of Niall he started a few weeks ago, and he's now busy sketching a sweaty, cursing Louis, who is standing in the back, a spatula in hand as he tries to read the messy scrawl of the waiters on the food tickets. 

He begins to lose himself in his work, keeping his eyes trained on Louis while his hand sweeps across the paper making lines and marks that will turn into something recognizable. He’s too busy trying to get the shading of Louis hair right that he doesn’t realize someone is standing behind him until he hears the sound of them clearing their throat. He assumes it’s a customer, so he sets his sketchpad down and glances up. His smile falters when he sees that it’s Harry, hands in his pockets and a sheepish smile on his face.

“Oh it’s you,” Zayn says, as he holds his hand out for Harry’s receipt so he can punch the numbers into the register. But Harry doesn’t move. Zayn rolls his eyes. “Are you going to pay or stand there all day?”

Harry shakes his head. “I didn’t eat anything. I just got here.”

“Oh, well there isn’t a hostess so you can sit wherever you want and someone will help you. I just help people pay.”

Harry slides onto the stood adjacent to where Zayn is standing. “I saw your drawing. It’s really nice.”

Zayn closes his sketchbook and slides it on to the shelf under the counter, hiding it away from Harry's eyes. “Thanks.”

They sit in momentary silence, both boys looking around nervously before Harry speaks, “You look great, by the way. You always do.” His eyes travel up Zayn’s body, smirking in satisfaction.

“Uh,” Zayn says, frozen in place since he’s unsure of how to reply to the compliment. He can feel his skin blushing red and feels momentarily betrayed by himself since he’s letting Harry see him like this.

Harry notices Zayn’s blush and his grin grows even bigger. “You’re pretty. What do you say after this I take you out to dinner?”

“I have a kid, a child in daycare. I can’t exactly just go prancing around town.”

“I’ll pick him up. He’ll love to see me,” Louis shouts from the back, smiling widely and waving at Harry.

“See, Louis will watch him.” Harry reaches out and grabs onto Zayn’s hand. He rubs circles onto the skin, his touch making Zayn's stomach flip, as he waits for Zayn to answer.

“No, I’d rather get him myself.”

“That’s okay he can come too. I don’t mind. I know plenty of great places to bring kids. He’ll have a blast with us.” Harry’s smile shines at the idea and Zayn feels himself wanting to give in but then the thought of Harry and the bartender snaps into his mind like a rubber band snapping against his skin, like it's been waiting to come to the forefront of his mind this whole time.

Zayn pulls away from Harry’s grasp. “No actually, we’re busy tonight.”

“Okay, how about tomorrow?”

“No, sorry. Can’t.”

Harry’s smile falters slightly before picking back up again. “That’s okay you tell me when and it’ll be a date.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Zayn says with a sigh as he watches Harry’s face fall. “Listen, I don’t know what your deal is but I really don’t have time for games. I have a son and I can’t expose him to these kinds of things.”

"Z, I don't know what you're-"

Zayn cuts him off mid sentence, "I'm sure you don't." When Harry's expression only shows more confusion he presses on, "first, you go to the bar and you bring me back to my house for sex, then you spend an evening hitting on the bartender. I'm assuming you had sex with him, and who knows before me. It's fine if that's what you want to do, but I can't. I'm sorry."

Zayn turns and walks towards the back. He tosses his apron down telling Louis he was heading out early. Zayn doesn’t turn back to look at Harry, missing the look of hurt that flashed across his face.

~~

“Niall, do you want to try and use the big boy potty?” Zayn watches as Niall shakes his head and reaches out to hold onto the sides of his diaper. “Niall, come on. Don’t you just want to try it? Hmm? Maybe just once?”

Niall continues to shake his head. “No, Baba. Niall diaper.”

“I know, buddy, but don’t you want to be like Baba and use the big boy potty?”

“Baba, use.”

“Yeah, I do. I don’t wear diapers, I use this.”

“No, baba use.” Zayn gives Niall a confused expression, shaking his head to show he doesn’t understand what Niall meant. Niall sighs, and points from Zayn to the toilet and back to Zayn.

“Oh, you want me to go, and show you?”

Niall smiles and bobs his head up and down. “Baba potty. Niall diaper.”

Just as Zayn is beginning to explain to Niall that he doesn’t need to use the toilet, when in actuality he didn’t feel comfortable going with Niall watching, does he notice Niall is continuing to smile at him as the smell of urine hits his nose. Zayn stops and stands back for a minute trying to process what is happening before Niall breaks off his thoughts, “Niall pee.”

Zayn beings laughing, he falls back and leans against the tub. He can’t believe that Niall has used his diaper in an effort to show Zayn his preferred method of going to the bathroom. He knows it wasn’t meant to be funny nor is it as funny as he’s making it out to be but that doesn’t stop him from clutching his sides as he continues to laugh. Niall begins laughing too, unbeknownst to him what exactly his father is laughing about. Niall just knows that laughing is taking place and he has to join in.

“Baba, funny,” Niall says through a giggle, covering his hands with his mouth.

Zayn gains control of himself before speaking, “yeah baby, it’s funny. Come here.” He holds his arms out and Niall jumps into them, wrapping himself around his father.

Zayn stands up still holding Niall in his arms and carries him back towards the changing table. He lays Niall down gently and tugs off his little jeans. He pulls off the tabs of his diaper and cleans his son before throwing out the dirty one and replacing it with a new one. He blows a quick raspberry to Niall’s stomach relishing in the delighted squeal he’s rewarded with before placing Niall back on the ground.

Zayn leaves Niall alone in his room with his toys, as he makes his way back into the living room. Before he has time to even sit down his apartments buzzer is going off. He walks towards the door, pulling it open without checking whom it could be thinking it’s Louis but he; surprised with who is standing behind it.

“Harry? What are you doing here?” Zayn asks as he stands frozen in the doorway with wide eyes as he takes in the boy in front of him.

“I just, we had a misunderstanding and well, no…it wasn’t exactly that I guess, um,” Harry pauses, scratching the back of his neck. “Can I come in?

Zayn sighs before opening the door wider. “Yeah, come in.” He closes the door behind him and watches as Harry stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, glancing around. “You can sit down, Harry.”

Harry nods and sits down on the couch. He begins rubbing his hands over his knees.

“So are you going to tell me why you’re here?” Zayn asks.

“Yeah, back at the diner today, you, uh, kind of implied that you thought something was happening between the bartender and me. I couldn’t help but get the feeling you aren’t very happy about that idea.” Zayn doesn’t respond so Harry presses on. “I don’t know what you thought, but Zayn, I don’t go to bars and clubs and just grab random people each night for an easy fuck.”

“Well you fucked me, and what about that bartender? I wasn’t imagining things Harry, you were being flirtatious.”

“Zayn no you really don’t understand. The bartender,” when he notices Zayn’s eye roll he presses on more urgently, “no please listen, please just fuck, please.”

“Alright, alright calm down. I’m listening.”

“The bartender is my sisters husband. I swear I wasn’t flirting with him. Nothing was happening I promise. It may have looked flirtatious but that’s just how I am, but there is nothing going on between us. Please, I don’t even know why’d you be upset about it but if you think I’m sleeping around I’m not. Before you I haven’t had sex in a long, a really long time. I don’t just sleep with anyone, and I would never pick up someone else in front of you. I’m not like that. We’ve had sex together I would never insult you by finding someone else in front of you, or anyone else I’ve had sex with. Please believe me. You have to believe me, Zayn.”

Zayn watches Harry and slowly takes in his desperate expression and pleading eyes before he nods his head. “I’m sorry I said what I said. But you have to understand that it’s hard for me, and yeah I’m sorry. I believe you.”

Relief floods Harry’s face but before he can reply they are interrupted by the sound of small feet running down the hallway and into the room. Niall’s face lights up when he spots Harry. “Baba, Harry.” He runs across the room and flings himself onto the other boy’s lap and makes himself comfortable. “Harry, play?”

Harry looks up at Zayn seeking his permission and when he receives a nod in response he smiles down at Niall. “I came here just for you,” Harry says as he pokes Niall in cheek when he smiles brightly.

“Baba, Harry play.” He stands up and grabs onto Harry’s hand and tries to drag him down the hallways and back towards his room.

Harry smiles taking Niall’s hand and going willingly towards where the toddler is leading him. He turns around, “coming, Baba?” Harry asks as he offers Zayn a cheeky grin following by a wink before turning around and walking with Niall.


	7. Chapter 7

“So what happened?”

Zayn glances up and looks at Louis with a raised eyebrow as he counts the money in the register. 

“With Harry, he spent the other night at your house?” Louis says as he wiggles his eyebrows at Zayn. 

“It wasn’t like that, at all. He came by to talk about our misunderstanding in the diner the other day and Niall saw him, wanted to play so he stayed for a few hours then left before dinner.”

Louis rolls his eyes, “you’re so boring. Did you at least pin him up against the wall and have your way with him?”

Zayn chokes and looks at Louis. “Are you out of your mind?”

“Probably.”

“No you are, don’t you have a kitchen to clean? Don’t really think you should be out here with me.” Zayn slides the money back into their slots before closing it and locking it up. He jots down the numbers in a small notebook before slipping it under the counter for his boss the next day.

“The kitchen is fine, and don’t change the subject. What did you and Harry do?” 

Louis stands up and follows Zayn towards the front door and waiting as he locks it up.

“We played with my son and his toys and then he left and before you ask no I did not try and have sex with him and he didn’t try and have sex with me.”

“You two are honestly the worst boyfriends I have ever met,” Louis says but pauses to shake his head. “Actually no, Liam and I haven’t had sex yet so I can’t say you’re all that boring but at least my boyfriend gives the best blow jobs: for a boy who has never had a boyfriend, amazing. But you two have already had sex, and Harry, Zayn I can tell when someone is great, and he’s probably the best there is. Now tell me, how good was he?”

Zayn shakes his head and sticks the diner’s key into his pocket. “You’re hopeless, and honestly do you think about anything other than sex?” When Louis just stands there looking at him, hands on his hips, he sighs carrying on, “he was perfectly fine from what I can recall, happy?”

“He’s probably hung like a horse. Is he big? I bet he’s massive.”

Zayn gawks at Louis. “I am not answering that.”

“That’s okay I have quite the imagination.”

“You’re horrible, don’t you have a boyfriend?”

Louis stops to unlock his car, indicating for Zayn to get in on the other side when they’re finally strapped in and driving he answers. “Yes I do, and Liam is wonderful. He’s stopping by later. I told him to come to your house after work but seriously Harry is just as amazing as Liam, he’s not my type though, but you know he’s perfect for you.” 

Zayn ignores Louis and goes back to looking out the window.

“Z, you know as much as I do that you deserve to find someone and for some reason despite your rude behavior he keeps coming back and he’s more in love with Niall than he is with you.”

Zayn looks at Louis with his eyes narrowing. “You don’t know any of this. He’s good company but he’s not my boyfriend, we’re just friends.”

~~

The first thing Liam says when he’s fully entered the apartment throws Zayn off entirely. 

“I didn’t tell Harry I was coming here.” And when Zayn’s expression turns confused he presses on, “Um, Louis said you two were an item. Harry didn’t mention anything but I didn’t want him upset if he wasn’t invited so I didn’t say where I was going when he asked.” Liam looks at Zayn and starts chewing on his lip, hoping that he did the right thing. 

Zayn turns and stares daggers into Louis’ head, who merely smiles, blowing a kiss at Liam and goes back to helping Niall with their Lego construction.

“I am not dating Harry. Please stop listening to your irrationally boyfriend. Who by the way has a strange fascination about sex with Harry. You should ask him about that.”

Liam pauses and looks at Louis with his eyebrows raise who merely shrugs. “It’s nothing, babe. Besides you’re the only one for me.” Louis adds an over the top wink which Niall copies. 

Liam shakes his head before bending down to kiss both Niall and Louis on the head before sitting down on one of the chairs. “I’m not worried because Harry seems to be pretty infatuated with you.”

At the mention of Harry’s name Niall perks up. “Where Harry?” He looks around the room and settles his gaze on his father. “Baba, where Harry? Harry play?”

Zayn sighs and shakes his head. “Thanks guys,” he says before turning his attention to Niall. “No, sweetie, he’s not coming to play. Not right now anyway.”

Niall frowns and turns to look at Louis. “Like Harry.”

Louis grins. “Me too. Do you think Baba should like Harry too?”

Niall nods and carefully places the next Lego on top of the other. “Yes. Baba like Harry.”

Louis turns his head around so he can look at Zayn with a smug expression on his face. “See even Niall thinks Harry is perfect.”

Zayn rolls his eyes and ignores Louis and turns back towards Liam. “Your boyfriend needs to see someone. He’s getting out of hand.”

“Yeah sometimes he gets a bit, what’s the word…excited?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s a good word. How’s work? I haven’t heard anything about Ed’s new album.”

“It’s coming along good actually. In a few weeks, month maybe, we’re having a sort of end of album just before release part of sorts. Everyone who has worked on the album is coming and I know that Ed’s invited a bunch of his friends. You’ll probably get the invite soon enough.”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to find someone to watch Niall. Don’t really feel too comfortable with him around a bunch of people drinking alcohol.”

Zaym sits back and watches thoughtfully as Louis gets angry and scatters the Legos across the living room floor while Niall giggles freely before he begins to pick up the pieces of Louis’ mess.

~~

Later that night when Zayn is lying in bed after putting Niall to sleep does his phone begin to chirp. He rolls over and grabs it off the side table. He’s a bit surprised to see that Harry’s name is flashing across his screen. 

He slides his finger across the screen to unlock the phone and opens the message, _hey, are you sleeping?_

Zayn quickly taps out a reply, **nope lying in bed.**

_Yeah? Are you sure I didn’t wake you? We can talk another time._

**Harry, honestly. I wasn’t sleeping. What is it you wanted?**

_Just thinking about you, wanted to talk to you._

Zayn feels a small smile spread across his face as his stomach churns: he can feel the fluttering and tingling sensation caused by Harry’s words begin to spread throughout his body. He rolls over adjusting the pillows to allow better comfort, **yeah? What about?**

_Louis tells me we’re boyfriends. ___

__**Don’t listen to him. He’s delusional. ******_ _

__****_He seemed to think me coming over the other night was a date._ ** ** _ _

__******When did you talk to him?** ** ** _ _

__****_Showed up at work the other day and spent the entire day in Liam’s lap trying to get him to kiss him instead of working. When Liam wouldn’t comply he followed me around asking questions about you._ ** ** _ _

__******How embarrassing.** ** ** _ _

__****_Don’t be embarrassed, I kind of like talking about you._ ** ** _ _

__******Yeah, Liam hinted at that.** ** ** _ _

__****_Oh god, what did he say?_ ** ** _ _

__******Something about you being infatuated with me.** ** ** _ _

__****_It’s hard not to be._ ** ** _ _

__******Yeah maybe, but Harry it’s getting late and Niall wakes me up right as the sun comes up. I should be going to sleep.** ** ** _ _

__****_Okay, but can I ask you something first?_ ** ** _ _

__******Sure.** ** ** _ _

__****_Tomorrow night, would want to go to dinner with me? Just you and me, kind of like a date? You know those things Louis keeps mentioning._ ** ** _ _

__****Zayn thinks about it for a moment, and smiles before replying, **yeah I guess that could work out.**** ** _ _

__****_Really?! I’ll pick you up at 7!!_ ** ** _ _


	8. Chapter 8

Zayn watches as Louis rummages through his small closet, throwing clothes at him that he think could work. When he spots something he truly hates he peaks out of the closet and shakes his head at Zayn before going back to Zayn’s clothes. He’s trying to find the perfect outfit for Zayn and Harry’s date tonight. When Zayn had insisted that he could dress himself Louis simply shoved him out of the way and told him to never again lie to his face. 

Liam lay sprawled out next to Zayn on the bed, flipping through a magazine, and ignoring what was going on around him. Zayn is leaning against the headboard as he waits for Louis to tell him that he found something presentable, and for every outfit he throws out of the closet Niall is there to pick it up and gently place it his father’s bed. 

“Uncle Lou clean?”

Louis pokes his head out and watches as Niall takes the jeans he had just thrown out and lays them at the foot of the bed. “No, we’re not cleaning. We’re trying to find Baba something to wear.”

Niall looks at Zayn before glancing at the clothes he put on the bed. “Baba clothes.”

Zayn smiles and pats the spot next to him and waits for Niall to crawl on top of the bed. He places himself next to Zayn and ignores the shirt that Louis tosses out onto the floor. “Louis is just making a mess, and he wants to play dress up.”

Niall turns his up as he crawls across Zayn’s legs and lays out across Liam’s chest. “Dress up girls.”

“I heart that,” Louis shouts and Niall giggles at the sound of it. Louis retreats from the closet carrying a pair of black jeans with a plain white shirt. He tosses them at Zayn before holding up a dark brown leather jacket and wiggling his eyebrows. “This will be perfect. Now go and put it on.”

Zayn stands up and grabs the jacket from Louis before making his way into the bathroom. He strips down before putting on the clothes that Louis has given him and checks himself out in the mirror. He sighs as he smoothes the shirt out and slides the jacket up over his arms. He stands in the mirror and looks at himself once more before he slowly makes his way out. “Well, how do I look?”

Louis looks at him slowly as he walks around him in a circle. He smiles and nods. “Perfect! Liam doesn’t he look amazing?” Liam rolls over and glances at Zayn before nodding and going back to his magazine. Louis huffs out a breath, clearly not appreciating Liam’s blatant indifference to what it was Zayn was wearing. “Niall how does Baba look?”

Niall looks Zayn up and down before saying, “Like Baba.”

Zayn smiles. “I look like Baba?”

Niall nods and holds his arms out for Zayn who reaches down and picks him up. He gently rocks him in his arms and presses kisses across his face. “So I guess this is the outfit. Harry should be here any minute.”

As soon as the words are out of his mouth they hear the sound of someone knocking on the door followed by the sound of their buzzer. Zayn freezes with Niall in his arms and flashes a panicked expression at Louis and Liam. “He’s here. Crap, crap, crap, what do I do?”

Niall answers for them. “Answer door.”

Zayn smiles and presses a kiss to Niall’s cheek. “You’re right, babe. Liam, take him and answer the door.” He passes Niall over to Liam and waits until they’re out of the room before he turns to Louis. “Holy shit, if you don’t give me actual advice right now I’m going to tell Liam about the time in college you made out with our English professor.”

Louis smiles and presses a reassuring hand on Zayn’s shoulder. “Just breathe, all right? I promise it’ll be okay. Harry likes you, he actually likes you and I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that you like him as well. Just breathe.”

“Do you know the last time I went on a date?”

“Yeah I think the results of it are in your living room probably climbing on your new date.”

Zayn snorts with laughter. “Yeah and look and what I got out of that date." 

Louis grabs onto Zayn and forces him to look into his eyes. “Zayn that last time you went on a date resulted in the creation of the single most important thing in your life. And now you’re going out again, and who knows where this will lead but you need to relax and just let what happens, happen. Don’t over think just do, alright?”

Zayn nods and pulls Louis into a hug. “ Thanks. Now, let’s go save Harry before Niall does something crazy. He’s been spending way too much time with you.”

Zayn enters the living room and sees Harry sitting in the chair, wearing dark jeans and a faded Pink Floyd shirt with Niall in his lap, listening intently as Niall tells him about the day he’s had which therefore blows Zayn’s cover about having Louis pick out his outfit. Harry glances up when he notices Zayn’s presence and gives him a once over followed by a quick wink before turning his attention back to Niall. 

Zayn doesn’t want to interrupt their conversation but the longer his son talks the more his anticipation and nerves begin to grow. Fortunately Louis has other plans. “Okay sport, time for Baba and Harry to go out and you get to spend time with me and Uncle Li.” Louis bends down to pick Niall up and turns so he can drop him in Liam’s lap. He shoves Harry out of the chair and towards Zayn. “Okay love birds, off you go. Out the door, have fun, don’t come back too early. Out the door, come on.” 

Zayn stops and grabs onto Louis’ arm. “Lou, I’m not leaving without saying goodbye to Niall.” Louis steps back and rolls his eyes. Zayn walks over towards Liam and picks Niall up off his lap. “Baba is going out with Harry and you’re going to stay here with Uncle Louis and Uncle Liam, but I’ll be back when you’re sleeping. Do you remember what I said earlier?”

Niall nods obediently. “Baba dinner. Harry be out. Niall stay. Niall call Baba.” Niall smiles at Zayn in hopes that the information was satisfactory.

“Yes, exactly even if you just want to ask a question or miss me and want to talk for a few minutes, you call me. Okay? Don’t let Uncle Lou tell you that you can’t,” He finishes his sentence with a glance towards Liam to make sure that he understands as well. Zayn sighs and presses a kiss to Niall’s head. “Okay baby, now listen to Uncle Li.”

Niall nods and puckers his lips to kiss Zayn before climbing down and hugging Harry’s leg. “Bye Baba. Bye Harry.”

~~ 

They arrive at the restaurant, a small place with an upbeat atmosphere, and Zayn is surprised that Harry pulls the door open for him and guides him inside with a gentle hand placed against the small of Zayn’s back. Harry tells the maitre d his name, which means that he had made a reservation and it makes Zayn smile to know that Harry had gone to such trouble for their date. When they get to their table Harry pulls Zayn’s chair out for him before sitting down in his own.

Zayn glances around trying his best to take in his surroundings. The restaurant is louder than most he’s been to with tables pushed close together and a bar in the back with two televisions placed on the corners to play different sporting events. Zayn’s eyes finally land on Harry who is smiling widely at him. “This is nice.”

Harry nods and opens up the menu placed in front of him. “I come here a lot. I wasn’t sure what kind of place you’d want to go.”

“Honestly, most places I go to are the diner or a place that is flooded with children. Niall doesn’t like a lot of places especially ones without crayons or play centers.”

Harry bites back a laugh but smiles softly. “Niall is great.”

“Yeah he is. He can be a bit much, but usually only after he spends time with Louis. He’s kind of teaching him how to rebel against me already.”

“Yeah Louis kind of teaches everyone to rebel, look at what he’s done to Liam.”

Zayn laughs light heartedly. “Yeah. The first time I met Liam he looked like a lost animal he was so scared Louis was going to end up in jail and the first time Louis tried to kiss him in public he panicked but now Louis has him wrapped around his finger.”

“We’ll see how long it takes to get you around my finger.” Harry says with a wink that causes Zayn to blush and lower his head to glance around his menu.

~~ 

“So,” Zayn starts as he takes a sip of his drink. “Liam says that you moved here a month ago. Job transfer? Or?”

“Not much of a music scene at home.” Harry shrugs and takes another bite out of his meal. “I didn’t see the point in staying. So I packed my bags and left.”

Zayn frowns. “Don’t you miss your family?”

Harry continues eating his meal in order to prolong the need to answer Zayn’s question and when Zayn’s inquisitive stares become too much he lets out a long sigh. “My parents are dead. My sister is all I have. She lives here with her husband but they’re going to be moving soon. But moving wasn’t a hard decision.”

“Oh. I didn’t-I’m sorry to hear that.”

Harry shrugs. “It’s okay. It was 5 years ago. I’ve had enough time to move on from it. Besides there are little perks about living here.” He smirks when he noticed the blush creeping across Zayn’s cheeks, satisfied that he had gotten a reaction out of the other boy. “What about you? Is your family around?”

“It’s just me and my mother. No siblings. My father died a couple months ago. We’ve always lived here. Well not always we used to live on the other side of town but close enough. So all I’ve got is my mom and Niall.”

~~ 

It’s near closing time and they have long finished their meals when Zayn’s phone goes off signaling he has a message. He apologizes to Harry before quickly opening his phone and seeing it was from Louis: Your boy is passed out! Everything went great, small mess but Liam is cleaning it up. Just thought I’d update because I know you’re thinking about him! 

Zayn smiles and quickly types out a reply. 

“Everything all right?” 

Zayn looks up at Harry, nodding quickly and showing him the image that Louis had sent before pocketing his phone. 

“He’s really cute.”

“Thanks. He’s probably the most beautiful child I’ve ever seen but I could be biased.”

Harry pauses and looks at Zayn thoughtfully. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I don’t want to sound rude but um where is Niall’s mom? I mean I’ve never heard anyone mention her and he looks nothing like you.”

Zayn takes a careful sip of his water and tries to figure out the best way to answer this question. “I met Niall’s mom, Amber, a few years before he was born. We just knew each other from around and then Ed pushed me into asking her out and I did and we both got ridiculously drunk and one thing led to another and four months later she told me she was pregnant. I didn’t really question if the baby was mine or not obviously I had doubts when he was born. I mean he’s a pale baby with bright blue eyes and his hair changes from brunette to blonde and he looks absolutely nothing like me but he’s mine. And I don’t actually care what his genetics say because I’m his father from the day he was born and nothing will change that.” Zayn pauses and tries to gauge Harry’s reaction.

“I’m guessing she left?”

Zayn nods. “Two months after he was born she kind of decided she didn’t want to do it anymore or something like that. I’m not really sure. She had told me she was going on a family vacation, and obviously I agreed to watch Niall but when three weeks went by and she wasn’t back I showed up at her house and she moved out of the country apparently or at least that’s what she told her neighbor. A year and a half later I haven’t heard from her or anything about her.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be sorry. Niall and I are very happy. Feel sorry for her. She’s missing out on the most amazing child.”

Harry nods and sends Zayn a smile. “Want to get out of here?”

“Yes,” Zayn says as he gets up and slips on his leather jacket before following Harry out of the restaurant. They make it outside and Harry carefully slips his fingers in between Zayn’s, intertwining them together in a vice grip as they make their way down the street. Zayn sighs in contentment as he carefully leans his body against Harry’s frame as they walk.

“You know Harry, this wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.”

“Yeah, so you want to do it again?” 

Zayn nods and tightens his grip on Harry’s hand.


	9. Chapter 9

It’s three in the morning and Zayn can hear Niall crying and screaming for him. He throws the blankets off his body and quickly rushes out of his room, careful not to step on Niall’s toys that are littering the hallway thanks to Louis being too lazy to clean them up that night, as he makes his way across the hallway towards Niall’s room. He opens Niall’s bedroom door and is immediately met with the heartbreaking sight of Niall sitting in his bed with his head tilted up, screaming with big, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. When he spots his father he lets out a quiet whimper and holds his arms in the air to tell Zayn that he wants to be picked up.

Zayn quickly scoops Niall into his arms, supporting his bottom with one hand and rubbing gentle circles along his back with the other. He subtly rocks him from side to side and says, “shh Ni, you’re okay what happened?”

Niall shakes his head, sticking it further into Zayn’s neck and when their skin makes contact he frowns. “Niall, you’re burning up, do you feel sick?” Niall ignores him and continues to whimper into his fathers skin, “sweetie you have to talk to me. Do you want to tell me what’s the matter so Baba can fix it?”

“Ickies.” He hears Niall murmur and he quickly carries the boy into the bathroom to begin drawing a bath.

“I’m going to start the tub and we’re going to get you all cleaned up and feeling better. Your skin is so hot, sweetie.” 

Niall nods, rubbing his sweating forehead against Zayn’s shoulder.

“Baba, Baba,” Niall whines when Zayn sets him on the ground and begins carefully stripping him of his clothes, murmuring reassurances as he gently lifts him into the tub. Niall goes in without complaints and leans his body against the side of the tub so his head is near Zayn’s arm.

"Baby, what happened last night? Did you eat something funny?” Niall shakes his head. “Can you tell Baba what hurts?”

“Head, tummy. Baba, cuddle.” Niall lifts his arms in the air, showing Zayn that he is done with his bath. Zayn nods and quickly runs the damp cloth over his son’s body in an attempt to cool him down. When he is satisfied with what he has done, he unplugs the stopper to let the few inches of water drain out.

He carries Niall into his room and puts him in a new diaper and one of his old shirts that will definitely be too big but it would cover his body loosely to prevent heat from getting trapped if his suspected fever keeps up. 

He gently lays Niall down on his bed and makes his way into the kitchen. He searches through the cabinets until he finds the children’s medicine and quickly fills a sippy cup with water before making his way back into his bedroom.

“Here sweetie, I need you to take this it’ll make everything feel better,” He says as he passes the medicine through Niall’s lips before quickly replacing it with the water. Niall drinks the water with ease, rolling into Zayn’s side and clutching his shirt.

~~ 

The next morning Niall’s fever is gone and he is slowly progressing back into himself. Zayn doesn’t want to ignore what had happened just a few short hours ago because if Niall is sick then he has to stay at home with him until he feels better. 

Earlier in the morning he had sent a text to Louis explaining that he couldn’t make it into work, he understood and promised to stop by later in the evening to make sure that Niall is doing okay.

So when there is a knock on his door he isn’t surprised however he is surprised to see Harry standing there with a bashful smile and arm full of goodies. 

“Harry, what are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you, now really isn’t a good time I’m sorry,” Zayn says as he runs his hands through his hair and widens the door opening so Harry can step inside.

“Yeah sorry. Um, I heard little man was sick so I brought some stuff over. I hope that’s not too forward,” Harry says as he holds up his arms to show the bags attached to his hands.

Zayn’s mouth drops open. “You brought things for Niall? How did you even know?”

“Louis called Liam and said Niall was sick and I only had a half day at work and I figured I’d come and see what I could do to help. I figured Louis might be too much for Niall to handle so…” Harry trails off, shrugging his shoulders and looking a bit awkward for showing up without informing Zayn.

“No, no, please that’s so wonderful. He’s feeling a bit better but he’s a little clingy and whiny but it shouldn’t last very long. He’ll be happy to see you. He’s a tad angry with me for not letting him play. I’ll go and get him you can, uh, sit down or I don’t know. Yeah, I’ll be back.”

Zayn hurriedly makes his way back into his room where Niall is laying sprawled out across the blankets with his thumb in his mouth and the other hand gripping his bear.

“Ni someone is here to see you.” 

He gently picks Niall up, careful of his stomach, which he was still complaining about, and begins making his way back into the living room.

“Uncle Lou?”

“No, Harry came by. He brought stuff for you to try and make you better.” 

Niall perks up at Harry’s name, lifting his head off Zayn’s shoulder, smiling widely when he sees Harry sat on the couch but he makes no moves to reach out towards him. He’s happy to see Harry but he seeks the comfort that only his father can provide.

Harry smiles a soft smile and gently reaches his hand out so he can brush it against Niall’s knee when Zayn sits down next to him. 

“I brought some stuff over for you,” Harry says to Niall. 

“Presents?” Niall asks as his eyes light up at the thought of receiving gifts. 

“Kind of. I actually make some homemade soup. I went back to my house and cooked it up quickly because the stuff in the cans isn’t very good for you and I figured the both of you could use something hearty.”

Niall turns his nose up and sticks his tongue out. “Not good. Soup hot.”

“Niall we’ll cool it down for you baby.” Zayn smiles in awe of Harry directing his next sentence for him, “you’re absolutely wonderful.” He leans over and presses a soft kiss to Harry’s cheek.

A blush creeps its way up Harry’s cheeks but he quickly recovers and opens his other bag. “I also brought, it’s really stupid, but I just thought maybe he would like it.” Harry pulls out a small stuffed lion from his bag and passes it over to Niall who takes it from Harry and smiles in amazement. 

“Baba, Baba, look,” Niall shouts as he waves the lion around in Zayn’s face before pressing it to his chest and rubbing the fur against his cheek. “Thank Harry.”

“That’s wonderful you didn’t have to do that. It actually goes perfectly with his blanket. It has a small lion picture in the corner.”

Harry shrugs. “I just wanted to help.”

~~ 

After the soup has been eaten Niall begins to get whiny again, forgetting about his upbeat mood he had developed after getting his lion because now he’s cranky and tired. He’s lying down, slumped against Zayn’s chest, playing with the fabric of his shirt as he tries desperately to keep his eyes open. 

“Niall, come on. I think it’s bedtime.”

Niall shakes his head and grabs on tighter to Zayn. “No, Baba, cuddle. Niall cuddle.”

Zayn sighs. “All right, we’ll cuddle but you need to sleep.”

Harry pats Zayn’s shoulder and rises from the couch, making his way towards the door when a small voice stops him. 

“Harry, no go. Cudlle,” Niall demands as he looks at Harry with wide eyes and a quivering lip. “No go.”

Harry looks at Zayn, who shrugs his shoulders and lies back onto the couch with Niall against his chest and begins rubbing his back. “Babe, Harry has to go. It’s time for bed.”

“No, stay. Harry cuddle. Baba, Harry stay,” Niall whines with a shaky lip as tears begin to roll down his cheeks from frustration that Harry isn’t participating in the cuddle that’s taking place. 

Zayn looks at Harry, his expression pleading with him. 

“I could stay. Is that all right, Zayn?” Zayn nods and watches as Harry toes off his shoes and internally struggles with what he should do next before carefully slipping onto the edge of the couch, lying next to Zayn with Niall sprawled out on top of their chests. He wraps an arm around Niall and rests his hand on Zayn’s chest. “Is this all right?”

“Cuddle,” Niall says before sticking his thumb in his mouth and slowly closing his eyes in contentment. 

“I’m sorry. I told you he was clingy, once he falls asleep you can probably sneak out. He just gets a bit desperate when he’s not feeling well.”

“It’s alright, I’m quite happy like this.” Harry winks and wiggles around, slotting his legs in between Zayn’s.

Zayn smiles and moves his head onto Harry’s shoulder. “You’re a cocky one, Styles.”

“I do what I can. Can I ask you something?”

“Hmm,” Zayn hums as his eyes fall closed, basking in the warmth that Harry has provided him; not only his exterior but deep inside his chest that’s slowly spreading inside of him because he can’t help but feel like Harry has lit a fire inside of him.

The comfortable silence is broken when Harry says, “Why does Niall call you Baba? Why not Dada or Daddy or Papa?”

“When my grandfather was alive we always called him Baba and for some reason Niall decided that was the name he wanted to use for me. I’ve tried getting him to say Daddy or Dada but so far he doesn’t seem to like it very much. He keeps using Baba and when I used to try and correct him he would get upset with me.”

Harry nods and wraps his other arm securely around Zayn so he can rub patterns into his skin. “I like Baba, it’s unique like you.”

“Yeah it’s kind of stuck. I think now I’d be upset if he decided to change it,” Zayn pauses and opens his eyes slowly so he can see Harry again. “I’m glad you stopped by Harry, it meant a lot to Niall and me.”

Harry nods. “I’m glad I came by too. This is one of the best second dates I’ve ever had.”

Zayn snorts, trying to keep his laughter from waking up the sleeping boy lying on top of him. “You call this a date?”

“Yup, and so far I’m liking the way it’s turning out for me,” Harry says as he leans forward to press a kiss to Zayn’s forehead and then a second on top of Niall’s. “ I really like you Zayn. And your son, he’s wonderful. I adore Niall.”

Zayn smiles, stretching his arm out so it’s extended past Niall and curled around Harry’s ribcage. “I think the feelings might be mutual.”

Harry tightens his grip on Zayn and Niall as the three of them slowly slip into a blissful sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

“When was the last time you saw Harry?” Louis asks, adjusting his position in the booth where he and Zayn are sat eating their lunch quickly during their break.

Zayn finishes chewing his fry before replying, “Think about a week or so. He came over when Niall was sick and we’ve been texting, although he has called a couple times. Why?”

“Liam and I were wanting to go on a date and I thought it was would be so cute if you two came along.”

“As your chaperones or…?”

Louis tosses a fry at Zayn, throwing it perfectly so it lodges itself in Zayn’s hair. Louis laughs at Zayn’s facial expression when he reaches up to remove the offending food from his hair. “I meant like a double date kind of thing.”

Zayn pauses his eating to look at Louis, fixing him with a look. “I don’t know if we’re ready for that. We’ve only been out the once and we still don’t know each other that well and I’m not even sure it’s really a thing.”

“Oh shut up. I already know you spend all your free time talking to him when Niall is asleep or when you have your phone shoved under the counter trying to hide it from customers.” Zayn blushes hearing Louis’ words, and takes a massive sip of his milkshake trying to help reduce the heat he feels in his cheeks, “your school boy blushing tells me that I’m right.”

Zayn sighs, finishing off the remainder of his burger before he answers Louis. “I’ll talk to Harry, I guess, and see what he thinks.”

“That won’t be necessary, I already told Harry you agreed. Or, well, I told Liam and he told Harry.” Zayn glares at Louis who simply sits there with a smirk on his face. “Don’t give me that look, Malik. We both know you’re crazy about Curly. Besides if things go wrong you can take Liam and I’ll take your man out. I hear his abs are to die for.”

“What would you know about his abs? And anyway, is Liam even remotely worried with your fascination with Harry or does he just let you do whatever you want?”

Louis waves him off. “Honestly, Liam has nothing to worry about. He knows that. Well, maybe not, but when he starts to freak out I just suck him off and he forgets.” He pauses, taking a sip of his drink. “And Liam and Harry work out together, something about needing help when they’re doing those weight lifting things. They shower together afterwards, too.” He wiggles an eyebrow, popping a fry in his mouth.

Zayn stops chewing and looks at Louis incredulously, mouth hung open. “What do you mean they shower together?” He asks, attempting to keep his cool, but he thinks that the squeak at the end of his sentence gives him away.

Louis smiles mischievously at the look on Zayn’s face. “They shower together. Gym has a changing room, they strip naked then walk to the showers, clean themselves then get dressed and leave. If anything we should be worried about what Liam is doing to young Hazza.”

“Hazza?”

“Yeah the nickname I gave Harry.”

Zayn slouches back in his seat. “You haven’t even given me a nickname and we’ve known each other for ages.”

“I only give them to people I really love.” Zayn rolls his eyes and turns his attention towards outside of the diner at the people making their way down the street. “Oh don’t act like someone stole your dog. Your name is impossible for nicknames. So are you coming on this date or not?”

“When is it?”

“Tomorrow night.”

~~~  
Their double date doesn’t turn out to be anything other than going over to Louis’ apartment, which is in such a tattered state that Liam spent the first half hour cleaning it, throwing all of Louis’ clothes into a pile in his bedroom.

Louis had also tried to cook dinner, but it comes out black and charred, making it the perfect opportunity to order a pizza and drink beers from his fridge, only he doesn’t have any beers so he rips the labels off a couple bottled sodas and says they’ll make due.

Zayn finds himself acutely, yet painfully aware of how close Harry has been to him throughout the night. How when they greeted each other Harry left a kiss on his cheek and nuzzled his face into Zayn’s collarbone for a brief second. Or, when they discovered that Louis had managed to burn spaghetti they had clutched onto each other laughing, because he cooks for a living but can’t manage to cook in his own home while Liam kissed the pout off of Louis’ lips. But when Harry drags his hand down Zayn’s arm and hooks their pinkies together he catches himself freezing up. No longer finding humor in the misfortunes of his friend, no instead he finds himself locking eyes with the taller boy in front of him, scanning his face for any indication of what is happening.

~~~

Zayn watches as Louis crawls into Liam’s lap, taking up the majority of the couch with his legs outstretched in front of him, playing with the collar of Liam’s shirt, mumbling words quietly to him, no doubt things that would cause Zayn’s cheeks to flare up red. But Louis stops his actions, turns to glance around the room where Zayn is sat leaning against Harry, texting his mother about Niall.

“Are you two always this boring on dates? No wonder you’ve only been out the once. I am absolutely bored out of my mind.” Louis says, throwing his head back onto the couch so he’s properly laying down, letting a groan slip through his lips.

Zayn glances up from his phone, rolls his eyes at Louis. “Mate, you’re bored because Liam won’t let you attach yourself to his neck or wherever else you want it.”

“And we’ve only had two dates before this one,” Harry adds, a small smile on his lips as he looks at Zayn.

Louis rises up when he hears it, sliding his body off of Liam and glaring at his friend. “You told me one day, one. Why did you lie?” He turns his head towards Harry and adds, ”What was the second date? I demand to know.”

Zayn shakes his head. “That was not a date, Harry.”

Louis throws his hand up. “Oh shut up, Malik. I want to hear this.”

“When Niall was sick, I spent the day with them at their apartment. Nothing big really,” Harry says, shrugging his shoulders, leaning forward to reach for his drink. “But it ended nicely.”

“You had sex and didn’t tell me? Zayn, we’re supposed to be best friends,” Louis says, turning his head to pout at Liam. “They had sex and didn’t tell me, tell them that’s not nice.”

Liam smiles at Louis. “Actually, they didn’t have sex. From what I’ve heard.”

“What do you mean what you’ve heard?” Louis asks, shoot his head away from Liam to glare at both Zayn and Harry. When Zayn’s expression looks just as lost and confused as his own, he knows it has to do with Harry.

“I might have mentioned a few things to Liam at work about it. Didn’t really go into any details,” Harry says, turning his attention towards Zayn. “I swear I didn’t tell him much of anything, just a few things. Is that alright?”

Zayn nods, pressing back into Harry. “Doesn’t really matter, it’s over and done with. Still don’t think it was a date.”

“Why not?” Harry asks, frowning.

“Probably because we spent the afternoon entertaining a toddler with a stomach ache.”

Louis snorts, rolling his eyes. “You’re the most boring couple I have ever met. Ed has a better love life than you two, and all he does is sit at home with a notebook and his guitar.”

“Lou, love, what do you think we should do then since you’re so upset about their lives? And I don’t think they’re actually a couple yet,” Liam says, pausing to confirm with Harry and Zayn, both of which nod their heads in agreement. Liam runs a hand up and down Louis’ thigh, trying to get him to relax. “See, they’re not a couple. They’re allowed to be boring.”

“I don’t know, I don’t care,” Louis says, crossing his arms over his chest before his face lights up. “I know the perfect thing. We’ll play a little game to get to know each other, hmm? I think it’ll be fun. Harry here has been too quiet about himself and I need to know more.”

“Why exactly do you need to know anything? Zayn asks, eyeing Louis, knowing that this game would take a turn for the worst if Louis has his way.

“Your boyfriend isn’t open enough, we’re open people and I can’t be certain he won’t lure you into some sex trap somewhere and then abandon you,” Louis says.

“Um, I can promise that I don’t have any kind of sex trap thing,” Harry says.

Louis shakes his head. “Nonsense, don’t be silly. Man like you, it’d be a crime if you didn’t. Anyway I get to ask the questions because I came up with the idea.” He holds his hand up to his chin, rubbing it and trying to make it seem like he’s deep in thought. “How old are you?”

“24. I thought you knew that?”

Louis hushes Harry. “I said I was asking the questions, now let’s see...why did you move here?”

Before Harry can answer Zayn speaks up, “because the music world back home was shit, and he knew this was the only place that could help him broaden his career. You already know all of this. Can we watch a movie or something? Honestly Lou, you can spend the entire time with your face attached to Liam for all I care but I can’t sit here and listen to 20 questions.”

Louis glares at Zayn for a moment before he turns to Liam. “See positively boring. I can hardly handle it. If it wasn’t for me this whole date would be shit.”

“Actually if you could have cooked dinner right or had us go out like proper people you wouldn’t think this date was so bad.” Zayn says, smirking at Louis who gently tosses a pillow at him while a pout threatens to spill across his features. “Oh lighten up Lou, we’ll watch a movie and you’ll forget this ever happened.”

~~~

Harry and Zayn decide to leave Louis’ apartment once Louis tries sticking his hands down Liam’s pants. Zayn apologizes profusely for Louis behavior and promises Harry they will not be going back out with them until Louis relieved his sexual tension.

Harry smirks at him when he says it. “Are you saying you want to go out with me again, Zayn?”

Zayn rolls his eyes, bumping his shoulder against Harry’s. “I never said that. I just said that we would not be going out near Louis if he’s going to act like that.”

“You should see him when he visits Liam at work. I don’t understand why they’re like that.”

Zayn sighs, waving his hand around in the air. “Liam won’t have sex with him or something like that. Not my business, but Louis talks.”

Harry nods his head, accepting the information but not making any further comments on the matter.

When they reach Zayn’s apartment door, Zayn stops, fumbling with his keys, dancing them between his fingers as he attempts to locate the right one for the lock. When he finally gets the key in the slot, he begins to push the door open but is stopped when Harry reaches out and grabs onto his wrist.

Before Zayn can open his mouth to ask what’s going on, Harry has both hands clasped on either side of Zayn’s face, holding it firmly in his hands. He stands there, momentarily just staring into Zayn’s eyes. Zayn can’t help but notice the small traces of grey that float across Harry’s green irises as Harry slowly leans forward, stopping when his mouth is centimeters away from Zayn’s.

“I’m going to kiss you,” Harry says, his breath ghosting across Zayn’s lips.

Zayn swallows, looking down at Harry’s lips before slowly bringing his eyes back up towards Harry’s. He carefully takes both of his hands and places them on Harry’s arm, the other boy still looking at him as he gauges Zayn’s face for any signs of hesitancy before he leans forward, capturing their lips together.

It’s slow and hesitant at first, slow movements of their lips until Harry pushes his hands further back into Zayn’s hair, carefully gripping it as their mouths move together in a perfect rhythm. Zayn holds tightly onto Harry’s arms before sliding them down and grabbing onto his shirt to try and keep from floating away. He feels like he’s walking on clouds, feels his head spinning as they kiss. 

He continues kissing Harry until he feels himself losing oxygen and when the spinning in his head becomes too much, pulling away but keeping his forehead pressed against Harry’s, letting their breath fuse together.

Harry smiles at him, rubbing his knuckles along Zayn’s cheek. “I’ve been dying to do that.”

Zayn’s mind is still fuzzy, can barely focus on what Harry is saying to him, his brain tuning in to the pounding of his heart, beating in a mantra that sounds like HarryHarryHarry. He can feel the panic rising up his chest at the way time stopped when he and Harry kissed, losing himself in the action of it, focusing solely on how if he could anything until the end of time it would kissing the other boy.

Harry notices Zayn’s refusal to talk and presses on, “Tomorrow night is the work party, or well, Ed’s release party I should say. Are you still coming?” Zayn nods. “It’s going to be a bit formal though, much to Ed’s dismay. You’ll need a suit and tie, or at least a suit the tie can be optional. Is that alright?”

Zayn nods again. “Yeah. I should go inside. My mother probably wants to go home.”

Harry nods, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to Zayn’s lips. “See you tomorrow.”


	11. Chapter 11

Zayn watches Louis run a nervous hand through his hair, trying to style it into its normal windswept look. Zayn watches as the hand trembles, causing him to drop the hair gel onto the bathroom floor, muttering curses under his breath. Zayn turns his eyes away from Louis and begins to dress Niall. He carefully slides on a pair of brown pants, buttoning them after he pushes Niall’s little white button down into them, tucking the shirt in. He grabs a small clip on tie, attaching it to the shirt collar before he pulls a tan sweater over the enter ensemble. He adjusts Niall’s clothes, smiling softly at him before he leans up to kiss his head. “All right, you’re all dressed. Now remember, you can’t get dirty. Promise me you won’t get dirty.”

“Promise,” Niall says, turning around and making his way across the room. He pulls himself up onto Zayn’s bed, smiling up at Zayn after he’s sat down. “I wait. Niall wait.”

Zayn smiles at him, mutters, “good boy,” before he makes his way into the bathroom to help his distressed friend. “Lou, is everything all right?” 

Louis turns around, huffing and folding his arms over his chest. “I’m nervous about seeing Liam.”

Zayn eyes him warily, trying to figure out why, but before he can question anything, Louis continues. “We finally had sex last night. I’m worried. He was freaking out about it, but I convinced him we were ready, because I couldn’t wait any longer, he’s so fit.” Louis bends over, slipping on a pair of pale blue dress pants. “And not to mention, this morning he wasn’t even there when I woke up.” 

Zayn holds his hand up, interrupting Louis. “What do you mean he wasn’t there? He just left you there? After you had sex? Liam?” 

Louis pouts at him, buttoning up his navy-blue dress shirt, using every button up to the very top. He pulls a pair of light blue suspenders over his shoulders before he sits down onto the toilet lid, pulling his leg up to roll his pant leg up a few inches. “He didn’t leave just because he freaked out. He had to work this morning and since I didn’t he let me sleep in. All I had was a note saying he’d see me tonight and he’d meet me there, so I won’t even know until tonight if it’s awkward or he hates me for making him have sex with me.”

Zayn smiles softly, stepping forward to place his hand gently on Louis’ shoulder. “Listen, Louis. Honestly, you’re probably just overreacting. Liam isn’t the type of guy to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he’s very good at telling you no. So. You need to take a deep breath and calm down, yeah?” 

Louis inhales deeply, taking the breath Zayn told him to, and puts his shoes on. “Thanks, Zayn. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Standing up and pulling Zayn into a hug, he sighs. “Now, come on, we need to pick out your outfit for tonight.” He brushes past Zayn and walks into his bedroom, pulling open dresser drawers and tossing clean boxers and black dress socks on the bed before making his way into the closet. 

Zayn walks out after him and collapses on the bed, pulling Niall on top of him. “Your Uncle Lou is crazy.” 

Niall smiles at him and says, “Coo coo Lou.”

Zayn laughs, throwing his head back before he leans forward to blow a raspberry on Niall’s cheek. “Exactly. Coo coo Lou.” 

Louis immerges from out of the closet, holding a simple black suit and a white shirt. He tosses them at Zayn and takes Niall, pulling him into his arms and sitting down on the bed. He folds his legs under him and watches as Zayn goes to get dressed in the bathroom. He doesn’t bother shutting the door, leaving it open as he dresses. 

“I can’t believe you’re bringing Niall to this. He’s a bit young for a business dinner party, don’t you think?” 

“My mom went out of town and my neighbor is sick, not like I’d really want them watching him all night. My only other babysitters are you and Liam, and you’ll both be there. I promised everyone that I’d go tonight, so if you want me there, then that means Niall is coming.”

He glances up to see Louis looking at Niall who is picking up the mess that Louis made trying to get Zayn’s outfit together. 

“Are you excited about going out tonight, Niall?” Louis asks. 

Niall nods his head obediently. “Baba go. Uncle Li go. Uncle Ed. Harry. Niall like Harry.”

Zayn exits the bathroom, fully dressed and running his fingers through his hair. “Niall, remember what I told you?”

Niall turns around and looks at Zayn, eyes wide. “Not dirty.”

“No, not that one. Do you remember what I said about the party?” Niall looks at Zayn, eyes still wide as he shakes his head. “You stay with Baba and you hold my hand the entire time, or you let me hold you. You can see Uncle Louis or Uncle Li, but you have to stay with Baba.” 

Zayn glances at Louis for confirmation that it will be okay if Niall hangs onto him for part of the night. Louis nods at him and slips off the bed, picking Niall up. “Yeah, babe, you can stick with me. We’ll have fun. I’ll show you how to throw things into people’s drinks without getting caught.”

~~~ 

The three of them arrive at the party, Niall clutched in Zayn’s arms, held tightly to his chest. He knew that a party like this wouldn’t have anything to accommodate a child, so he packed a small bag filled with milk and light snacks incase Niall hated the food. He grabbed a couple toys, hoping they could keep Niall entertained. 

“Baba, lots peoples,” Niall says, keeping his arm around his father’s neck, but craning his head around in different directions to try and see everything that’s going on around him. 

“I know, babes. Remember, you have to stay with me, okay? You can’t run around, I have to hold you.” Niall nods his head and they begin making their way through the crowd, spotting Louis in the back hugging Liam, whispering in his ear, the latter blushing a bright shade of red. 

Zayn clears his throat when they approach them, a knowing smirk on his face. “Well, looks like everything turned out fine for you two.”

Liam frowns. “What do you mean? We’ve always been fine.” He turns to look at Louis who is glaring daggers at Zayn. 

“Louis here was freaking out this morning, thinking you didn’t like him after last night,” Zayn supplies, shrugging his shoulders casually. 

Louis’ mouth drops open. “Is nothing sacred anymore? Can I not tell you anything? You’re a poor friend.” He folds his arms over his chest and huffs out a breath. Liam and Zayn both begin laughing at him, shaking their heads in unison. “Me and my only friend are leaving you two miserable twats. Come on, Ni.”

Zayn stops laughing immediately, watching as Louis pulls Niall out of his arms and disappears into the crowd. Louis is pointing out various parts of the room while Niall watches him, nodding his head. 

“Relax. Niall’s fine. Louis might be over dramatic but he wouldn’t let anything happen to your son,” Liam says, drawing Zayn’s attention away from the two. “Why’d you bring him, if you don’t mind me asking.” 

Zayn shrugs. “I didn’t have anyone to watch him, I promised I’d show up, so I figured that I would stay a while then leave early?” He phrases it as a question, not sure what he wants to do. 

Liam nods. “Yeah, don’t worry. He’ll be fine. Most of these people won’t even blink an eye.” He pauses, taking a sip of his drink before speaking again. “So, Louis was freaking out this morning?” He’s chewing on his bottom lip and Zayn knows that despite the teasing tone in his voice, he’s worried, nervous about what his boyfriend had been feeling earlier. 

“Yeah, he thought you were going to be angry with him for what happened last night.” Zayn laughs at Liam’s slightly horrified expression. “He’s fine, don’t worry. He panics over everything and makes a huge deal about nothing, that’s Louis. Now, come on, let’s go find your boyfriend and my son. I don’t want him corrupting Niall anymore tonight.”

~~~ 

It’s an hour into the party, almost near the time dinner should be served and Zayn has yet to see Harry. He keeps telling him that everything is find and that he hadn’t only come to the party just to get a glimpse of the curly haired boy. He’s only slightly disappointed that so much time has gone by without getting the chance to talk to him. 

He’s currently perched in the corner of the room with Niall on his lap, his son happily drinking from his sippy cup filled with milk. Louis and Liam had gone off on their own way, more Liam’s obligation that Louis’ since he worked with three fourths of the people in attendance, but Louis was forced to go along with it. Zayn suspects it’s not really a problem for Louis, he’s probably enjoying the attention he gets from being introduced as Liam’s boyfriend. 

Zayn’s lost in his thoughts when he hears a familiar laugh, his gaze shifting around the room for a minute before his eyes land on Harry. He’s leaning against the bar, red drink in hand and dressed in a grey suit with a patterned shirt and matching tie. He can’t help but smile at the sight of him, but his smile quickly fades into a frown when he notices a tall brunette man dressed in a blue suit leaning against Harry, laughing into his shoulder. 

He watches the two of them, unable to not notice the natural movements between the two of them and how much Harry shines with happiness next to the other boy. Zayn begins to scowl at them, reaching out to run his fingers through Niall’s hair, anything to help calm himself down. Tearing his gaze away from Harry, Zayn glances around the room trying to find Louis. He spots him, making his way over towards Harry until he throws himself on top of him. 

He continues to keep his attention away from Harry, even after he hears Niall shout his name, a clear sign that he’s making his way across the room and towards them. He glances up in time to see him, smiling softly when Harry gets a few feet in front of them, blue suit man following closely behind. 

“Niall, what are you doing here?” Harry asks, kneeling down in front of them so he’s at eye level with Niall, smiling at the toddler. 

“Baba bring. Niall not dirty.” 

“I see, you’re so clean, and dressed so well. Are you having a good time?” 

Niall shrugs his shoulders. “Not kids. Baba sit.” 

Harry smiles at him once more before shifting his gaze up towards Zayn, his smiling softening, resembling something fond. “Hey,” he says. 

Before Zayn can answer the man who had been following Harry over decides to talk. “Harry, who’s the kid?” 

Zayn glances up at him and frowns. 

“Um, sorry. Right, this little man is Niall and that’s his father, Zayn.” Harry points towards the two of them respectively. “And this is my friend, Nick.” 

Zayn smiles and decidedly does not offer a greeting towards either of the boys. Niall however waves his around before sticking his sippy cup back in his mouth to finish his milk. 

“Why would you bring your kid? Not really the place for a child, but whatever. Your life, isn’t it? Harry, come back to the bar, Rita and Cara have just arrived, I want to say hello.” 

“You go on, I’ll be there in a minute,” Harry says, his eyes never leaving Zayn’s, the latter beginning to show signs of severe anger and annoyance. Harry waits until Nick is further away before speaking, “Everything all right?” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah. I mean, your friend is a bit rude, but,” he trails off, no intentions of finishing his sentence incase the Nick guy is more than just Harry’s friend. 

“Yeah, he’s a bit drunk, I think, not really sure. He’s normally really great, he loves kids,” Harry says, standing up from his kneeling position so he can sit down next to Zayn, pressing his body close. “I’m glad you came. I was beginning to get worried when I hadn’t seen you, spent most of the night trying to find you.” 

“Sorry. I had Niall, and he was getting tired of walking through all the people, so we kind of just decided to sit over here.” At that moment Niall slides off Zayn’s lap and sinks down to the floor, going through the bag Zayn packed. He pulls out his stuffed lion that Harry bought him and cuddles it close to his chest. 

Harry smiles down at the small boy before looking back up at Zayn, placing his chin on Zayn’s shoulder. “I was thinking about you last night.”

Zayn smiles and turns his head towards Harry’s, their lips a few inches apart. “Yeah?” 

Harry nods, smiling at Zayn. “I’d really like to kiss you right now, but your son is right there. I don’t to do it if it’ll be weird for you.”

Zayn shifts his attention over towards Niall; his son is dancing his lion across his knees, happily singing to the stuffed animal. He turns back to Harry, a smile spreading across his lips. “I think you’re okay.” 

Harry leans forward and presses his lips against Zayn’s, carefully moving his mouth against Zayn’s. He shifts his position so one leg is tucked under him, leaning forward into the other boy. Bringing his hand up, he runs his finger along Zayn’s jaw, continuing to slowly move his mouth, enjoying the taste and warmth that Zayn’s mouth offers his own. 

Before Harry has a chance to deepen the kiss, Zayn’s pulling away, panting lightly and running his fingers through the hair on the back of Harry’s neck. 

They sit together for several minutes, enjoying the others company and warmth, watching Niall as he plays with his toys. Harry stays with him until dinner is announced and they’re forced to depart. Standing up slowly, Zayn begins to pack Niall’s bag, swinging it over his shoulder and smiling at Harry, who is already carrying Niall, holding a hand out for Zayn. He links their fingers together, guiding them across the room towards the long table. 

They get there and Harry passes Niall over and takes his seat at the end. He’s sat next to a woman from his office, or so Zayn thinks anyway, across from Liam and Louis, but before Zayn has the chance to take the next to him, Nick falls into it, giggling loudly. Zayn frowns down at him, looking around the room and noticing that he only other spot available is one located on the other end. 

So now Zayn is sat alone, Niall in his lap as he carefully helps him eat his carrots. He’s caught Louis’ eye several times, his friend smiling sadly, shrugging his shoulders. Zayn knows there is nothing he could do, but he can’t help but feel bitter about the seating arrangement, listening to the sounds of laughter coming from the other end. 

He knows he’s being ridiculous, but he can’t help but feel upset that Harry hasn’t said anything to Nick about taking Zayn’s place. Instead, he forced Zayn to sit near a bunch of people he doesn’t know, ones that refuse to make conversation with him, choosing instead to glare at him and his son. 

Zayn looks down the table, spotting Nick with his head resting against Harry’s shoulder, the other boy’s arm wrapped around him, running his hand up and down his arm. 

Zayn rolls his eyes. 

“Babe, you ready to go?”

Niall nods and leans back into Zayn’s arms. “Sleepy, Baba.”

“Yeah, I know. Come on. Can you run down there and say goodbye to Uncle Lou and Li? Then come right back?” 

Niall nods and when Zayn sets him down on the floor, he takes off, running to his Uncles and hugging them both, kissing them when Liam picks him up. He walks around the table, hugging Harry and Ed, who has taken the place of the woman on Harry’s right, before he runs back to Zayn. 

Zayn picks Niall up and adjusts the bag on his shoulder, when he looks up he sees Harry frowning in their direction. He rolls his eyes once more before he makes his way out of the building, wanting nothing more than to take his son home.


	12. Chapter 12

After the dinner party Zayn finds himself avoiding all contact with his friends. He doesn't answer their phone calls nor does he respond to any of their texts. Louis had shown up to his house banging on his door, demanding he open it, but he pretended to not be home each time. Niall didn't understand why they couldn’t see Uncle Louis, but every time he asked Zayn slipped him a cookie, promising that they’d see him soon.

But that all changes as he and Niall are walking around town checking out the local shops and stocking up on new clothes for Niall. Zayn also bought an attachment for the toilet making it easier for Niall to use, and pull-ups. He knows Niall isn't ready for potty training but he wants to try it, and if it doesn't work out at least he was prepared.

Leaving the small children’s store Zayn grabs onto Niall’s hand, “Baba, look, Harry.” Niall waves his arm, and wiggling his small fingers.

Zayn follows Niall’s gaze, and across the street is Harry smiling widely at them. He's sat at a table outside of a small café with a large group of people, none of them people that Zayn recognizes. Zayn doesn't miss the fact that though that the table is surrounded with women, even if his eyes immediately land on Nick. Nick's looking at him, expression blank as Harry points them out. He turns back around, probably saying something to the group he's with before he's sliding out of his chair and walking towards Zayn and Niall. Zayn doesn't know what to do, so he stands there, watching as Harry gets closer and closer until his arms are wrapping around Zayn. He hugs him closely, then kisses his cheek before he bends down and picks Niall up.

“Hey, what are you two doing out today?”

“Just doing a bit of shopping. Niall was wanting to get out of the house," Zayn says, shrugging, watching as Niall wrapped his arms around Harry's neck.

Niall nods and looks at Harry, “Buy toilet.”

Harry's smile widens, “He did? Are you a big boy using the potty now?”

Niall shook his head, “No. Niall not. Niall diaper.”

Harry ruffles his hair and kisses Niall’s forehead before turning his attention to Zayn. “I missed you. You haven’t returned my calls.”

Zayn doesn't miss the frown that flashes across Harry’s face, and the momentary look of hurt that makes his chest ache. “Sorry. I just needed some time. Niall and I have spent the last couple days at home just lounging around.”

Harry nods. “Yeah I understand. I just thought maybe something was bothering you from the dinner. You didn’t seem happy when you left. I couldn’t help but think that maybe I had done something?” He phrased the last part as a question, not knowing if he was right or not.

Zayn shook his head. “No, it wasn’t you. Just ready to go home, is all.”

“Dinner no fun," Niall says, deciding to add his input into the conversation. “Old people.”

Harry laughs, throwing his head back and Zayn stares in awe at his features, his eyes crinkled and his mouth hung open with the most melodic sound coming out of it. When Harry stops laughing he addresses Niall, “Lots of old people, huh?”

Before Niall can respond, they're interrupted by Nick, who has made his way across the road without any of them realizing, much to Zayn's displeasure. “Sorry to interrupt this honeymoon or whatever this is, but you were in the middle of something, Harry, so?” He trails off waving his hands in the air.

Zayn can’t help but want to punch Nick in his face for ruining their time together, the few short minutes he's seen Harry in days and Nick had to come and ruin it over the sandwiches and girls.

Harry frowns. “Yeah, sorry.” He turns towards Zayn, “I want to see you again, okay? I’ll call you.”

Zayn nods and takes Niall in his arms, “yeah. That sounds good, is that alright with you Niall?”

Niall nods obediently and smiles at Harry, who leans forward to kiss Niall on the cheek and then Zayn. He turns around, making his way back towards his friends with Nick in tow. When he reaches the table, he turns back once more, flashing Zayn and Niall one last smile before turning back to his friends.

~

"You're early," Zayn says, pulling his door open wide to allow Harry to enter before he pushes it closed. He turns to smile at Harry, watching as the other boy kicks off his shoes, smiling back at him. 

Harry doesn't waste any time, moving to press his lips against Zayn's. He's still smiling into the kiss, hands on Zayn's hips. When he pulls away he brushes the hair away from Zayn's forehead and says, "Couldn't really wait any longer. It’s been a week.” Harry pouts, tugging on Zayn’s shirt.

Zayn laughs and pushes Harry off of him. “Oh, don’t be a big baby. I’ve already got one child I don’t need another.”

Harry looks around the room at the mention of a child. “Where is Niall?”

“He’s taking a nap. He was extremely cranky and I was not going to let him stay up.”

Harry smiles wickedly. “So, we’re alone?” He wiggles his eyebrows and grabs Zayn’s hand, dragging him towards the couch. Harry falls on it and pulls Zayn down with him. He doesn't bother waiting for Zayn to get comfortable, just wraps his arms around him, swinging one leg over his body and nuzzling his face in Zayn’s neck.

“You’re ridiculous.” Zayn readjusts himself so that he's more comfortable on the couch, allowing his legs to slot in between Harry’s.

Harry bites down on Zayn’s neck, nibbling on the skin and sucking a mark. “I am not. I’m tired and cranky and need a nap like Niall.”

Zayn laughs shoving Harry playfully before kissing him on the cheek. “So why am I here?”

“How am I supposed to nap without you? Unfamiliar territory and all I could get nightmares. Now stop talking you’re ruining everything.”

Zayn readjusts himself so he's facing Harry, his head pulled into Harry’s chest with Harry’s chin resting on top of his head. He inhales deeply and frowns. He can smell something that's so undeniably Harry and the smell alone allows him to relax and feel safe, but there's something lingering in the scent, something that's not Harry. Zayn can't put his finger on it but something about the smell made his skin crawl. He tries to ignore it but the longer he lies here, so close to Harry that he can hear his heart beat and feel his breath against his hair, the more he can't let the feeling go that something is wrong with what he's smelling.

He pulls back and looks up at Harry. "Um, Harry, where did you get this sweater?"

Harry keeps his eyes closes and shifts slightly. “I borrowed it from Nick.”

Zayn frowns. Nick, of course. Who else? “Why did you borrow his sweater?”

“He stole a yellow jacket from me, it was one of my favorites, so I decided to take his sweater hostage. Do you like it?” Harry asks, tightening his arms around Zayn rubbing the other boys back gently.

“It’s alright.” Zayn waits until he knows that Harry is asleep before he slips out of his grip and makes his way into the kitchen. He leans against the counter breathing in deeply, trying to calm himself down. He knows that he's falling for Harry and he keeps thinking that Harry feels the same way, but every time he feels himself slipping deeper and deeper into whatever this thing is with Harry, that Nick kid keeps ruining it for him. He knows he should trust Harry, but the more things like this happen, the less he feels like he can.

~

The next day at work, Zayn finally breaks down and tells Louis about his qualms. The diner is closed and they're finishing the clean up, but instead of doing his job, Zayn's laid across the counter pouting at Louis.

"I don't understand," Louis says, wiping down the booths across from Zayn. "I don't get why you're freaking out." 

Zayn sits up and looks at Louis. "Don't act like I'm not justified in this. Something is going on between Nick and Harry. No one acts like that with a friend. We’ve known each other years and we don’t share clothes and we don’t get all cuddly and we don’t smell like each other when we’re cuddling with someone else.”

Louis stops, passing the bin of dirty dishes to Zayn. "So he came over and cuddled?"

"Louis! Pay attention. Do you know if Harry is with Nick?"

Louis stops and gives Zayn a sympathetic look. "Zayn, have you ever thought about trusting him? I mean, he told you before he wouldn't pick someone up for sex in front of you, so why would he bring his boyfriend in front of you and parade him around?"

Zayn shrugs. "I don't know, maybe he would."

Louis sighs and puts a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder. "Listen, Zayn, if I knew anything I would tell you, believe me. But maybe you should talk to Harry about it. Have you thought  about that?"

Zayn shakes his head. "No, I'll talk to him. You're right. I should talk to him." Zayn watches as Louis carts the dishes into the back for cleaning. He stares across the room before pulling out his phone. He opens the messages with Harry and begins to type one out, but then his phone is vibrating him, alerting him of a new message. It's Harry, one that has a picture attached. 

**Me and Nicky in the studio, thinking about you xx**

Zayn ignores the kisses at the end of the text and the ‘thinking about you’ and instead chooses to look at the close proximity of Harry and Nick, the smiles on their faces and the ache in his chest he feels looking at Harry enjoying someone else’s company more than he enjoyed Zayn’s. He continues to look at the picture until his phone vibrates again with another message:

**Come out tonight. Want to see you. Missss youuuuu. xxx**

Zayn smiles, the pain in his chest subsiding only slightly as he typed out a reply, _alright, I’ll get Lou and Li to watch Niall._

**Yay! Meet you at that new place in town, the one with the delicious burgers and horrible lighting and creepy paintings. You know the one?**

_Yeah, I’ll see you then._

**:D Can’t wait!!! Be there at 9 <3**

~

Zayn walks down the street with his hands in his pockets. He's nearing the place where he was told to meet Harry, and he can feel his nerves beginning to set in. He decided that he would talk to Harry about all the doubts and fears he was having. He hopes that the other boy would reassure him everything was fine. 

But his hopes fall short when he reaches the restaurant and sees Harry inside, standing there in all his glory with Nick at his side. They're play around, throwing fake punches and then wrapping their arms around each other. Zayn stops in his tracks, a frown pulling at his lips as he watches. He had assumed that tonight's outing was going to be a date between the two of them, but with Nick there, it's just three people together eating a meal. Zayn can feel the weight in his chest again, making it difficult to breathe. He feels his frown deepen, and just as he's about to turn around, he locks eyes with Harry, who smiles at him. His smile falls, though, when he sees the look on Zayn's face. 

Zayn turns around quickly, making his way back down the street, shoving past people. He can hear Harry calling his name, and he knows he needs to get away before he can catch up with him. But his chances of making it away in time fail when Harry grabs his shoulders and spins him around, forcing Zayn to look at him. 

"Why are you leaving? What's wrong?" Harry asks, panting from running four blocks, the distance that Zayn had managed to get between them. 

Zayn shakes his head. "Listen Harry, I don't like being strung along like this. And yet, you keep doing it to me, and I really don't understand, because clearly you already have someone. I don't know if you're wanting some sort of threesome, but I'm not buying it, so just stop, yeah?"

Harry's eyebrow raises at that. "Z, I have no idea what you're talking about. I thought that-"

"Listen, I'll make this easy for you. You can go back to Nick and just forget that I exist, or whatever. You don't have to pretend to like my son, and you don't have to act like you care. You're free, just stop toying with my emotions," Zayn says, cutting Harry off.

Harry frowns. “Zayn, I’m not-you really think? I can’t believe-why would you-I’m so confused.”

Zayn shrugs his shoulders, “I gotta go, and it was nice meeting you Harry.” With that he turns around and makes his way back towards the direction of his apartment.

Harry doesn't chase after him and Zayn doesn't look back.


	13. Chapter 13

“Niall we bought this so you at least have to try it out.”

"Baby, no. Not potty," Niall says, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting up at Zayn, his bottom lip protruding. "Icky."

Zayn sighs, kneeling down in front of Niall as he places the toddler seat attachment onto the toilet. "It's not icky, I cleaned it. Besides, I use it and so does Louis and Liam. Everyone uses the potty, it's what big boys do."

Niall stomps his foot on the ground, glaring up at Zayn. "Niall big boy."

Zayn tries not to smile at his son's reaction, the sheer betrayal in his eyes. "Show me by using the big boy potty."

"No. Not like."

Zayn sighs, reaching out for Niall and carefully pulling off his small pants and his diaper, before he places him on the toilet; a task proven difficult by Niall's thrashing around, trying to free himself from his father's grip. "Niall, stop." Zayn's tone is firm and it causes Niall to stop moving immediately, looking up at Zayn with a pitiful expression. "I promise nothing bad will happen to you, if you relax then you'll go. It'll all be over with, you just have to try it, baby. Can you do that for Baba? Please?"

Niall continues to look at Zayn with a sad expression on his face, hoping to get his way. And when Zayn shows no signs of caving in, he huffs out a breath and looks away. 

"Okay, so you won't do it for me. How about for a bowl of ice cream? Chocolate with sprinkles?"

Niall continues to stare at the wall, and just when Zayn thinks he's going to have to try something else, or just give up all together, the sound of liquid hitting liquid fills his eyes, and a smile spreads across his face. He has to stop himself from lifting Niall up and spinning him around.

"Baba, done. Off. Want off. Want ice cream," Niall says, grinning up at Zayn. 

Zayn laughs, cleaning Niall up and flushing. "Good job, sweetie. I'm so proud of you. Was that so bad?"

Niall shakes his head. "Niall ice cream." 

"Yeah, baby, we'll get your ice cream. But then it's nap time, okay?"

~

The pounding on Zayn's door is what wakes him from his nap with Niall. He groans and rolls over, making sure that Niall is still sleeping. He smiles when he looks at his son, his thumb tucked into his mouth and holding onto the lion that Harry had bought him in one arm, his bear in the other. Zayn carefully pulls the blankets back up and moves as quietly as he can across the room to go and see who wants into his house so badly. 

Zayn's surprised to see a fiery Liam standing behind the door, his fist hitting it with such force that Zayn's afraid of what might happen when he opens it. He does it anyway, yanking it open to say, "Liam, for Christ's sake, stop banging on the damn door. I've got a toddler taking a nap. What is wrong with you?"

Liam shoves past Zayn, walking into the apartment, pacing back and forth. Zayn shuts the door carefully. "Liam? What's going on?" Zayn watches as Liam makes his way around the room with anger in his eyes. He can't process what's going on, can't even figure out why Liam would show up to his house this upset about something. He watches as Liam struggles to find the words to say. 

"Zayn, you're an absolute idiot. You're stupid and hopeless, and not only have you ruined your own life, but you've ruined mine," Liam says, stopping to stare at Zayn with such intensity in his eyes it makes Zayn want to cower in the corner. 

"Liam, I don't know what you're talking about. How have I ruined anyone's life?"

"You--You just--You string people along and make them think things are going one way, when really they're not. And you're not brave enough to do anything about it because you're scared. And do you know what I've had to do to try and fix the mess you caused? Do you know what it's like? No, of course not, because you lock yourself away in this shit apartment with your son all the time."

"Liam, what the hell are you going on about?"

"Oh, you want to know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about you and your messed up little relationship. I'm talking about Harry."

Zayn stops, nodding silently as he drops down on the couch. "Oh."

"Oh? That's all you have to say? Oh?"

"What do you want me to say? I don't even see how it's any of your business," Zayn says, crossing his arms over his chest.

Liam glares at Zayn, his eyes squinting at him. “I’ll tell you exactly why it’s my business. It’s my business when my friend comes dragging himself into work everyday looking more broken and worse off then he did the day before. It’s my business when all my friend does is drag himself back home and sit around waiting for you to call him or text him. It’s my business when I go over to my friend’s apartment to see it a complete and utter mess and then have him beg me, Zayn he begged me to talk to you. He begged me to find out what he did to make you hate him. Do you know how hard it is to have to deal with this and then go home every night to the one person who is irrevocably on your side no matter what you do? The one person besides Niall who thinks you literally do nothing wrong. Do you have any idea how hard it is to remain neutral in all of this?”

Zayn sighs, speaking softly, “Liam, I didn’t mean for you to get dragged into the middle of this. It’s…it’s not important what happened. It’s over.” Zayn shrugs his shoulders and tries to hide the pain in his voice from hearing how hard Harry was taking what's happened.

“Have you told Harry that? Have you told Harry why you decided you didn’t want anything to do with him? Because he thought things were going good, and for some reason unknown to me, he likes you and your little mood swings. He even likes your son and the fact that you’re a father. He knew this was going to be difficult, but Zayn you’re making it nearly impossible,” Liam sighs, running his hand across his shaved head, “Zayn, Harry thought you two were together and then one day you just decide it’s done and over with and he has no idea what’s going on.” Zayn sat with his head down playing with his fingers not able to make eye contact with his friend, “why do you keep ruining it? Why are you so scared to just open up and trust him?”

Zayn’s face contorts, not sure what he should be saying or doing. He figures the truth should work, hopefully. “He’s dating Nick, I think? Or at least he wants to be or Nick wants him to be? I don’t know. I just want-I don’t want-I mean, I don’t know but I don’t want to be in the middle of something or have to compete with something. Every time Harry was there Nick would pop in and he’s so fucking rude and he’d drag Harry away and Harry would go like it was no big deal. I was left standing there feeling like an idiot and then he asked me on what I thought was a date and I was going to talk to him but Nick was there. I just-you don’t know how fucking bad it hurt seeing him all over Nick.” Zayn lowers his gaze away from Liam. He doesn't want his friend to know how much this is bothering him.

Zayn feels the couch dip next to him before he hears Liam speak. “You’re an idiot, an absolute idiot. Nick doesn’t want Harry and Harry doesn’t want Nick. Did you bother asking either of them or I don’t know maybe talking to either of them? I knew you were a possessive, jealous asshole sometimes but I didn’t know you were stupid.” Zayn makes to cut Liam off but Liam reaches over and places his fingers over Zayn’s mouth. “No, listen to me. Harry thought he was dating you. Harry is head over heels for you, and for Niall. You’re all he talks about and Zayn do you have any idea how obsessed he is with your son?” Liam smiled removing his hand from Zayn’s mouth, “and Nick’s an asshole. But he has the world’s biggest crush on Ed and for some back handed reason he thinks hanging on Harry will make Ed come running for him. So, how about you call Harry and explain to him why you want nothing to do with him, or fix this.”

He's breathing heavy and Zayn can't see the anger in his eyes anymore, instead he sees sadness. “I know this isn’t just about Harry, what happened?”

Before Liam could answer a small voice comes from the entry of the room, causing them to both turn their gaze. “Baba?” Niall's standing in the doorway, clad in only a diaper, still holding his stuffed animals to his chest, frowning. “Uncle Li?” He walks into the room, crawling into Zayn’s lap and leaning against his chest with his thumb in his mouth.

Liam waits while before he says, “Louis and I we...we broke up.”

Zayn stops and stares, his mouth open and eyes wide. “What? Why? What happened?”

Liam turns to look at Zayn with a deep frown pulled into his features. “I told you I tried to remain neutral, but it’s hard. Louis loves Harry, you know that, he loves him probably more than he should but Zayn no matter what you do Louis is unconditionally loyal to you. That’s fine. I get it. You’ve been friends forever, but the more Harry would come to me and I’d see how broken he was the harder it got. And well I guess I was kind of on Harry’s side and was calling you a few things he didn’t like. So we got into this huge fight and it’s over. “ Liam blinks back tears and Zayn reaches a hand out and squeezes Liam’s knee gently.

“Louis is stubborn, he’ll get over it. I’ll talk to him. Liam, it’s going to be okay.”

Liam shakes his head, his frown deepening. “No, I don’t think it will; he’s never gotten so angry with me before I don’t know how to fix it. Zayn he wanted me to leave. He told me to leave.” Liam carefully runs his hands over his eyes, trying to prevent the tears from spilling onto his cheeks.

Zayn pats his friend’s thigh reassuringly. “Come on.” He passes Niall onto Liam’s lap, “You can stay for dinner and yell at me some more. It’ll make you feel much better. Trust me.”

Liam laughs running his hands through Niall’s hair. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.”

~

It's hours after Liam had left when Zayn is awoken in the middle of the night by something hitting the back of his legs. Briefly Zayn wonders if Niall has finally mastered crawling out of his crib. Before he can confirm his suspicions, he feels himself getting hit in the face. He throws the hand off of his face as he slids up in his bed. He turns the light on and is surprised, to say the least, when he spots his best friend sprawled out across the other side of his bed.

He shoves Louis, trying to stir him awake. “Lou, wake up.” Louis groans and rolls over, tugging the blankets with him. “No, Louis wake up right now. Why are you in my house? More importantly, why are you in my bed?”

“Stop shouting it’s late and I’m sleeping.” Louis mumbles, shoving his face into the pillow.

Zayn stares at his friend for a moment before speaking, “No, I will not shut up. Why are you in this bed?”

Louis rolls over. “I couldn’t sleep alone in my bed. I was so lonely. So I came here. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” He lies back down, rolling his body away from Zayn’s.

“Go to Liam’s he probably enjoys sharing a bed with you. You two are practically living together.”

Louis frowns, rolling over to look at Zayn. “Liam and I we...we kind of…It wasn’t working out anymore.” He trails off. Zayn can hear the sadness in Louis’s voice as he tries to play it off. He sighs, turning off the light and sliding back down onto the bed. He reaches a hand out and holds onto Louis. “I know. Liam stopped by earlier.”

“He’s a jerk.” Zayn can hear the pout in Louis’ voice.

“I heard you broke up because he said I was an idiot. I am an idiot. You shouldn’t be angry with him.”

“He came to my apartment after work and he was so stressed and he kept muttering how upset Harry was and I said you were upset too and I thought something happened but I didn’t want to push you and he started going off about how horrible you are and I couldn’t let him do that to you. I tried to explain why you are the way you are but he wouldn’t listen and then we started yelling and I told him if he hated you then he probably hated me too so he just grabbed his stuff and left and said he couldn’t do this anymore.”

Zayn sighs, pulling Louis closer into his chest running his hand up and down his back, “I’m a big boy, Louis, I can take care of this. Don’t ruin your own relationship because of me. Liam loves you and you love him. He looked miserable earlier. And if it makes you feel better, he only came over to yell me about Harry because of the fact you two were fighting about it.”

Louis rubs his face into Zayn’s chest. “I don’t want him to hate you. He doesn’t understand you the way I do. He doesn’t know.”

“Yeah. He doesn’t, but it’s okay. I know that Liam is Harry’s friend before he’s mine. I know that. Just like both Harry and Liam know you’re my friend first. But that doesn’t mean you and Liam need to argue on our behalf.”

He feels Louis nod against his chest. “You should talk to Harry. I heard he’s miserable."

Zayn sighs. “Yeah. I know.”

“You’re miserable too. You need more than just Niall. You need more than just me. Harry really wants to be that for you. Plus he’s pretty fit. You should fix things with him.” Louis yawns, curling himself into Zayn.

“Just sleep for now. It’s four in the morning and Niall will be screaming for us to wake up in about three hours. We can talk about this later.” He listens as Louis mumbles words to him before the sounds of his friend's even breathing fills the air.

Zayn lies awake listening to Louis’ breathing as his thoughts drift back and forth between the words both his friends spoke to him today, before his thoughts finally settled onto a certain curly haired boy as he slowly drifts off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

“Zayn, your son doesn’t eat anything I make him,” Louis says, standing in Zayn’s bedroom doorway with his hands on his hips. “I’m serious. Wake up before your son starves to death.” Louis stomps over to the bed and rips the blanket off. He smiling smugly when Zayn rolls over and finally opens his eyes.

Zayn goes to pull the blankets back over his body, but Louis grabs them, throwing them into the corner of the room. "What is your problem? Let me sleep," Zayn groans out, dropping his face down into his pillow. 

"Your son is in there, complaining about my toast. It's not even burnt. He won't eat it. He absolutely refuses."

Zayn sits up, stretching his muscles before following Louis back into the kitchen, mumbling under his breath about how he deserves to sleep in after dealing with Louis lying on top of him all night. And if he wasn't smothering Zayn, then he was kicking him. All night long.

Zayn grabs Niall's cereal out of the cupboard when they reach the kitchen. "He doesn't like his bread toasted. If you're going to try that, then you have to just put some jam on regular bread. He'll eat that."

Louis looks at Zayn in abject horror. "What do you mean he doesn't like toast? He chewed on my sweater the other day. He tried to eat my clothing, but he won't eat a slice of toasted bread?"

Zayn glares at Louis, pouring some of the cereal into a small bowl. "He did not try and eat your sweater. He's teething. His two year morals are coming in soon and they've been bothering him, he's chewing on things to try and get some relief. It's painful when your teeth come in. Give him a break."

"Whatever. He should still learn to like toast. I mean, I made it. Not just anyone, me. When am I ever here to feed him in the mornings? Never. He needs to learn appreciation for the things I do. How many other godfathers does he have?" 

"Oh shut up, cut up one of those bananas and give it to him if you're so worried about if he likes your food or not. He's probably starving. Stuck waiting for you to try and figure out what to feed him." Zayn peeks into the sitting are where Niall is sat in his high chair, clapping his hands as Louis gives him food. "Oh my god, Louis. You didn't even give him milk or juice?"

Louis sighs dramatically as he places the banana slices on the tray in front of Niall. "Ni, do you really even need any juice?" 

Niall looks up, his fingers in his mouth. He nods and Louis sighs, moving across the kitchen. "Honestly, your child is being very demanding this morning," he says, pouring Niall some apple juice. 

Zayn follows behind Louis, sitting down in front of Niall and setting the bowl of dried Cheerios in front of him. Niall grins, shoving his hand inside of the bowl and grabbing some. Louis shoves a plate towards Zayn, one that's filled with eggs and toast. 

After several quiet minutes Louis says, “So what are you going to do about Harry?”

Zayn sighs, feeding Niall the last of his eggs before turning his attention to Louis. “I don’t know. Honestly, I still feel like something was going on. Liam insists there was nothing but you saw them. Right?”

“I mean, I’ve never actually met Nick before, at least not properly. Like, I mean, at the dinner party he was completely trashed and I thought maybe he’s just touchy when he’s drunk. And besides, Harry is extremely flirtatious, but I don’t think he’d do anything to you like that.” Louis shrugs collecting all the dirty dishes and making his way over towards the sink. “I mean, Liam claims Nick has a crush on Ed but I’ve never actually seen Nick talk to Ed.”

Zayn unbuckles Niall from his high chair, taking the wash cloth Louis throws him and begins cleaning Niall’s face and fingers of banana bits, doing a sweep through his hair to wipe out any that might have managed to get tangled between blond strands. When he's finished he pats Niall on the bottom, watching as he runs back towards his bedroom. Zayn waits a few moments, cleaning up Niall's tray as he thins. He needs some time to gather his thoughts. 

“I just don’t know how to feel about the entire situation. I like Harry, I really, really like him and I kept thinking maybe he did too but then Nick happened and it was like when Nick wasn’t there he wanted me but when Nick came around he forgot who I was.” Zayn took the dishes from Louis and began slowly rinsing each of them.

Louis pours himself another cup of tea before sliding onto the counter to watch Zayn. “I mean, okay so Harry was kind of an asshole for what he did and Nick is a giant asshole. But you should at least think about what it is you want.”

Zayn sighs as he shuts off the faucet and looks up at his friend. “Louis, I don’t know what to do.”

“Well do you like Harry?”

“I think I’ve already said that.”

“Can you forgive him for what happened?”

“I mean…maybe? I’m not sure. I don’t understand what happened and I can’t pretend that I do but…I should probably talk to Harry, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah you should, at least to figure out what’s going on or send him over to me.”

“You’re horrible. Honestly, can’t you be serious for five minutes?”

Louis slides off the counter, grabbing the small pad of paper Zayn kee[s tacked to the wall to write his reminders and shopping lists. He jots something down before ripping the paper off and passing it Zayn. “Here is Harry’s address. Go there today, from what Liam said the poor guy hasn’t left. Something about waiting for you to call him, or as I’d like to think, he’s lying around naked just waiting for you, or me, to come and find him.” Zayn shoves Louis. “Just you go there and I’ll take Niall out today. The kid needs to get out more. You’re going to turn him into some antisocial recluse just like you are.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my child.”

Louis gives him a pointed look before shouting down the hallway for Niall to get clothes and meet him in the living room. “Niall’s perfect. But he needs me to fix the mistakes that you’re making. He needs me to be better.” He sticks his tongue out at Zayn as Niall comes running into the kitchen, clothing in hand. 

Zayn grabs Niall and leads him towards the table, helping him into the clothes he brought out. “I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to talk to Harry, at least not today.”

“Oh shut up. I’m borrowing some of your clothes; the tolerable ones.”

Zayn rolls his eyes at Louis. “If I have to talk to Harry, what are you going to do about Liam?”

Louis freezes, stopping mid stride. “I don’t think there is anything to do.” When Zayn gives him a hard look he continues, “You go and get your stupid boyfriend and then we’ll worry about me. Besides if Liam cared he’d have called, and funnily enough, my phone hasn’t gone off once.”

~

Zayn stands in his living room holding his phone in one hand and the piece of paper with Harry’s address on it in the other. He knows that he needs to go and see Harry, but something is stopping him. Zayn is scared of what Harry’s reaction will be if he shows up at his door, scared of what will happen if he doesn't do anything at all. Zayn sighs, knowing what he needs to do. He pockets the address along with his phone and makes his way towards his door. He swings the door open and is startled when he slams into a body.

“Harry?”

Harry steps back, smiling sheepishly at Zayn. “Um yeah. I didn’t think you’d be home.” Zayn notices how his smile doesn't reach his eyes and how his eyes are looking at what Zayn can only assume is his left shoulder or something behind it.

“How long have you been standing out here?”

“Um, about 10 minutes? I didn’t know if I should knock or not.” Harry shrugs, finally looking up at Zayn, who barks out a laugh at the irony of having been inside of his apartment worrying about seeing Harry when the other boy was standing outside of his door worrying about the same thing. He stops laughing when he notices Harry frowning, reaching out and pulling him inside, closing the door behind him.

They stand in an awkward, weighted silence, waiting for the other to speak. And when Zayn finally goes to open his mouth, he has to immediately shut it because words starting pouring out of Harry's mouth a rapid speed, startling Zayn. 

“I came here because you’ve been avoiding me and I’m not wrong about that. I’ve kind of deducted that you’re a bit of a homebody and don’t like to leave your house and that sometimes you get so wrapped up in Niall, you don’t pay attention to your phone, and that’s fine. But you never don't not answer, you don’t just leave me hanging. It’s also fine that you enjoy spending all of your time in this apartment because you want to be around Niall and only Niall. I get that. But after last week I don’t think this is about you just wanting to be with your son," Harry says, pausing to look at Zayn. All he does is shrug, unsure of what Harry wants him to say. Harry sighs, continuing. "I’ve been trying to figure it out for days, what I could have done wrong, what I did do wrong that you’re here hating me and I’m at my house just sitting there waiting, staring at my phone. I don’t even think I’ve slept in two days because I just sit there waiting, so today I decided I wasn’t going to just sit around anymore and I need to know what happened, actually no I demand to know. You’re going to tell me,” Harry finishes with a huff falling onto Zayn’s couch. “So tell me, what happened?”

"I'm not sure," Zayn says, chewing on his bottom lip, avoiding eye contact with Harry. He feels vulnerable and a tad bit silly about the events that have taken place between them. Especially now that he's seeing Harry again. 

"No. Don't give me that shit. You know exactly what it is," Harry says. And when Zayn makes no attempts to answer, Harry throws his hands up in the air. "Honestly, you're probably the most annoying person I've ever met. You're always running off, ignoring me or coming up some random bullshit in your head that's probably never happened because you don't trust me enough to just out and say what's bothering you. So we can never resolve things, ever. You're like a fucking puzzle and I'm sitting here, trying to put the pieces together. Only, you're hiding some of them from me. I'm destined to fail at this no matter what happens. No matter what it is you don't want me to figure out out."

"Are you dating Nick?" Zayn asks, watching as Harry's mouth drops open before it immediately pulls into a frown. "It's just...things happened and you were so wrapped up in him. And he's always angry when I'm around. And you always left when he told you to. You're quite touchy with each other and I just- it made me think that maybe you weren't all that sure about what you wanted. Or well, you were sure, but you were conflicted. I thought maybe I was just an experiment for you so I kind of just stopped everything before it could get worse because-"

Harry stops Zayn mid-sentence, lunging forward and slamming his lips against Zayn's He grabs onto Zayn's face, holding him close and fighting his tongue into the other boys' mouth. It's messy, all teeth and tongue, laced with desperation. The kiss startles Zayn and when he finally responds, finally gets his mouth to start following Harry's lead, Harry pulls away, keeping his hands on Zayn's face.   


"You're so stupid," Harry says, laughing lightly. 

Zayn grabs Harry's hands, gently removing them from his face. "That's exactly what I like to hear after a kiss."

"No," Harry says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just, did you honestly think there was someone else?"

"Well, we never talked about anything. We never talked about being exclusive, so you were free to do whatever you wanted. And just...god- Harry, do you not realize how much you two touch each other?" 

"I'm a cuddly person. I like contact and Nick, when he's drunk, becomes an octopus and just latches onto things and people."

"At the dinner, I sat on the other end of the table. I sat alone with a bunch of people I didn't know, staring at me and Niall while you were at the other end with your friends, cuddled up to Nick. Do you even know how that felt."

Harry frowns, reaching out to press a hand to Zayn's cheek, thumb stroking the skin. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but honestly. I mean shit, Zayn, didn't you realize?"

"Realize what?" Zayn asks, tilting his head into Harry's hand, gently nudging it with his chin. 

"Zayn, this whole time I thought it was just me and you. Harry and Zayn. Honestly, you were the only one. I haven't even thought about anyone else since I've met you. I thought you knew that."

Zayn stares at Harry, eyes wide as he shakes his head ."I didn't- But you never- I mean for me, but... Why didn't you tell me?"

Harry laughs, leaning forward and pressing his lips against Zayn's softly. He leans back, resting his forward against Zayn's. "This is me telling you then. You're mine and I'm yours, exclusively. No one else, just you and me. No more avoiding me, no more hiding away from our problems. If something is bothering you, then you have to talk to me. You have to trust me, Zayn. I don't want anyone else, just you. So do you think you can do that?" Harry asks, smiling widely. "Do you think you can trust your boyfriend?"

Zayn responds by closing the gap between the two, wrapping his arms around Harry as he carefully shoves him back into the wall. He feels Harry laughing against his mouth, at his eagerness, probably. Zayn takes the opportunity to nip at Harry's lip, sliding his tongue into the other boy's mouth, exploring as much as he can before sucking gently on Harry's tongue. He tastes like mint and it makes Zayn's head spin, his stomach clenching. He feels Harry groan into his mouth, tightening his arms around Zayn's waist. 

Zayn breaks the kiss, ignoring Harry's smug smile as he pulls away, panting and going to work on Harry's neck, kissing, sucking, biting, hoping to leave marks across his pale skin, marking it as his, because Harry is his, finally his. 


	15. Chapter 15

“So how do you feed him?”

“Harry, for god sake, he’s a toddler you feed him just like you feed yourself, only slower,” Zayn says. "Really, he can feed himself, but he likes to eat too fast sometimes."

Harry nods, taking the small bowl filled with macaroni and the other one filled with various types of vegetables, bringing them over towards Niall, who was squirming in his high chair waving his arms in the air whining over not being fed yet. This is why Zayn has to feed him sometimes, because he thinks he's starving and shoves the food into his mouth a rate much faster than his little mouth can chew. 

Harry sits in front of Niall, staring at him then down at the food then back at Niall.

“Harry, if you don’t feed him soon he’s going to get angry with you. You don’t even have a fork, what were you planning on doing? Picking up the food with your hands and feeding it to him? He’s perfectly capable of doing that himself.” Zayn shakes his head, reaching into the drawer for a plastic baby fork and passing it to Harry before grabbing their own dinners and placing them on the table.

Zayn watches as Harry carefully picks up the fork, scooping some food onto it before looking at Niall. Niall's frowning at him, carefully reaching his hands out grabbing onto Harry’s, bringing the food into his mouth. Zayn chokes on a laugh, covering his mouth to prevent any food from leaving.

“Oh, shut up.” Harry waits until Niall was done chewing before putting another forkful in his mouth. “It’s not funny, Zayn. I didn’t know what to do.”

“You feed yourself everyday and you can’t put a fork in another person's mouth?”

Harry sends Zayn another glare before going back to feeding Niall, only this time Niall has other plans and isn’t going to let Harry do this so easy. Just as Harry's about to place the fork in his mouth, he closes it and turns his head to the side, causing the fork to hit his cheek.

“Niall, what’s the matter?”

Niall shakes his head,  smiling widely at Harry before turning and looking at Zayn. He keeps smiling at Harry’s attempts to put the food in his mouth. Niall relishes in the fact that Zayn is laughing so hard he's clutching his sides.

Harry groans, rubbing his face in his hands as he waits for Zayn to finally stop laughing. “It’s not funny. Why won’t he eat? Niall, why won’t you eat?”

Zayn straightens up and manages to give Harry a sympathetic smile before turning to Niall. “Baby, you need to eat for Harry, okay? No more games. You need to eat your dinner.”

“Baba, it funny.” Niall waves his arms in the air, clapping at his attempts to humor his father.

Zayn smiles. “But you hurt Harry’s feelings, so make it up to him and eat your dinner.”

Niall nods and opens his mouth, obediently, letting Harry carefully place the food inside. “It yummy, Harry.”

Harry waits until Zayn has finished his own dinner and he has fed Niall before speaking again, “Is this how all of our dates are going to be?”

Zayn cocks an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

“All domestic like. At home with the baby playing with toys and changing dirty diapers and feeding?” He notices Zayn’s panicked expression, quickly adding, “Z, it’s alright. I like it. We don’t have to go out. I get it. This is your life. It’s fun and endearing.”

“Are you sure you won’t get bored?”

Harry frowns as he wipes Niall off, releasing him from his chair and sending him on his way. “No I won’t get bored. Besides, if I want to go out I’ll just take Louis somewhere, after a day with him I’ll be fine for a few weeks.”

“Yeah. Actually speaking of Louis, we might need to help him figure out his life, and Liam’s too.”

“Why do they need their lives sorted?”

Zayn swallows, feeling oddly shy about speaking about his friends lives. “They kind of broke up because we were fighting.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “They’re honestly a mess. We can worry about them later. They’ll probably sort themselves out. Liam well he doesn’t really know how to live without Louis I suspect and on top of that he doesn’t know how to be properly be angry with anyone I don’t think. He’ll cave.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. He came over here pretty angry at me. Yelling and shouting about how dumb I am, but then stopped once he realized how upset he is about Louis.”

Harry smacks the table. “See? It’ll be okay Zayn. I mean if you can figure things out with me then they can too. Don’t worry.”

Zayn nods as he slowly got up to begin collecting all of their dinner dishes.

“Can I ask you a question?” Zayn nods as he carefully balanced Niall’s dishes on top of theirs. “I don’t want to make things awkward and please don’t be angry when I ask, but um is there like I mean why were you're so adamant that things were going to go wrong with me? With us?”

Zayn avoids answering the question for several long seconds. He drops the dishes into the sink and gripped the counter. Sighing he answers, “things don’t really work out for me when it comes to relationships. Louis has been my only friend for as long as I can remember. Every other friend I’ve ever had was because they were friends with Louis and he won’t talk to anyone if they don’t like me. So Ed, Liam, you…I got all of you now because of Louis; same with all of my friends before now. Growing up everyone always told Louis he shouldn’t be friends with me but like obviously he ignored them.” He takes a deep breath as he continues to keep his gaze away from Harry. “It’s just that's the thing, no one sticks around unless they’re permanently attached to Louis. And every relationship I’ve had without him has failed. Harry, I’m 25 and I’ve had two relationships before this. They both cheated on me and left. So like seeing you with Nick just…” he trailed off shrugging his shoulders.

The chair sliding across the floor stirs Zayn from his self-pitying thoughts, he feels Harry hugging him from behind, resting his head on his shoulder. “You know I won’t do that, right? Like you don’t need to worry?” When Zayn doesn't answer Harry continues, “Zayn if I didn’t wanna be here I wouldn’t be. I probably would have left the first time you pushed me away or the time after that or maybe even the time after that. And nothing is going on with Nick. Nothing is going on with anyone, just you.”

Zayn nods. “Yeah I know. You’re just different, Harry.” He turns around in order to hug Harry properly and they held onto each other for several minutes before Niall’s voice interrupts them.

“Baba, no. Niall cuddle. Baba, up.” He holds his arms in the air, frowning at his father and Harry.

“You wanna cuddle with us?”

“Yes, Baba.” Niall wraps an arm around Zayn before grabbing onto Harry’s shoulder, who was leaning his body onto Zayn’s other side as he carefully wraps his arm around Niall, bringing the three boys flush together.

~

“It’s almost noon, don't you think we should wake him up? I mean, he’s so small. Babies can’t sleep this long.”

Zayn groans rolling over to face Harry. "You’re really going to ruin this for me, aren’t you?” He watches as Harry removes the fingers he was chewing on out of his mouth and smiles shyly at Zayn.

“I’m not trying to ruin anything, but he’s young and it’s so late. Aren’t you worried that something isn’t okay with him?"

Zayn rolls his eyes at the younger boy. “I got up five different times while you were sleeping to check on him. I checked his breathing, I checked his diaper; I checked everything. He’s only sleeping. He’s fine.”

Harry frowns. “You got up? I didn’t feel you get out of bed.”

“Obviously, normally once the sun is up Niall’s up so when I notice my son is sleeping in several hours yes I get worried, but he’s fine. He’ll probably be up sometime soon so how about you shut up and let me sleep, yeah?” Zayn rolls back over, away from Harry and throws the blankets over his face. Harry waits several minutes before he hears the even sounds of Zayn’s breathing and knows that he's asleep. He wraps an arm around the older boy, burying his face in the back of Zayn’s neck and slotting their legs together before drifting off himself.

When Zayn wakes up the bed is empty. He can hear little feet running down the hallway and small giggles escaping his son’s mouth. He can also faintly make out the hushed whispers of Harry. He carefully climbs out of bed and follows the noises. He’s surprised when Niall comes running from his bedroom, carrying a wad of markers in his hands as he makes his way back into the living room.

Zayn picks up the stray markers that are littering the hallway as he quietly makes his way into the living room. He peeks his head around the corner and smiles as he sees Harry sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the couch, Niall in his lap. He watches carefully as Niall begins sorting through the markers in his lap before uncapping one and pressing it to Harry’s bicep.

When curiosity finally gets the best of him he decides to make his presence known. “What are you two doing?” He asks, sliding down to the floor next to Harry.

“I color, Baba.” Niall says as he takes a second to look away from Harry’s arm and smiles at his father before returning his attention back where it was.

Zayn pulls a confused expression and Harry adds, “He was bored. And saw my tattoos so we decided they needed a bit of color.”

Niall lifts up Harry’s arm to show Zayn the scribbles he had done across Harry’s arm. “Color boat, Baba.” Niall lowers Harry’s arm and picked up a blue marker coloring circles over Harry’s ship tattoo.

“Looks like you two are having fun.” Zayn says as he slides down onto the floor next to the two.

Harry nods, leaning his head against Zayn’s shoulder. “He’s very interested in tattoos. He forced me to sit down so he could inspect my arm.”

“Yeah well you’ve got a lot of stupid ones, who can blame him for being amazed.”

Harry turns his head around so he can bite Zayn’s shoulder. “I resent that.”

Zayn laughs and nudges Harry’s face towards his, bringing a kiss to his lips. When they pull apart he smiles. “So you just let him color on you?”

Harry nods. “Can't really tell him no, can I? Also, he woke up with a wet diaper so I changed it and I fed him so you’ll have to feed yourself.”

Zayn pulls away shocked. “How long have you two been awake?”

“Um, about an hour and a half.” He shrugs. 

“Harry no move. You ruin.” Niall frowns as he caps the blue marker and picked up the red. 

“Sorry, Ni.”

Zayn nods as he leans his head against Harry's shoulder so he can watch Niall. “So I was thinking, we should really figure out how to help Liam and Louis how to make up. Because if not Louis is going to be over here shortly and he’s going to be a miserable mess and probably spend the day following Niall around.”

Harry laughs. “I told you once they’re in a room together someone will cave. But you get Louis here and I’ll take care of Liam. Besides it’s kind of my fault that Liam is so angry with you in the first place, but I’ll fix it and then you can worry about getting Louis here. Once they’re in the same room together it’ll have fixed itself. I promise.”


	16. Chapter 16

Zayn checks his phone for the tenth time since Louis has arrived, grateful that Niall liked to have the attention on him so much that as soon as Louis walked through the door he had dragged him back to his bedroom. Zayn can hear them throwing things around and he can only assume they're making a horrific mess, but he can't be bothered to go in and lecture Louis on the importance of being a positive role model for Niall because Harry has finally texted him back, saying that he's nearing Zayn's apartment now. 

He's sat in the window, chewing on his fingers and staring out of the curtains waiting to see Harry's car. When it finally pulls up, he watches as Liam and Harry make their way up and Zayn has the door open. He smiles shyly at the pair of them, waving them both inside of the house. 

Liam sits down on the couch while Harry makes his way down the hall, following the noise of Niall and Louis. Zayn can hear shrieks of surprise coming from Louis and Zayn wonders briefly if he should go in and check on them. But he's surprised himself when Harry comes back moments later with Louis draped over his shoulder, kicking and muttering curses under his breath. Nialls running in behind them, holding his bear in his arms, eyes wide. He looks around frantically before rushing across the room, diving into Zayn's open arms. 

Zayn gently strokes his fingers through Niall's hair, whispering soothing reassurances that everything is going to be okay, that despite how scary it was to see Louis being dragged out his bedroom by Harry that they were doing nothing more than playing, just being silly. 

"Now, you two idiots are being ridiculous," Harry says, tossing Louis onto the couch. "No one breaks up because someone else had a fight."

"We didn’t break up because of you two morons, we broke up because Liam’s an idiot," Louis says, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away from both of the people around him.

Liam points indignantly at Louis. “So you see? Do you honestly see what I’ve had to deal with the past week? He can’t be reasoned with. I tried talking to him but this is what happens.”

Louis turns to glare at Liam. “Oh I can’t be reasoned with? Mr. Stick-Up-His-Ass says that I can't be reasoned with. How rich.”

“Yes, and name calling is for children, even Niall is more mature than you are and he’s almost two.” Liam rolls his eyes to further annoy Louis.

“You’re an asshole, Liam. Honestly, I hate you.”

Liam huffs out a breath laughing. “Oh that’s rich, this is all your fault, anyway. All I did was talk about how Zayn needed to man up and talk to Harry and how they needed to figure this out. You’re the one that decided you wanted me to leave. You told me to get out. Louis, you’re the one that caused all of this. Not me so don’t go blaming me for anything.”

“I believe you’re the one that said ‘I can’t do this anymore’ making everything entirely your fault!” Louis screams.

They continue arguing for several more minutes until a small whimper from the other side of the room causes them both to stop. Zayn presses Niall closer to his chest and turns towards his friends. “You’re scaring him. Both of you need to grow up. You both came here to yell at me about Harry. You both wanted me to see how unfair I was being and to give him a chance and I listened. So now you two need to stop. Louis, you’re in love with Liam. You came crawling into my bed in the middle of the night because you couldn’t sleep without him. Liam, you cried on my couch because of this. You know you’re going to get back together and all this yelling isn’t going to get anything solved. Because of this Niall is crying, I hope you’re both happy.” Zayn gives them both a harsh look before stomping off towards his bedroom. He faintly hears Harry telling them off for upsetting Niall but with a crying toddler in his arms, Zayn doesn't stay to listen. He slips into his room, shutting the door behind him and ignoring the rest of the household.

~~~

Zayn glances up when he hears his bedroom door open but frowns when he notices it's Louis. He turns his attention back to the book Niall was trying to read him and keeps his attention away from his friend. He hears Louis sigh and feels his bed dip. Niall pauses his reading to look at Louis before frowning. “Uncle Lou, no.”

Louis frowns. “Why no, Ni?”

Niall turns his attention away from Louis and looks at Zayn. He closes the book in his lap and crawls into Zayn’s. “Louis not nice.”

“Babe, no. I’m sorry for scaring you and making you sad. Uncle Lou would never mean to do that. You know I love you…so much. I’m sorry.”

“No yell. Niall not like.”

Louis holds his arms open and frowns when Niall shoves them away from him. “Niall, I’m really sorry, buddy.”

“Not nice.”

“Uncle Liam and I were being very, very stupid. We shouldn’t have done what we did. Now, are you going to give me a hug before you break my heart?”

Niall looks at Louis before glancing at Zayn. He reaches his hand up, beckoning Zayn closer, “He sorry?” He whispers into Zayn’s cheek, his voice just a pinch softer than his normal speaking voice, making it easy for Louis to hear what he's saying. 

Zayn nods. "Yeah, baby. Now what do we do when people ask for forgiveness?”

Niall jumps onto Louis and plants a kiss on his lips while hugging him around the neck. “It’s okay. You 'tupid, Uncle Lou.”

Zayn can’t help but let out a laugh as Louis frowns, picking Niall up and tickling his sides. “You should go in there and see Uncle Li and Harry, they’re in the living room.” He leans over the bed, setting Niall down on the ground, watching as he ran off towards the other boys. He turned his attention towards Zayn. “We made up.”

Zayn nods. “Yeah, what happened?”

“Um, basically I thought he broke up with me and he thought I broke up with him, but neither of us actually broke up with anyone.”

“I kind of figured it was something along those lines.”

“Yeah, I just wanted to come in here and make sure you two weren’t plotting our death. Niall holds a grudge worse than you do. I mean he called me stupid.” Louis pouts at Zayn, who only laughs, shoving his friend gently in the shoulder. “So Harry spent the night last night?”

“That’s none of your business, actually, but yes.”

“God, you’ve only been together two days and you’re already having more sex than I am. I really need to go home. Liam and I are going home. Don’t bother us for at least 3 days. We need to make up for lost time.” Louis says as he crawls out of Zayn’s bed, throwing a devilish smile at his friend.

~~~

Zayn wakes up feeling a coldness brush across his back. He frowns as he rolls over and ses the blankets tossed onto his side; leaving the place where Harry had been sleeping bare. He rubs the sleep from his eyes and frowns even more when he sees it's three in the morning. He can hear quiet voices coming from outside of his bedroom door. He notices the door is closed and he can't help but feel puzzled. He never sleeps with the door closed, just in case Niall wakes up upset about something and he needs to fully hear if his son is calling out for him.

He throws the blankets aside and slowly shuffles his out of the bedroom. When he opens the door he sees a soft life coming from Niall's room. He quietly makes his way the few steps down the hallway, slowly peeking his head into his room. The sight in front of him causes his chest to ache and he can't help but smile. Harry's holding Niall in his arms, rubbing his back and whispering quietly to him. He can vaguely make out what Harry is telling his son, something like how everything is going to be all right, that he didn't need to be afraid, and that Harry had him, he wouldn't let anything get to him. He can hear Niall's quiet sniffles, a sure sign that Niall suffered a bad dream. 

He watches as Harry continues to comfort Niall, pressing gently kisses to his head and lightly bouncing him in his arms. When Niall finally falls back asleep, Harry carefully lies him back in his bed. He kisses Niall's forehead and then turns off the light, moving quietly to not wake Niall up once more. 

Harry looks surprised to see Zayn waiting for him, standing in the hallway with his hands clasped together over his mouth. Zayn reaches out, pulling Harry into a hug. "Thank you so much. I can't believe you did that. Why didn't you wake me?"

He feels as Harry shrugs in his arms. "Thought maybe you'd like to sleep. He was crying and you hadn't woken up yet, so I took care of it. He just had a bad dream, kept mentioning monster and crying. He was so upset, it broke my heart."

Zayn tightens his grip around Harry, who has slowly begun walking them down the hall towards Zayn's bedroom. "You should have woken me. He's not your responsibility. I wouldn't have cared." Harry keeps holding onto him as they both fall onto the bed, Zayn wrapping himself around Harry, adjusting himself only so he can lie half on top of him.

"It's fine, Zayn. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to. I want to help. I wouldn't be here if I want to do these things with Niall."

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just…no scratch that thought. You’re the best. Honestly, thank you.”

Harry smiles, reaching up and wrapping his hand around the back of Zayn’s neck bringing their lips together. Their lips move together perfectly and Harry nips onto Zayn’s bottom lip, tugging his lips apart so he could slip in his tongue. Zayn crawls up on the bed so he was straddling Harry’s waist. The kiss begins to get a hint of desperation and Harry mewls into Zayn’s mouth, breaking away to tug at Zayn’s shirt and throw it across the room. He attachs his mouth back onto Zayn’s and settled his hands on Zayn’s hips, digging his fingers into the skin.

Harry pulls away when he feels Zayn’s fingers slowly dipping into the waistband of his boxers. “Babe, wait. Zayn, are you sure?”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Harry, not like we haven’t done this before.”

“I know, but I don't want to fuck this up. I really want this to work without complications.”

“If you keep talking you’re going to fuck this up. You talking right now is a complication. Now shut up.”

Harry laughs as he reattached his lips onto Zayn’s; this time letting Zayn inch his boxers down.

~~~

The next morning Zayn woke up alone, again. He could hear loud noises coming from the kitchen and before he could make it out of bed he heard a loud bang following by Harry’s voice. He's just about to open his door when Harry rips it open. “No, no, no you can’t be awake. Go back to bed and go to sleep, or fake it.”

Zayn cocks an eyebrow. "Um…okay? Why exactly am I fake sleeping?”

“Niall woke up this morning and was hungry, then decided he wanted to feed you in bed like people do on TV so if you’re awake you’re going to spoil it. Now get back in that bed and keep your eyes closed.”

Zayn watches as Harry quickly runs out of the room, closing the door behind him. He sighs as he slips back into bed. He can hear Niall and Harry’s giggles and smiles as he grabbed his phone. He texts Louis asking how things were going with Liam. Louis’ reply is almost instant: **it’s good!! He’s so boring though, wants to spend the day in bed :( I need to be out**

_It’s only eight in the morning_

**Shut up, you’re just as boring as Liam. Now what are you and my baby doing? I miss Niall already**

_Actually Harry and Niall are making me breakfast. I’m supposed to be asleep._

**WHAT DO YOU MEAN MAKING YOU BREAKFAST???**

_I mean they’re in the kitchen cooking and I’m in bed waiting ?_

**I don’t believe he’s there.....again!!!!**

_He’s only been here for two days. Stop acting like it's something bigger than what it is_

**You little slut! I cannot believe you! I want details when I see you but not now because Liam is getting clingy and won’t stop nagging me.**

Before Zayn has a chance to reply he hears two sets of feet making their way towards his door. He hears Niall telling Harry that he has to open the door but he wants to wake Baba and he wants to give him the plates. Zayn quickly rolls over and closes his eyes, trying to keep a straight face as he hears the door open shortly followed by the feeling of someone crawling across the bed.

“Baba, no sleep. Baba, up.” He feels Niall tugging on his arm. Opening his eyes, he's met with Niall’s face a few inches from his smiling. “Baba, no sleep.”

Zayn yawns dramatically and reaches out for Niall, pulling their bodies together. “Good morning, baby.”

Niall giggles. “Baba, I  s’prise.”

“You got me a surprise?”

Niall nods and points across the room towards Harry. “I cooks.” Niall squirms out of Zayn’s grasp and crawls across the bed, taking a plate from Harry.

Zayn quickly sits up, taking the plate from Niall’s hands, smiling at the pancakes, eggs and sausage placed in his lap. “You made this for me?”

Niall nods as he sat down next to Zayn, resting his elbow on his father’s thigh. “Yes, Baba. I cooks. Harry not. Niall cooks.”

Harry slides into bed next to Niall and set the child’s plate on his lap. “Be careful,” he warns, watching Niall squirming around.

The three eat together in silence and Zayn tries not to grimace every time he watches Niall drop syrup onto his bedspread. But Zayn couldn't be happier, watching as Harry helps Niall cut his food, sneaking him bites of his own as Zayn pretends not to notice. 


	17. Chapter 17

Zayn races around his apartment trying to find where he last left his work pants; he’s never had to work a Saturday before. They know not to call him in because of Niall. He begged and pleaded with them to not make him come into the diner especially since his shift was only going to be three hours long. It was not long enough for Zayn to see any reason to find someone to watch Niall, and it wasn’t long enough for his bosses to see reason for why he needed to get coverage.

He can hear Niall chanting in the kitchen about wanting more juice. He pulls his phone from his pocket and dials Harry’s number as he grabs the cup from Niall. He begs Harry silently to please answer the phone, please help Zayn out, as he pours the juice into the cup. Just as he's about to hang up he hears Harry’s gravely voice. “Hello?”

Zayn breathes the biggest sigh of relief of his life at hearing Harry’s voice. He passes the cup to Niall before speaking. “Please tell me you’re not doing anything. Please, please, please, Harry. What are you doing today?”

“Um well, I just woke up.” Zayn can hear the rustling noise of Harry moving his blankets around. “Why, did you need me?”

“Oh my god, yes. I do,” Zayn groans into the phone. “I got called into work and they won’t let me get off and no one can watch Niall. I called my mom and she’s still with my aunt, and Liam took Louis to go meet his family. I don’t want to ask Ed, sometimes he’s flaky and it’s only for three hours. You can do whatever you want afterwards but can you, please?”

He hears Harry let out a breathy laugh before speaking. “Zayn chill out. Gimme ten minutes, yeah? Should I stop and get Niall food or has he eaten?”

“No he hasn’t, but he’s hungry. I can make him something.”

He can hear noise on the other line followed by a closing door and a rustling of keys. “I’m going to be there soon. I’ll pick up food. I’m on my way. Relax.”

~~~

Five minutes later than planned Harry let’s himself into Zayn’s apartment. Zayn’s finishing getting ready but he can hear Niall shouting at Harry, how they’re going to play together and have a fun day. He pulls his shoes on and joins the other two in the kitchen.

He sees Harry helping Niall into a chair and placing a plate of food in front of him. He smils at Zayn when he enters.

Zayn rushs around the room and quickly kisses them both before hurrying out the door, not muttering a single word as he runs out.

~~~

Zayn’s shift quickly changes from three to five hours. And before he lets it go on any longer he tells he’s boss that he’s leaving. He leaves with no one working register but it’s the furthest thing from his mind when he knows he promised Harry only three hours and he hasn’t seen Niall all day. He realizes, as he’s walking down his block, that his phone had died hours ago, meaning that any possible messages from Harry have gone unanswered. He curses under his breath and hopes and prays that everything went okay for his son and boyfriend.

All hopes and prayers are blown out the window when he opens his front door and hears Niall screaming louder than he’s ever heard before. He can tell the screaming is coming from down the hall, most likely from either his or Niall’s bedroom. He can hear Harry trying to talk to Niall. He closes the door behind him and sees that his apartment is in a tattered state. He can tell that something happened here, but he has no idea what though.

He peeks down the hallway and sees Harry crouched down on the floor outside of his bedroom pleading with Niall to open the door. He watches as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. He hears Harry groan into the phone and say, “Z, um it’s me again. If you get this please come back. Please, Niall is freaking out. Please.”

Before he has a chance to hang up Zayn replies, “what happened?”

“Oh my god, Zayn, you have to get home, please. Now.”

“Harry, hang up the phone.” Harry blinks at his phone before he realizes that Zayn isn’t talking to him through the receiver but rather from eight feet away. He scrambles to his feet and throws himself at Zayn.

Zayn can feel him shaking against him. He can hear how Harry’s breath is coming in short, panicked gasps. He pulls away and looks at his face and sees the terrified expression on Harry’s face and the way his eyes are rimmed red. “Harry, what happened?” As soon as the words are out of his mouth he hears Niall let out another ear piercing scream following by sounds of crying.

The sound of his son screaming breaks him from whatever thoughts he had about trying to get through to Harry. He lets go of Harry and makes his way down the hall. He tries to open his door only to find that it’s locked. He hadn’t known that Niall even knew how to lock doors. He knocks on the door only to hear Niall let out another scream, this one in the form of the word no.

“Ni, baby, it’s Baba. Open the door.” Niall ignores him and continues crying on the other side of the door. “Niall, open the door. Okay? It’s Baba. I’m home. Can you open the door for Baba?”

“Baba?”

“Yeah, sweetie, it’s me. Open the door, okay?”

He waits what feels like hours for Niall to figure out how to unlock the door and when he finally opens it he throws himself on top of Zayn. He’s crying and all Zayn can do is feel as his heart breaks, listening to his son cry while he soothes him. He sees Harry sitting at the end of the hall with his head in his hands gripping his hair. He figures he’ll deal with one of his boys at a time.

It takes nearly five minutes for Niall to calm down. They’re still sitting at the opposite end of the hallway from Harry, who hasn’t taken his head out of his hands the entire time Niall's cried.

Zayn stands up still clutching Niall and pulls him into the privacy of his room. He sits Niall down on his bed and kneels in front of him, “do you wanna tell me what happened? Why did you lock yourself in baba’s room?”

Niall sniffles. “Baba not home.” He wipes his arm across his running nose. “Baba not here. Baba leave. Harry here.”

Zayn frowns. “Why, baby, Baba had to work. What happened? You were okay when Baba left."

“Baba leave. Baba no here. Not answer.”

“Oh baby, no. Is that what happened? You were scared I wasn’t coming back? I’ll always come back.” He reaches out and wipes the fresh tears that have begun to fall down Niall’s face off. When Niall nods he continues, “Sweetie, no. I promise. You know the diner? Baba had to go to work. I was there and Harry was watching you like Uncle Lou and Li do or how Mammie does.”

“Left,” Niall cries.

“Niall you know Baba would never leave you, ever. I’d never let anyone take you. No one. Okay? You know that, right? Baba will always be here.” He brushes Niall’s hair off of his forehead and places a gentle kiss to the exposed skin. “Come on, let’s lie down. It’s bedtime and you’re tired. Did Harry give you dinner?”

“Chicken,” Niall murmurs, crawling under the blankets of his bed when Zayn sets him down. Zayn tucks him in and sits down beside him singing Niall’s favorite bedtime song. When Niall finally falls asleep he presses another kiss to his head before making his way out of the room.

He finds Harry still in the same position he was when he got Niall out of his bedroom. He crouches down across from Harry on the other side of the hallway. He spreads his legs so they’re on either side of his body and waits for Harry to look at him. Harry avoids him for several minutes. 

Zayn frowns seeing how red rimmed and swollen Harry’s eyes are. He’s not sure why something like this would make Harry cry but he sympathizes with how Harry must be feeling. He crawls across the hallway and sits next to him. “Wanna talk about it?” He asks.

Harry continues looking across from him and not at Zayn. “I don’t know what happened. One minute he was fine and I was giving him a bath and he asked if he could say good night to you, so I called and you didn’t answer and he just started screaming. He ran down the hall and locked himself in your room. He was in there for over an hour just screaming at me to go away. He kept saying he hated me and that he didn’t want me to be near him. I don’t-“ he pauses and clears his throat, “ I don’t even know what I did to make him so upset. But, Zayn, he hates me.”

Zayn frowns at Harry’s words and intertwines his fingers with Harry’s. “He doesn’t hate you. He’s a baby, Harry. He get’s scared sometimes. And it’s nothing against you. He loves you, but sometimes he just needs his father.”

“No, he told me he hated me.” He finally looks at Zayn and Zayn can feel his heart breaking all over again. “He said that to me and I don’t even know why.”

Zayn stands up and pulls Harry with him. He drags him down the hallway and into the room they’ve shared the past couple nights. He lies Harry down like he did his son, pulling the blankets over Harry's body before he joins him, pulling Harry into him. One arm around his body, the other tangled in his hair. 

“I just thought things were going so well for us. For you and me, and with Niall, but I just- I don’t know anymore.”

“Harry, this is your first time alone with him. He’s not used to it yet. He did the same thing with Louis and Liam. You’re not the first person he’s gotten scared he’s stuck with. Niall loves you. He doesn’t even know what the word hate even means. He just knows he hears Louis hear it every time he’s upset about something. But I promise you. I promise you that everything is okay.”

“I don’t know about that.” Harry says.

Before Zayn can retaliate back at Harry he hears Niall speaking from his doorway. “Baba sleep with you.”

“Niall, did you get out of your bed?” Niall nods and Zayn groans because that means he has to buy him a big boy bed and Zayn has been praying this day would never come. That Niall would forever be stuck in his crib and Zayn would never lose his baby.

Niall crawls across the bed and curls himself between Harry and Zayn. He sighs contently and sticks his thumb in his mouth.

“I should probably go.” Harry says as he begins to make his way out of the bed.

Niall opens his eyes and whines. He stretches his arms out and grabs onto Harry’s shirt and tries to pull him back into the bed. Harry grabs his hand and gently removes it. “Ni, I’ll leave you alone with Baba. I’m gonna go home.”

Niall whines again and Zayn can see tears pooling in his eyes. "No. Not leave.” Niall pouts. “Not leave. Baba, Harry stay.”

Harry frowns at Niall. “But I thought you would want me to go home?”

“No, stay. No leave," Niall cries.

Zayn wraps his arms around and pulls him into his chest, rocking him the best that he can. Niall reaches his hand out for Harry, who hesitantly crawls back into the bed. He slides next to Zayn, and Niall goes back to lying in between them; his back facing Harry.

Zayn smiles and sticks his tongue out at Harry. His own personal way of saying he was right and Harry was wrong.


	18. Chapter 18

Zayn lies in bed longer than normal he normally does in the morning. Harry and Niall are cuddled together on the other side of the bed and Zayn can’t help but smile at the sight. They’ve only been together for a short while and Zayn can feel it somewhere deep inside of him that this is it. This is his life, and somehow along the way Harry has become a major figure in it, and he’ll stay that way for a long time.

That thought alone makes his chest ache and hurt; he can feel a pressure on his body so intense that he feels like he's suffocating. It’s an ache that he can’t quite pin point, but the longer he thinks about his life and spending it with Harry, the more he feels like he can’t breathe.

Thinking back, there has never been a moment in time where Zayn has stopped and thought, yeah this is it. This is my life and this is how it’ll be forever.

But lying in bed, watching as his son holds tight onto his boyfriend’s thin shirt, while he sticks his legs out so they’re touching Zayn - no matter what he always wants to know his father is physically there. Harry has an arm wrapped around Niall and the other shielding his eyes from the rising sun. And all Zayn wants to do is capture this moment and live in it for as long as he can.

Those thoughts alone are enough to scare the shit out of him.

~

“So I’ve been thinking. I think I need to head back home. To like my own house, ya know?”

Zayn freezes, replaying Harry’s words in his head as he helps Niall into his clothes for the day. He brushes imaginary dirt off Niall’s pants before standing up properly. “Why?” He questions, as he finally turns around to look at Harry.

Harry shrugs from his place in the doorway. “I mean, I’ve been here almost everyday and I just thought maybe I should head back.”

Zayn looks at Harry and tries to judge what his reasoning is. He can’t, though. Can’t think of anything. “That doesn’t exactly answer my question. Why?” Harry looks at him sadly before shaking his head. Zayn feels chest ache as he glares at the other boy. “Is this about yesterday?” Harry doesn’t answer and Zayn takes that to mean yes. “Um Niall, sweetie, can you go play in the living room? Baba needs to talk to Harry.”

Niall looks around nervously before nodding and running out of the room.

Zayn waits until he knew he was gone before speaking again. “So my son gets upset and throws what could be described as a fit and he scares you. I mean, yeah, it can be scary and probably traumatic being around a child screaming and crying for extended periods of time but-“

“Zayn, I went home yesterday morning and took a nap and it wasn’t a big deal. I don’t understand why you’re getting upset about me trying to go home. I don’t live here. I don’t need to be here.”

“I guess you don’t, do you?” Zayn nods and tries to brush past Harry, but he was stops when Harry grabs his arm and pulls him back into Niall’s room.

“No, stop. You know I didn’t mean it like it.”

“I’m not entirely sure I do know that Harry. I mean the morning after you try and run away from this apartment you’re telling me you think you should go home. Obviously you don’t want to be around Niall or myself right now. I get that. It’s scary listening to a child scream knowing that you can’t do anything to help them but is this going to happen every single time he gets upset when you’re around? Niall throws a fit and you’re out the door. Is that how it’s going to be? If you’re not ready for this then you need to tell me because Harry, fuck, this is me; this is my life. I live in a shitty apartment with a child who hasn’t learned how to handle their emotions in a way that’s not a tantrum. With a child who is still in diapers and probably will be for at least another year. I bribed him to do it once and now he’ll pee behind the couch if he thinks it’ll get him away from the toilet. But he’s apart of me so if you think you’re not ready for this then you need to tell me now because it’s only been a few months but Harry I can’t invest any more time with someone who can’t handle my son. I can’t. I just fuck I can’t fucking do it.”

Harry shakes his head and sighs. “Is that what you think? One bad day and you think I want to run away and hide from you two? Fuck Zayn, how many times do I have to tell you I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be? How easy it would be for me to just leave and never look back. Why is it you can't ever believe me?”

“ You said you wanted to go home. You said those words. You implied you wanted to leave.”

“Yes, last night I wanted to leave, but not because I don’t want this, because I do. I wanted to leave to give you some space and Niall some space. I didn’t want to make things worse for Niall if I stayed here last night. I don’t want to push myself on him Zayn. Because what if—I mean fuck nevermind.” Harry’s breathing heavy and Zayn can see a hint of desperation in his expression.

“What if what?” He asks. Harry shakes his head, as if to say he doesn’t want to talk about it. “No what were you going to say? We can’t have secrets with each other. I think you said that, so what if what?”

“What if Niall’s the one who isn’t ready for me. What if he’s the one who isn’t ready for my role in your lives? Have you ever thought about that?”

Zayn watches as Harry physically deflates and slumps against the wall. He doesn’t know what to do since the answer to his question was something he wasn’t expecting. He stares at Harry in mock horror because he couldn’t think of anything further from the truth. How could Niall not want Harry around?

“But Niall loves you. Harry, listen to me.” He carefully takes the few steps separating them and takes Harry’s face in his hands. “I know that what happened yesterday frightened you and made you question almost everything but it’s okay, yeah? Niall still throws these fits for everyone even Louis and my own mother. In fact the first night I met you Niall had thrown one for my mother. It's not just you. Niall just doesn't understand that I'll always be back. It wasn't you he was upset with. It was the idea that he'd never see me again that scared him.”

Harry smiles softly and presses a kiss to the palm of Zayn’s hand. “I know. I just really want him to like me. I just felt like I failed.”

“You didn’t fail. He still loves you. And if you really want to go home then you can. If you think you need a little break. If that’s what you need to get your head on straight again.” Zayn hopes that Harry can hear in his voice that while he understands if Harry wants to go home, it doesn’t mean that he wants him to leave because he was scared of his son.

Harry nods before speaking. “You know what’s funny about all this? I needed to go home because Nick’s out of town.” Zayn frowns and cocks an eyebrow at Harry.  “No, I mean Nick’s been dropping in and feeding my cat for me since I’ve been too scared to go home and leave you two here. But Nick and his friend Amy are going on a little vacation together and well, now I kind of have to go back home and feed my cat…So we basically argued for nothing. I just need to feed my cat.”

Zayn laughs and kisses Harry. “That wasn’t an argument, babe. We were just discussing things.”

Harry leans forward and presses another kiss to Zayn’s lips. Pulling away he keeps his forehead pressed against Zayn’s. “I kind of bought a car seat for Niall. I know you don’t have a car and you’re always walking places but I figured this was okay since if we wanted to go somewhere then we could bring him with us.”

Zayn steps back and stars at Harry in awe. “You what?”

“Shut up and come on. We’re going to my house for a change.” Harry laughs as he pulls Zayn out of Niall’s room.

~

Zayn's surprised at how nice Harry’s place was. He knew that working at a record company would yield a nice paycheck but he hadn’t thought it would be this nice. Harry lives in a small little two-story house. It's a light yellow color with rich mahogany shutters accenting each window. It has a garage and a fenced off yard and small little garden covered in small bushes and red flowers.

Walking up the steps that lead to the door causes Zayn to feel nothing but embarrassment to accompany him as he clutches Niall closer. Here Harry is living in a nice house with plenty of space and Zayn has been forcing him to stay in his tiny apartment.

The inside of the house blows Zayn away, far more than the outside did. He's completely blown away by the interior. Harry offers to take him a quick tour; showing off the kitchen, dining room, and small office that was located at the end of a short hallway that lead towards a bathroom as well. Zayn follows behind in a daze. He can hear Harry telling Niall to hold his hand as he walks up the stairs, Zayn following behind on autopilot.

Upstairs yields three bedrooms and two more bathrooms. Zayn's confused as to why Harry would need so much space for himself and a cat when Zayn has gotten along fine with Niall in an apartment that could fit inside Harry’s kitchen and living room, probably even less than that. 

He's broken from his thoughts when he hears a small squeal leave his son’s mouth. “Baba, cat,” Niall says, running across the room to pull himself onto Harry’s bed. “Baba look cat.” Zayn smiles at Niall and watches as he dives on top of the ginger colored cat, pulling it into a hug. “Love cat.”

“His name is Toby,” Harry says as he strokes the cat’s ears.

“Name Cat.” Niall says back as he tries to tug the animal away from Harry’s grasp. “Name Cat. My cat.”

“Niall.” Zayn warns. The more Niall enters his toddler years, the more he's becoming possessive of objects and people. And not only that, but he has a habit of naming things after their species. His stuffed bear named Bear and the Lion Harry gave him affectionately dubbed Lion, full name Fluffy Lion when Niall is particularly happy with it, are prime examples of this habit. “Niall, don’t hurt the cat, okay?”

“Mine. Cat mine.” Niall says as he leans against Harry’s pillows, pulling the cat into his lap.

“It’s okay, Z. Toby is really nice.”

“Not Toby. Cat. Name Cat. Baba, no. Harry, no.”

Harry laughs and apologizes. “I’m sorry. Cat is really nice, better?” Niall nods and goes back to running his fingers along the cat’s belly. “Niall, do you like my house?” He asks. The apprehension clear in his tone that he's nervous about what Niall thinks, if he likes the house or not. It's clear Niall's opinion matters to him. 

Niall thinks for a moment before speaking, “No toys. Don’t like.”

“You don’t like it?”

“Not for Niall. No toys. Don't like.”

“Oh?” Harry asks.

Zayn runs his hand through his hair. “Uh, yeah sorry. My mom has a bedroom for him, and when Liam and Louis take him for the night, they always stay at Louis' house because surprisingly enough, Louis also has a bedroom and his own set of toys for Niall. To be honest, he had the bedroom set up before I even had my own set up. Back when Amber was pregnant. So when Niall goes to other people's houses he kind of expects his own set of stuff inside of them already.”

“Louis made a bedroom for Niall before he was even born?”

“Yeah, he’s kind of been in love since he saw the first sonogram.”

Harry blows out a breath as he stands up from the side of the bed. “So what about you? Do you like it?”

Zayn pauses for a moment and looks around the room. He looks at the decorations that litter the walls and he looks at the pictures framed next to his bed. He walks towards them and smiles softly when seeing most of them are pictures they had taken together. Pictures they had taken of themselves around Zayn’s apartment and out in town. He reaches down and picks up the picture of Niall holding a plastic microphone to his mouth, smiling at Harry.

Zayn stares at the picture in his hand for a moment before placing it back down gently. He can feel his heart going at a rate that would alarm any doctor. The pictures of himself and his son littering Harry's bedroom causes his chest to tighten in a way he has never felt before. He turns around towards Harry and smiles. “Yeah. It’s really nice. I don’t understand why you’d want to spend all your time in my tiny place when you’ve got something so amazing right here.”

Harry shakes his head, he's not looking at Zayn when he speaks. “I have something more amazing when I’m not here, though.” Zayn has a feeling that the photographs littering his bedroom are a clear indicator of what's lacking from this house.

~

“Louis, what the hell are you doing here?” Zayn asks as Louis shoves his way inside of his apartment. Liam follows close behind, yielding two small bags and an apologetic expression. Zayn closes the door behind him and stares intently at Louis, who has thrown himself on top of the couch with Niall in his lap. Zayn can see that Louis is subtly checking Niall for any marks or injuries that weren’t there before. He's making sure that nothing has physically happened to Niall since the last time he saw him that Zayn hadn’t told him about. “Um Lou, Liam, anyone care to explain why you’re here with bags and pillows and... wait, are you in your pajamas?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Obviously I’m in pajamas. What else do you wear to a sleepover?” The duh in his tone is very much implied.

“What do you mean a sleepover?” Zayn turns to Liam in hopes the more rational of the duo will explain to him what's going on. Liam merely shrugs his shoulders and goes to join Harry in the kitchen. “Well, since your boyfriend is no help, why don’t you explain to me, Louis, what exactly you mean by having a sleepover.”

“Niall, your father is being a pain. Tell him to leave me alone.”

Niall turns his attention away from the television, which is playing cartoons in order to keep him entertained while Zayn helps Harry in the kitchen, and stares at Louis and Zayn. He shakes his head and says, “No say Baba.”

“You’ve turned my godson against me?” Louis asks as he glares at Zayn. “He’s my very best friend in the entire world and you’ve turned him against me? That’s cruel even for you, Malik. Now to answer your question: Liam and I decided that we haven’t seen you enough. So we’re here to spend some quality time with our three favorite boys.”

“So you invited yourself over to sleep on my couch?” Louis nods and shifts his position so he's lying down, pulling Niall with him to lie across his chest. “I guess I’ll tell Harry to make two more servings tonight.”


	19. Chapter 19

Zayn glares from across the living room as he watches Louis plop himself into Liam’s lap. Liam easily moves his dinner plate out of the way and then brought it back to accommodate Louis’ body on top of his. He watches them as they eat their meal this way for several minutes before speaking, “are you really going to eat your meal sitting on his lap?” He asks as he feeds Niall another bite.

Louis rolls his eyes at him before speaking, “we eat like this every time we watch television and eat our meals. It’s called being romantic. Besides do you really think that Liam would let me do this if it bothered him so much?”

“Um yeah I really do.” Harry responds for Zayn as he gently rubs Zayn’s inner thigh before going back to his own meal. “I mean he lets you do whatever you want.”

“You should focus on how you’re eating your own meal instead of mine, Harry. You have pasta sauce on your shirt.” He smiles wickedly as he takes a bite of his own meal.

“Babe, stop.” Liam says as he shovels another forkful in his mouth. “Not everyone understands having to eat with someone else in their lap.” He presses a kiss to Louis’ shoulder before eating again.

Louis turns and smiles smugly at Zayn before leaning back into Liam’s chest. He makes sure to feed Liam any chance he can with a backwards glance to Zayn in hopes of annoying his best friend as much as possible.

~

“Baba I help, okay?” Niall holds his arms up in the air and waits for Zayn to put him on the counter. When Zayn places him on it he gives him a towel to help dry the dishes that Zayn is washing. It doesn’t matter he’ll load them into the dishwasher anyway but it makes Niall feel good to help.

“Be careful baby don’t drop the plates, okay?” Zayn passes his son a plate and tries not to flinch when Niall waves it in the air as he tells his father that he’s careful.

They’re done with the pre-rinse and Niall’s attempt at drying and Zayn is loading them in the dishwasher when Niall asks, “Baba you mommy?” Zayn drops the silverware he’s holding and listens as it clinks across the dishwasher and floor. “Baba that’s not careful.”

Zayn cleans it up and hopes that Niall won’t ask him the mommy question again. He makes it through the dishes and manages to get Niall into the bath before he asks again.

“Baba you mommy?” Niall pauses his splashing to look at his father.

“Why do you, um, why do you ask that sweetie?” Zayn grabs the shampoo and begins to massage it into Niall’s hair.

“Seanie say mommy. You mommy?”

“No Ni, I’m not your mommy. I’m your Baba. Mommies are girls.”

“You daddy?”

Zayn rinses his hair out of the soapy suds and adds the baby conditioner in order to make Niall’s hair soft. “Baba is a daddy, yeah. But you don’t call me daddy. You say Baba instead.”

“I like say daddy.”

Zayn hums in response so he can rinse his hair out a second time before he washes his body. Niall doesn’t mention mommies or daddies again through out the remainder of his bath.

He’s all dresses up in his little onesie that has a hood attached to make him look like a bear, complete with little ears attached to the hood and attachments to cover his hands so it looks like he has paws. It was his idea to wear it tonight so he can show it off to Louis, Liam and Harry.

When Zayn finally has him all dressed does he speak again with a quick “Thanks daddy” before running back into the living room.

Zayn stops and leans against the wall with a new wave of exhaustion and a twinge in his heart that he thinks is from his son now abandoning ‘Baba’. He remembers when Niall was just beginning to talk and he adamantly insisted that Zayn was Baba and wouldn’t and has never muttered the words ‘dada’ or ‘dad’ or ‘daddy’ until now. It was always Baba. And learning that his son has abandoned it has caused an increased pressure in his chest.

~

It’s past Niall’s bedtime but Zayn knows he won’t go to bed with having all these people out. He’ll end up dropping some place on the floor more than likely some place Louis will drop as well and they’ll curl into each other and fall asleep. Until Liam and Zayn come and grab their respective boy and take them to wear they need to sleep for the night.

So Zayn sits on the couch and watches as Louis and Niall dance around the living room and sings songs as loud as they can. He can tell he’s becoming a recluse and that he’s a little too inside of his head for a sleepover.

Harry joins the singing and dancing and Liam comes and joins him on the couch while he laughs and cheers on the three boys.

“So you gonna say what’s on your mind or are you just going to sit here all night with your head in the clouds?” Liam says and he nudges Zayn in the arm. Zayn shakes his head and doesn’t answer. “We’re going to go make ice cream. You three keep dancing.” He stands up and pulls Zayn with him into the kitchen. When he begins scooping ice cream into bowls he says, “What’s the problem?”

“Niall, he, um, well, he asked about moms and dads and he’s now calling me daddy.”

“So you’re upset because he asked about parents or because he changed your name?”

“Probably both I guess. I mean he’s never really noticed that other people have parents. I mean he knows you guys call me Zayn and he calls me, well called me, Baba. But he never asked what I was before so he said he heard a friend say mommy and daddy so he asked which one I was.”

Liam nods sympathetically and pats Zayn on the shoulder. “I’m sure it’s hard I mean obviously I don’t have any idea. I don’t think Louis wants to have children, which is fine I mean we’re not ready for them anyway but I can imagine that when you do have them it’s got to be hard when they do something like that. You know like when they go from dada to daddy to just dad and then you’re forever just dad. But you’ll always be his Baba. I’m sure in a few days he’ll stop with the daddy and go back. Remember when he called me Eum instead of Liam for a couple weeks. It’ll be fine, but in the mean time you need to go out and feed your son his ice cream and just have a good time, okay?”

“Yeah…yeah you’re right. Sorry.” He pulls Liam into a hug and grabs his bowl and Niall’s. He sees Liam pick up the other three and follow behind him.

~

They all wind up falling asleep on the living room floor. Zayn is curled into Harry next to the couch. Louis is sprawled out next to them with an arm over across Zayn and the rest of him facing Liam who is pushed against the wall due to the positioning of Louis’ legs. Niall has his head resting against Zayn’s back and his feet propped up on Louis’ stomach.

It was a quarter past midnight when they all manage to fall asleep. Zayn’s surprised that Niall had been able to stay up so long. He doesn’t know the order of who fell asleep first but he can see that Harry is blinking awake and smiling lazily at him.

Harry slowly stands up and repositions Niall so that way he’s curled up with Louis won instinctively wraps his arm that was on Zayn around the little boy and pulls him closer to him. He curls away from Liam and instead brings his body so he’s wrapped around Niall in a protective hold. He pulls Zayn up and drags them towards the kitchen.

Harry pushes him against the counter and presses lazy kisses to Zayn’s lips and face and neck. They’re both still tired but Zayn welcomes the affection. He wraps himself around Harry and holds him close.

“You alright?”

Zayn nods and burrows his face into Harry’s neck. “Yeah ‘m alright.” Zayn pulls away and goes back to kissing Harry.

Kissing Harry has turned into Zayn’s favorite thing aside from anything and everything Niall.

~

It’s after breakfast when the mood goes back to being poorly. They had eaten breakfast in peace but somehow Louis and Niall have woken up with more energy then they know what to do with.

“Niall tell your father that you like me more.” Louis says after Zayn has told him off for getting Niall to do things that he knows he’s not allowed to do.

“No.”

“Niall what? No don’t be silly. Who do you like more me or Baba?”

“Not Baba, daddy.” Niall says and Louis frowns and looks at Zayn.

“He has started calling me that.” Zayn shrugs and tries to act like it’s not a bigger deal than what it really is.

“Okay so do you like me more or daddy?”

“I like daddy.”

“What?” Louis shouts and dives at Niall so he can tickle him. “Well you at least like me more than Liam right?”

“No Niall like Liam.” And Niall giggles because he knows that he’s going to bother Louis all day by not saying his name.

“You what? No. I don’t like those answers. Do you like me or Harry better?”

Niall throws his hands in the air and says, “Like daddy best.”

“Niall no daddy wasn’t an option. Okay you know what fine you like daddy the best. Who do you like second best? Me, Liam or Harry?”

Niall frowns, “Like daddy.”

“Niall you have to pick someone besides your father.”

Niall shakes his head and frowns. His face is beginning to show signs of frustration which means he’s close to tears. “But like daddy.”

“Ni, no it’s okay. He can be all your favorites so he can be first and second and third and your forth favorite. How does that sound?” Niall pouts and turns away from Louis. “No babe I’m sorry it was just a silly game. Louis was just playing.”

“Niall say daddy. That not daddy name.”

Zayn frowns and interrupts, “Niall, what do you mean that's not daddy’s name? Louis was saying daddy. He didn’t use my name baby.”

Niall looks at his father with a deep frown etched on his face before he points over towards Harry and says, “daddy name not Harry.”

The entire room stills and Zayn can feel that the oxygen has been knocked out his lungs. He looks over towards Liam and Louis who both have their jaws dropped open. Louis has his eyes wide and he’s staring at Zayn trying to figure out how he can diffuse the situation. Zayn looks at Harry who is staring at Niall.

“Baba.” Niall breaks him from his trance. “Baba, Uncle Lou say Harry not daddy.” When Zayn doesn’t answer he turns to Harry, “Daddy?”

The room is still frozen and silent. Niall can sense that there is something going on. He begins to back away slowly before he starts crying. Zayn quickly gets up and grabs his son. “You’re okay.” He repeats over and over again and Zayn’s not sure when it transforms from a comfort for Niall to one for himself.

Harry slowly gets up off the couch and walks over towards Zayn and Niall. He wraps his arms around both of them before giving them both a kiss on the cheek. “I gotta um I gotta go, okay? I need to head home. I’ll um we’ll um yeah I just.” He turns around and leaves the apartment.


	20. Chapter 20

Zayn stands frozen holding Niall in his arms as he stares at the door that Harry had just retreated out of. Niall is still crying and clutching tighter to his body. The collar of his shirt just below his right shoulder is damp from Niall’s tears. He can’t register anything that’s happening.

Niall has just called Harry his daddy and Harry fled.

He’s always known that at some point in their relationship, if it kept progressing, Niall would begin to see Harry as someone of importance and value in his life. There was always going to be a time where eventually Niall would think of Harry as a father. He didn’t know how soon that time would come but if Harry was going to stay in their lives, and Zayn so desperately wanted Harry to stay, then Niall would have dropped the daddy bomb.

He’s rocking Niall aimlessly in his arms in a vain attempt to stop the tears. He’s not sure how to comfort his son when he feels just as broken.

He’s broken from his trance when a warm hand caresses his arm, “Zayn.”

“Sorry,” he shakes his head and smiles weakly at Louis. “Sorry I, um, lost in my head for a moment. We’re going to go take a nap. It’s time for Niall to nap. Sorry to kick you out but we’re tired.” He smiles again and pats Niall on the back gently.

“Zayn, I don’t want to leave you here alone,” Louis pleads with him and it breaks Zayn’s heart that his best friend is always having to put him back together again because he can never seem to get it right with anyone.

He grips Niall tighter and shakes his head, “no really we’re okay.” He opens the front door and watches as they hesitantly leave. They cast him sad looks before he closes the door and leans his head against the metal.

~

It’s three days later when Louis finds him lying in his bed watching Niall sleep. He hasn’t gone into work or answered his phone for anyone. He shut it off the night before when he had seen that none of the 74 missed phone calls and 213 unanswered texts weren’t from the curly haired boy who walked out his door.

It’s a soft knock on his bedroom door before he sees Louis stick his head inside. He walks across the room and Zayn scoots over closer to Niall. Louis climbs in behind him and wraps his arms around Zayn’s slim body. He doesn’t say anything just holds onto him.

“He hasn’t called or texted me,” Zayn whispers.

“Liam said that he’s been coming into work but he avoids Liam and won’t talk to him or even make eye contact. I think he knows he screwed up.” Louis loops his head around Zayn’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s talk about this in the other room. Little Niall needs his sleep.” He stands up and pulls Zayn with him.

When they make it to the living room Louis isn’t shy about crowding into Zayn’s space. He pulls Zayn into him and attempts to hold him like he’s a small child. It’s the same thing he did when they were growing up.

“He’s scared to be around Liam so he knows that he fucked up,” Louis murmurs.

“He’s a grown man and he can do whatever he wants.”

Louis sighs and begins to run his fingers through Zayn’s hair. “You don’t have to pretend to not be upset about this. You can talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say?” Zayn pulls back from the comforting hold Louis had on him so he can talk to Louis properly, “I can’t afford to be upset when I have a child that is hurt, and confused. He doesn’t understand what he did wrong to make Harry leave. He knows that he’s the reason Harry left and it hurts him. And it’s my fault.”

“Zayn, no, please it’s not your fault at all,” Louis says as he tries to grab onto Zayn.

“How could it not be my fault? I let him into our lives and this apartment and I let my son get attached to him because I was stupid. I actually believed that he wouldn’t just leave. He kept saying and promising that he wouldn’t and then he just leaves. It’s the only fucking thing he said he wouldn’t do and he did it.”

“Baba,” Niall calls from down the hallway. Zayn gets off the couch to go and get him but before he leaves the room he turns to Louis and says, “just drop it alright?”

~

Niall and Louis are playing on the living room floor while Zayn watches a movie. They’re playing with Niall’s blocks and building them up as high as they can until they crash down. It’s one of their favorite games to play together because Niall never gets to be destructive when it’s just him and Zayn.

Zayn looks down at the precise moment that Niall begins to glare at Louis. He watches as Niall picks up a block and throws it at Louis. “Hey, Niall no you can’t you can’t do that.”

Niall picks up another and throws it at Louis again and shouts, “bad Uncle Lou.” He throws another block and then pushes over the tower that they were working on. He begins kicking the blocks and screaming.

He’s never thrown a tantrum quite like this before and both of them are frozen. Niall finally stops and begins to cry. He runs over towards Zayn and crawls into his lap. “Uncle Lou no nice. He go. Niall and baba stay.”

“Why did you throw your blocks at him?” Zayn asks. He’s torn between comforting Niall because of his tears and scolding him for lashing out. He decides to skip the latter and focus on what’s bothering his son.

“He no nice to Niall,” he rubs his face into Zayn’s chest as he breaks out into a fresh set of tears. “Niall hurt.”

Louis crawls across the floor and leans against Zayn’s legs, “where are you hurt sweetie? Did I hurt you? I’m very sorry if I did.”

“Niall mouth. Baba hurt.” Niall opens his mouth and points towards the back. Zayn looks inside and can see that Niall has three spots where it looks like teeth are about to come in. He goes to ask Louis to bring him a teething ring from the freezer but when he looks up Louis is already holding the frozen ring with a soft smile.

“Sweetie here you go,” Zayn says as he gently pushes the ring into Niall’s mouth.

Niall takes a free hand and holds the plastic ring in his mouth while he chews carefully. He forgets about his previous anger towards Louis and squirms his body around so that he’s positioned between both him and Zayn. He presses his back into Louis’ side and rests his feet on Zayn’s lap.

~

Zayn opens the door to find Liam standing there with a wide grin on his face and holding two take away bags. He asks if he can come into the apartment and Zayn rolls his eyes, because of course Liam would ask.

“Why did you bring food?” Zayn asks, following him into the kitchen.

“Louis said he was going to spend the day here with you and I wanted to make sure everyone got dinner. He said Niall has been having a rough day with his teeth so I also bought some ice cream. I figured it’s a nice way to help with the teething issue.” Liam drops the bags onto the table and smiles broadly up at Zayn.

“Did Louis make you do this?”

Liam laughs, “No he didn’t.”

Louis comes bounding into the kitchen and throws himself onto Liam. He presses a kiss to his lips and Zayn excuses himself so he can grab the plates and silverware. He places it all down in front of everyone’s seat and helps Niall in his chair. Liam loads everyone’s plate with food before he sits down himself.

They’re halfway through their meal when Niall shouts, “fuck.”

Zayn drops his fork and stares.

“What did he just say?” Liam asks the room at large.

“Niall say fuck.” He giggles and stabs at the vegetables on his tray with his little plastic fork.

“Why did you say that Niall?” Louis asks.

“Baba say. Niall say fuck.”

“Niall you can’t say that it’s not a nice word,” Louis says.

Niall looks down at his food before changing his gaze to Zayn who is still staring with his mouth open. Niall’s face drops and he begins to cry. He throws his plastic fork across the room and begins thrashing his hands around so his meal goes flying in every direction.

Zayn slowly gets up and brings Niall out his chair and walks him down the hall towards his bedroom. He sets Niall down on the bed and kneels in front of him, “Niall you can’t say those words.”

Niall pouts, “baba say.”

“Yes and I’m being a very bad boy when I say it. It’s a word that we shouldn’t say because it isn’t nice. Do you understand?”

“Niall say. Niall not bad boy. I no bad boy. I good boy. Baba I good.”

“I know baby, you’re my good little boy. But you can’t that word anymore, okay? Baba won’t say it either. How about this if I say it again then you can give me corner time and if you say it again then you get corner time. Does that sound fair? It was very bad we said it so now if we do it again we get in trouble.”

Niall thinks about it for a moment before nodding his head, “okay. No corner time. I go bath.”

“You wanna take a bath?”

Niall nods, “Uncle Li give bath?”

“How about you go run and ask him, and maybe you should say sorry to your Uncles for having said such a bad word in front of them. I’m sure they’re very hurt you would say that word.”

Niall hugs Zayn before he runs out of the room shouting Liam’s name.

~

“I think I’m going to spend the night here, if that’s okay.” Louis says as he passes Zayn a plate to stick in the dishwasher.

“Why would you do that?”

Louis shrugs, “I don’t know I just feel as though this would be where I’m best suited to sleep tonight.”

There is a loud splash from the bathroom followed by a loud squeal from Niall. Zayn ignores it and continues talking, “We’re fine here, really. You don’t need to watch us. I don’t want you and Liam getting into another fight over a failed moment in a finished relationship of mine.”

“Liam and I aren’t going to fight again about this. I’ve already told him that if he thinks what Harry did is okay he can sleep out front because I’ll chain him to a tree in his front yard and paint foul words on his body for the neighbors to see.”

“Did he think what Harry did is okay?” Zayn asks. He knows that Liam is his friend only because of the fact he’s dating Louis and he also knows that Liam probably considers Harry to be a better and closer friend of his but he hopes that Liam would be on his side for this one.

“Don’t be silly. Of course he thought that Harry is an asshole. Liam’s not stupid,” Louis says slightly offended.

Zayn hears another loud splash followed by Liam running out of the bathroom. Zayn glances a look at Liam and attempts to hold in his laughter when he sees that Liam is drenched with water.

“Your son keeps getting angry when I try to rinse his hair out. He fills up that stupid little boat of his with what and throws it at me and then slams his fists into the water. I can’t give him a bath when he absolutely refuses to cooperate,” Liam says and he’s almost distressed.

Louis breaks out in a fit of laughter and points at Liam, “you’re absolutely soaked.” He continues laughing before he says, “I have to go in there and see my little baby. What a little devil.” He brushes past Liam and goes to get Niall out of the bath.

Liam looks at Zayn and says, “I know it’s really not my place but Zayn Niall is lashing out and you need to figure out why. He never acts like this. Well I mean yeah when Louis riles him up so okay sometimes he does act like this I guess.” Liam frowns and pulls at his clothes.

~

Later when Zayn has finally gotten Louis and Liam out the door and he swore and promised on Niall that he would no longer ignore them or their phone calls and texts was he finally able to get Niall alone.

“Niall do you wanna tell baba why you’ve been acting up so much today?”

Niall shakes his head and refuses to look at Zayn, “no talk baba.”

Zayn sighs and sits down on the edge of his bed and cards his fingers through Niall’s hair, that's beginning to lighten, “baby, you’re not being yourself today. I miss my sweet little boy. Can you tell baba why you’re so angry today?”

“Baba I say no,” Niall grabs the blanket and tries to pull it over his head but struggles because Zayn hasn’t removed his hand from his hair.

“Please can you tell me? I can’t sleep tonight knowing something is bothering you. Are you mad at baba? Is that why you won’t tell me?” Zayn asks and hopes that it isn’t him that’s put his baby in such a foul mood.

“No,” Niall says as he kicks his way out of the blanket. He clambers into Zayn’s lap and wraps his arms around his father. “Niall sad.” Two words and Zayn can feel his heart breaking. Niall looks up at his father with a frown etched deep into his face.

“Who made you sad?”

Niall shakes his head and says, “Harry. Harry go.” He crawls out of Zayn’s lap and gets back into bed. “Hate Harry,” he says as he reaches out and grabs Zayn’s hand. “Sing Niall, baba.”

Zayn swallows the growing lump in his throat and sings to Niall. He sings to Niall and when he’s finally gone to sleep he kisses his little boy’s forehead and promises it’ll be okay.


	21. Chapter 21

Zayn shouldn’t be surprised that it’s three in the morning and he’s wide-awake rocking Niall in his arms. It’s breaking his heart to listen to his son cry because he’s in pain but there isn’t anything he can do. Niall’s teeth are beginning to break the surface and not even the teething ring can do anything to subdue the pain he’s feeling. It’s uncomfortable for him and Zayn prays that Niall will fall asleep soon.

“Baba, hurt,” Niall mumbles as he shifts his face around so he can press it into Zayn’s neck.

Zayn runs his fingers through Niall’s hair and says, “I know, sweetie. I know.”

Zayn softly begins to hum Niall’s favorite song to him to try and help him drift off to sleep.

It's several minutes later when Niall’s crying stops and his body slumps against Zayn’s letting him know that he’s drifted off. Zayn carries him to his own bed instead of the one in Niall’s room because it’s been three separate times tonight that they’ve woken up to try and soothe Niall from his pain and Zayn wants to keep him close.

Zayn finds he can’t really sleep without another body next to his anymore.

~

Zayn’s in the middle of his shift at work when his cell phone goes off; he hadn’t realized he had left it on until the shrill ring had startled him and a customer. He waits until they’ve paid for their food and he’s wished them a good day before he pulls the phone out. It’s Niall’s daycare and he can’t remember the last time he had gotten a call from them, “hello?”

“Hi, Mr. Malik? This is Susan, Niall’s teacher,” a high-pitched voice says into his ear. “I’m calling about Niall.”

“What happened? Is he okay?” Zayn turns around to look at Louis through the small hole in the wall and sees that his friend is watching him closely.

He listens as she explains to him that while they were outside Niall and another little boy, Sean, were running around and chasing each other. She tells him how Niall had tripped and manage to fall and hit his head on the ground. There wasn’t any blood but he does have a little knot on his forehead and he’ll probably develop a bruise.

“So he’s okay? Can I talk to him please?”

He hears a shuffling before, “Baba?”

“Sweetheart, what happened?” Zayn breathes into the phone.

“Fall down. Niall blue,” he giggles into the receiver. “Baba I blue.” Zayn’s body sags with relief at knowing that Niall is okay. “Baba, I play.”

“Okay baby, I’ll see you after work,” Zayn hums but he knows that Niall didn’t hear it because Zayn’s ears are hit with the sound of the dial tone. Before he’s able to put the phone back in his pocket, this time on vibrate, he hears Louis shout, “what happened?”

“Niall fell at school and hit his head. But he’s okay, he thinks the bruise has turned him into an monster,” Zayn says as Louis walks out of the kitchen with two plates full of food. Zayn follows him and slides into the booth across the counter so they can take their lunch break.

Louis pushes Zayn’s plate over towards him, “are they positive he’s alright? I mean he hit his head, and he’s just a baby.”

“He was laughing and his teacher said that he only cried for a couple minutes, probably from shock more than anything,” Zayn says between a mouth full of fries. Louis doesn’t look convinced and Zayn adds, “if it was worse she would have told me and Niall would have mentioned it as well.”

“Suppose you’re right,” Louis says but his eyes still hold traces of suspicion.

They continue eating in silence while Zayn’s thoughts drift. He wonders how bad Niall’s bruise really is and if he’s going to be up all night complaining about not only his teeth breaking the surface but also about his head hurting. He’s not sure if his body can handle another night with four hours worth of sleep.

“Are you thinking about Harry?” Louis asks.

“What?”

“You were staring out the window so I was wondering if you were thinking about him,” Louis shrugs.

Zayn stares and says, “actually no I wasn’t. I don’t think about him much.”

Louis nods, “do you think he’s going to come back around?”

Zayn thinks about it for a moment and thinks about what he would do if the curly haired boy came back, “I’m not sure. He seemed pretty startled.”

“Liam says that Harry didn’t come to work today, and that he’s asked for the next couple days off work. Do you think he’s going somewhere?”

“I wouldn’t know, would I?” Zayn says. “Besides I’m not worried about it. Niall’s teeth are coming in and I’m more worried about if he’s ever going to sleep a full night in the near future than I am if Harry is going on holiday.” Zayn’s tone is cold and when Louis gives him a look he adds, “obviously I care but Niall is here with me and Harry isn’t.”

“Fair enough,” Louis says between chews. “Liam keeps talking about having kids.”

Zayn chokes on his food that he’s attempting to swallow and wheezes out, “like with you? Already?” Louis nods. “Isn’t it a bit soon to be thinking about that? I mean you’ve been together almost a year but you’re not even properly living together.”

“He’s slowly been moving his stuff into my apartment. I mean we haven’t talked about it but I keep finding more and more of his stuff just littering the place- he knows that I don’t want to move, we have talked about that much. I don’t want to lose my place and his place is bigger but I’ve got Niall’s room and I’m comfortable there,” Louis says with a shrug.

“Okay so you’re kind of living together but what does that have to do with the kids talk?”

“I mean he doesn’t say ‘Oh hey Lou, I think I might want to adopt kids with you’ he just asks what I think about having children and if I want any and how many I want,” Louis says. “I mean I kind of just ignore him and mumble things but I’m not sure what to do about it.”

Zayn sighs and reaches a hand out towards Louis, “listen I can’t help you and tell you what to do but if you’re scared then you need to tell him, and if you’re not sure then you need to tell him. Regardless you need to talk to Liam, okay?”

Louis nods and gets up so he can slip into the other side of the booth and cuddle up to Zayn’s side, “I’m not really sure what to say to him.”

Zayn wraps a protective arm around him and kisses Louis’ temple. They sit together until Zayn notices they’ve gone over their break time by five minutes, and Zayn can’t afford to stay late at work, “come on, we need to get back to work, and you can practice talking to Liam with me."

~

“Baba!” Niall shouts as he runs out of the daycare center. He jumps into Zayn’s arms and Zayn tries not to wince at the sight of the bright blue bruise on the left side of his head. “Baba, I boo boo,” Niall says with a smile.

“I see that, baby, does it hurt?” Zayn asks as he places a kiss on Niall’s cheek.

“No hurt. I monster,” Niall says with a giggle. “Baba, we play?” Zayn nods and Niall is satisfied with the answer. He wiggles around in Zayn’s arms until he’s set down on the ground. “I walk.”

Zayn smiles down at Niall and goes to grab his hand, when he looks up he startled to see Harry standing in front of them. He grips Niall’s hand a little tighter and waits. He didn’t think he was going to see Harry so soon, at least not after Louis had said he requested the last couple days off work, and he’s not sure he’s in the mood to talk to him right now.

Zayn won’t admit that the sight of Harry has his knees weak and his palms clammy.

“What happened to Niall?” Harry asks with a frown.

“I fall,” Niall says. “Where Harry?”

“What do you mean?”

“Harry, be gone.”

Zayn watches as Harry swallows and lets out a deep sigh, “that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, can we talk?” Harry looks at Zayn with an expression that Zayn can’t read.

Zayn sighs, “not right now Harry, I’m tired. I’ve had little to no sleep and I need to go home and put ice on his head and I just really want to lie down and I’m not in the mood.”

“Zayn this is important.”

“I’m not saying it isn’t but I have more important things to do then listen to your excuses. I told you I’m tired so maybe another night.”

Harry groans and gets a determined look in his eyes. He stomps forward and kneels down in front of Niall and whispers something into the little boy’s ear. Niall smiles and nods and lets Harry pick him up. Harry gets a firm grip on Niall before walking towards his car.

“What the hell are you doing?” Zayn asks.

“Obviously you’re not going to listen to me so I’m taking Niall with me because you’re going to follow and if I put Niall in my car then you’ll get in my car. And when I take Niall into a restaurant so we can talk in a public setting you’ll come with. You won’t leave Niall alone and obviously I have to do something crazy to get you to talk to me,” Harry says over his shoulder as he keeps walking.

“Or you could stop trying to steal my son and we can talk when I’m not running on four hours of sleep with an injured toddler,” Zayn says as he begins to chase after them. “Harry I’m being serious."

He reaches Harry and spins him around before staring daggers into the taller male. He reaches out to grab Niall and growls when Harry takes a step back. He doesn’t want to hurt Niall by yanking him out of Harry’s arms but he’s really not in the mood for any sort of in-depth discussions.

“You’re unbelievable and I can’t even handle you right now,” Zayn huffs out angrily. He reaches out and takes Niall from Harry and tries to calm himself down. He’s seeing red and wishes that Harry would just leave them alone. “You just tried to kidnap my kid what the hell makes you think I want to talk to you?” Zayn shouts. He grabs a better hold of Niall and shifts him onto his hip.

“Zayn, wait-“ Harry tries to say but Zayn interrupts him.

“No you wait, next time you try to talk to someone don’t snatch their kid away and think it’s going to work in your favor. I can’t believe you.”

Zayn walks away and makes a point to not look back at Harry. He makes it to the end of the block and when he turns the corner Niall says, “Harry not good. Harry no listen. Bad boy.”

~

When they're sat down on the couch munching on pizza Zayn finally asks, "Ni, what did Harry to you?"

Niall plays with his toes and says, "Harry miss Niall." He grabs a cut up pizza slice off the place he's got in Zayn's lap. "Harry say play."

Zayn laughs, "yeah he wanted to play with you? But how did he know?"

"Niall lie," he giggles. "Harry not play." He goes back to chewing on his food and squeals at the TV when hears someone on it laughing.

Zayn tries not to think about the fact that Harry told Niall he misses him. He wonders out loud, "what did Harry say that made you want to go with him?"

"Harry go ride. Niall like ride car."

~

It’s quarter to eight when Zayn finishes cleaning the dishes and the kitchen from the dinner mess.

He’s worn out from the day and the stress of having seen Harry. He can’t help feeling torn between sucking it up and seeing what it was Harry so desperately wanted to talk to him about and wanted to keep Harry as far away from them as humanly possible.

He sighs because really he can’t find it in him to be angry at Harry anymore. He can’t imagine what it would be like to have someone else’s child call him their father but he also can’t seem to find it him to care how Harry felt. At least not after having heard Niall cry and say that he hates Harry.

His son will always come before Harry or anyone else in his life. But sometimes it doesn’t change how happy and complete Harry had made him feel.

Zayn is shakes himself from his contradicting thoughts when he goes to grab Niall for his bath.

He enters the living room and sees Niall lieing still on the floor. He thinks he’s asleep until he hovers over his son and sees the small trickle of blood flowing from his mouth. He begins to try and shake Niall as gently as he can, he’s still breathing and Zayn thanks the stars and the heavens above for that. He has no idea what happened but he feels his chest tighten in panic when Niall won’t wake up.


	22. Chapter 22

It doesn’t take long for Zayn to call an ambulance. He doesn’t have a car and he’s not entirely sure how good it would be to run Niall to the hospital when he’s unconscious and bleeding.

He gently rolls Niall over and gently runs his hand up and down Niall’s arm. He tries to control the tears rolling down his cheeks and watches when Niall’s eyelashes flutter but his eyes never fully open. He continues to repeat Niall's name and tries to keep his voice steady and his words encouraging incase Niall does wake up.

He rides in the back of the ambulance holding Niall’s hand and telling the paramedics how he found Niall and what had happened to him at daycare. He can feel Niall’s hand squeezing his back but his eyes still won’t open.

Zayn’s told that he’s not allowed to go into the room with Niall. He’s told that they need to figure out what has happened and if things go wrong they don’t him there stressing out the doctors who are trying to help.

He’s told that they’re not sure when or if he can see his son tonight.

Zayn’s never heard of a hospital before that has refused a parent access to their child. He’s not sure how long it will be before he starts lashes out. He just knows that he can’t possibly handle the thought of Niall in pain and alone.

He hopes that Niall keeps his little eyes closed until Zayn is there with him to let him know that he’s safe and to tell him that the people crowding him aren’t going to hurt him.

But Niall is brave and Niall is strong. Zayn thinks if there was ever a little boy that could recover immediately it’s Niall.

~~

“I need to know where my son is,” Zayn demands as he slams his fists down on the nurses’ station. “You can’t just take him away from me and not tell me any information.”

“Sir, I’m going to need you to calm down. What is your son’s name?”

Zayn stares at the nurse with her fake smile and dyed red hair and tries not to reach over the counter and drag her over it. “For the hundredth time, his name is Niall Malik and he’s been in there, by himself, for an hour. He’s scared,” Zayn says and tries to refrain from letting his voice take on the form of a growl.

The nurse types some things into the computer below her and makes a clicking noise with her tongue, “the doctor hasn’t given me any information regarding the patient. So, I’m going to have to ask you to please go and take your seat and wait until the doctor comes out.” She smiles politely before getting out of her chair to walk to the back of the station.

Zayn grabs his hair and lets out a groan before walking back into the waiting room. He can feel his chest rising and falling with anxiety and waiting to know what was happening.

Zayn slinks down into one of the plastic chairs and pulls out his phone. He presses the familiar speed dial number to his best friend and prays that he answers. He’s not sure why he had forgotten to call Louis before now, but he knows that if his friend finds out later that Niall had been admitted to the emergency room without his knowledge that Zayn will be dead.

He gets the sound of his voicemail and waits until he’s allowed to talk before saying, “Lou, um it’s me. Listen, I’m at the hospital right now. Niall’s been admitted. I don’t. I don’t even know what happened to him. I found him in the living room on the floor and there was just blood and fuck- you just really need to get here. We’re at St. Anthony’s in the emergency department. Just please, and if you can stop by my place and get his bear and lion and his blanket. Just, fuck, please.”

Zayn considers calling Liam but decides against it. He’s already contacted the person he wants the most right now. And he knows it’s only a matter of time before Louis comes storming into the hospital.

~~

Spending hours alone in the hospital waiting room leaves Zayn’s mind wandering. Sleep deprivation is taking his thoughts to far off places but the one constantly streaming thought in his mind was the last time he had been inside this building.

It’s easy for Zayn to remember the last time he had ever set foot inside of a hospital. It was nearing the end of the hot summer months and beginning to settle into the pleasant atmosphere he associates with the birth of his son. It was 22 months ago in the maternity ward five stories up. He’s standing in the hallway pacing the floor while he waited for the all clear the he would be able to join Amber in the room for delivery.

The hospital is stark white and smells of disinfectant and the air is causing his skin to bump up. He’s pacing and trying to keep his breathing steady. He’s had nine months to prepare for this moment but he’s really not sure that was enough time. He pulls out his wallet and flicks through the five different sonograms of his child and tries to remember why he’s here and why he can’t run off in haste. The pictures of ‘baby boy Malik’ help to calm him down.

He hears the pounding of feet approaching him and looks up just in time to see Louis barreling down the hospital halls ignoring the glares of nurses and patrons. “Did I miss it?” Louis asks through pants.

Zayn shakes his head, “no but it should be any minute now.”

Louis drops down into the chair next to Zayn and smiles at the pictures in his hands, “I just finished hanging those up in his room. I also left a blank frame for his newborn picture. Do you think they’ll give you enough copies? I really want to have one,” Louis says. “Oh yeah,” he reaches down and pulls out an orange blanket from his bag, “I also brought this.” He passes the blanket to Zayn who inspects it and sees a little embroidered lion on the corner, “I got the one with the lion because it matches your jungle theme and my circus theme so no matter where he’s sleeping it will fit in.”

“Thanks, this is-Louis, this is great,” Zayn says as he continues to look at the blanket before he passes it back to the other boy.

“So have you two decided on a name? Now is the time.”

“No, she still wants to name him Eli James,” Zayn says.

“What about you?”

“Well I like the middle name but I’m not so much into Eli. I don’t really have any names that I like all that much. I mean, I like James so maybe we can name him James and work out another middle name. So far it’s the only thing we can agree on. But I was thinking of the name Oliver, but I’m not sure.”

Louis looks at Zayn before shaking his head, “those names are awful. No, I cannot have my godson named either of those.”

“Okay so what were you thinking? Since you’re so good at naming babies?”

“Niall, Niall James,” Louis says with a wide smile on his face.

“Like the river?”

Louis groans, “No, N-i-a-l-l, it’s Irish and it means champion, or that’s what this baby name book I read in the supermarket said. I really think it’s fitting.”

Zayn thinks about the name and tries to see if he can see himself calling his son that. He likes the idea of giving his child a name with a strong meaning, something that he can live up to. Niall James Malik, it has a ring to it, but, “I’m not sure about that, sorry.”

“Fine, name your child something like Eli or Oliver. Go ahead and settle.”

Zayn laughs at Louis’ attitude towards his indifferences as they settle into a silence amongst each other. It brings his nerves and anxiety to the surface again and he can’t help but practice the breathing exercises they taught Amber in Lamaze class. It’s supposed to be relaxing or some shit like that but it probably only works on people having to push things out of their body. He doesn’t think tension is one of those things.

The doctor comes out several minutes later and informs Zayn that it’s time to scrub up. He nods mutely and smiles softly at Louis before following the doctor.

It’s shocking how quickly the baby comes once Amber is fully dilated and begins pushing. It amazes him how little he actually does in the delivery room besides provide a hand for squeezing and a soothing voice to let Amber know how great she’s doing.

It’s when he hears the baby’s first scream and cry that he feels the world stop spinning. Everything pauses as he watches the nurses hold their child out in front of them before whisking him away to clean him off. He can't keep the smile off his face, and he kisses Amber on the cheek and thanks her for the beautiful baby.

Zayn is allowed to hold the baby first, and as soon as he looks down he’s met with bright, shiny blue irises staring back at him as the baby kicks his legs and tries to wiggle his way out of the blankets he's swaddled in. He scrunches up his face and wraps his hand around Zayn’s finger.

He lowers his arms down so Amber can finally see the person that they created. Zayn’s overtaken by the beauty of the child in his arms and the tiny body wrapped in blue. He’s the most fragile thing he’s ever held before and he can’t stop smiling because this is his son, this is what he’s been waiting nine months for.

“What are we going to call him?” Amber asks, and Zayn tries to think of a name that works for the most beautiful baby to have ever existed.

“What about Niall James?”

Amber smiles before slowly nodding her head and Zayn tries not to think of the gloating his best friend is going to do at having come up with the name for the baby he’s been dying to meet.

He hands Amber the baby so she can feed him and goes out to tell Louis about the birth. How he was six pounds and nine ounces and twenty inches long. How his baby marvels every painting and drawing in all the museums around the world. He describes in perfect detail every inch of Niall’s body and how, yes, they did decide to name him Niall. That fact had caused Louis to jump on his back shriek with glee.

He brings Louis back into the room when he’s told that Amber is done feeding and is about to rest. Zayn refuses to let Niall go back into the room with all the other newborns. He thinks that his son deserves the serenity of getting to stay with his parents.

He watches as Louis bounces Niall lightly in his arms and whispers how happy he is to finally meet him, and how he’s going to teach Niall all about being a little boy when he’s older. He tells him that he has a really great daddy but his godfather is probably a half an inch better than the real deal. Before Louis passes the baby back to Zayn he whispers how no matter what Niall will always be loved and appreciated.

Zayn takes Niall back and presses a gentle kiss to his forehead. He runs his thumb along the thin wisps of hair already showing on the top of his head and wonders if this is better than heaven. He can feel himself taking on all the sappy parental qualities that he likes to mock his parents about, especially his mom, but he can't really find it in him to care. Niall’s only been alive for a couple hours and he already can’t picture a world without him.

~

And Zayn remembers his last hospital visit because it was the day Niall was born, it was the day that changed his life. He remembers the day and how it happened and the feelings of joy and comfort it brings him. It’s not the same now. This visit is laced with apprehension and exhaustion and a body consuming worry.

The last time he was in a hospital his son was brought into the world and he hopes this visit doesn’t result in his son leaving the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a hospital worker and this is fiction so whatever goes in this world.


	23. Chapter 23

It’s two and a half hours later and Zayn can feel himself breaking down. He’s called Louis a total of three more times, and has even tried Liam’s phone but neither of them are answering. He pulls at his hair in frustration and begins to feel his eyes water.

He tries in vain to make the liquid not spill from his tear ducts but it’s futile. The tears hit him hard and he can’t stop crying in the middle of the waiting room. He can tell people are looking at him with pity but he honestly can’t find it in him to care. Not when Niall is alone in another room getting tests run on him. One of the nurses had come out and explained to him that they were going to be doing blood work, an MRI, and an X-Ray. All precautions to try and examine the 'child', as he called him, they want to be sure whatever happened isn't something more serious.

But what happened is something they have yet to tell him.

He can’t even remember at this point what all the tests are for or why she told him he couldn’t go back just yet but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that he just wants this to be over so he can wrap Niall in his arms and know, completely, that Niall is okay.

“Zayn, why are you crying? What happened? Is Niall okay?”

Zayn looks up and sags in relief at the sight of a familiar face and not one of the nurses coming back to tell him to keep waiting to see his son. He jumps up and sobs in the other boy's shoulder as he wraps his arms around him. The tears are coming harder, and faster. He can’t control himself and soon he’s coughing and choking on the emotions that are trying to seep out of him.

“Z, what happened?”

“Niall, he—I mean one minute he was laughing and I—he was. His body just lying there and blood and he—they won’t let me see him,” Zayn explains, never pulling his body away from the brunettes. No, instead he tightens his grip and refuses to let go.

“Okay, you need to calm down. Is Niall okay? Is he alive?” Zayn nods his head, and he feels the body he’s clutching sag in relief, “when was the last time a nurse talked to you?”

Zayn shakes his head, “I don’t know maybe half an hour ago when I almost jumped the counter.” He’s slowly beginning to calm down. He’s no longer feeling his body shake but there is still the ever-present trickle of tears slowly leaking from out of his eyes. “How did you know we were here?” He says as he finally pulls away and looks Harry in the eyes.

Harry smiles and says, “Zayn you’ve been calling me all night. Every message you either say Louis or Liam, but it’s been my answering machine. I woke up a half hour ago to your voicemails and oh yeah,” he loosens his grip on Zayn so he can show him the bag he’s brought with him. “It’s got Niall’s bear, lion, and blanket. I brought everything you asked. I even grabbed a couple books incase he got bored.”

Zayn starts crying again and chants a chain of ‘thank you’s’ over and over again in the skin at the crook of his neck.

They stand there, together, holding onto each other for another few short minutes until Zayn snaps into reality and realizes that Harry said he had never called Louis, “wait shit, no I have to call Louis. If he doesn’t know he’ll—it won’t be—he has to know.”

“Hey, hey, shh. Nick is calling him and Liam until they wake up. He’s on strict instructions to wake them up. Luckily for you he's a night owl,” Harry says.

And it feels a bit ridiculous that Zayn would start crying at something as simple as that but he finds that he really can’t help himself anymore. He’s physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.

Their moment is cut short by a tall bald man clearing his throat next to them. Zayn reads the name embroidered onto his scrubs, Dr Patterson.

“Are you the parents of Niall Malik?”

Zayn feels Harry shrug him off of his body so he can take a step back, away from the doctor and Zayn. It causes Zayn to frown. He can't dwell on the situation so he says, “I’m his father. Is he alright?”

The doctor nods and smiles at him, “yeah, he’s doing wonderfully. He suffered from a seizure due to trauma to the head. I’m assuming from hitting his head on the playground. But he’s bounced back and he was laughing and well all the tests are done so you’re welcome to come back and see him now. He’s asleep but I’m sure you just want to see him.”

“What about the blood? There was blood.” Zayn asks because he’s worried about why the doctor left out that detail.

“Sir, sometimes when people suffer from a seizure they bite their tongue, cheeks, lips, you get the idea. Niall bit his tongue pretty good and that’s what caused the blood. We checked every surface of his body on the inside and outside and there is no lasting damage despite a laceration on his tongue,” the doctor says with a smile. And Zayn’s body feels like it’s channeled the energy from the sun with the burdening weight lifted off his shoulders.

The doctor explains to him more about the seizure and ways to help Niall through another one if something should happen. He says he wants to keep Niall over night just to monitor him and make sure that another seizure won’t happen in the hours until morning. The doctor is oddly surprised that the seizure didn’t happen instantly. It’s rare for a seizure to be prolonged.

When the lecture is over he invites both Zayn and Harry back to Niall’s room. Zayn stands up from the chair he had sat down in to hear the doctor speak and turns to look at Harry, “are you coming?”

Harry sighs as he shakes his head, “Zayn I really can’t. I have to be somewhere. I need to go. I’m so sorry. Kiss Niall for me.”

Zayn’s about to protest until Harry shoves the bags into his hands and mutters and apology before running off.

~~

Zayn finds Niall in his hospital bed wrapped up in the blankets and curled into a tiny ball. He has an IV attached to his left arm and a thumb in his mouth. Zayn steps forward and pulls the blanket and stuffed animals out of the bag. He drapes the blanket over Niall and places the bear and lion on the pillow next to his head.

He carefully checks Niall for marks and cuts. He places his hand in front of Niall’s nose to make sure his breathing is coming out normally before he settles into the pull out bed attached to the chair in the corner next to Niall’s bed.

He watches Niall sleep and feels comfort in watching the rise and fall of Niall’s chest.

The image begins to slowly lull him into a sleep of his own.

~~

Zayn wakes up on the same pull out chair next to Niall’s bed. He can hear muffled voices that he recognizes to be Harry and Niall’s. He keeps his eyes closed and tries to keep his breathing steady to not let them suspect he’s awake. He wants to listen to their conversation.

He hears Harry whisper, “do you feel better now?”

“I good. Niall tongue bleed,” Zayn imagines Niall pointing to his mouth and smiling proudly at his battle wound.

“I know I can see you got hurt. Do you remember what happened?” Harry asks.

“I not,” Niall explains. “Niall go home?”

“I don’t know, sweetie. You’ll have to ask Baba when he wakes up. I think you can go home soon though. Once you're all better"

“Harry come home?” Niall asks. And Zayn doesn’t have to see the interactions to know that Niall’s question has caused Harry to frown. He wants to know if Harry will be coming home with him when he gets to leave the hospital. It breaks Zayn’s heart to hear because just a while before, he’s not sure how long exactly, Harry told him that he was leaving.

“No, I won’t be coming home with you. I have to go somewhere and visit somebody,” Harry says. "I couldn't leave without seeing you."

It goes quiet after that and Zayn’s not really sure what’s going on not when his eyes are still closed and he’s pretending to be asleep. He hears Harry sigh and the chair being dragged away from Niall’s bed. He carefully opens his eyes just slightly so he's peeking out through his lashes and sees Harry pushing the other chair back up against the wall.

Harry runs his fingers through his hair before he walks back over towards Niall’s hospital bed. He leans down and presses a kiss to Niall’s forehead and says, “Ni, I really have to go now, okay? I’ll be back though, and I’ll come see you and make sure you’re doing okay.”

“And baba,” Niall says with a firm nod.

Harry smiles softy and says, “yeah and baba, too.” He kisses Niall again before turning around and leaving the room. When the door closes Niall reaches down and pulls his orange lion blanket up to his face and nuzzles into it.

Zayn counts to twenty and slowly opens his eyes, “how you doing, babe?” He asks.

Niall perks up and doesn’t suspect that his father was spying on his encounter with Harry and says, “baba up.” He tilts his head and smiles goofily at Zayn.

~~

Zayn is lying in bed with Niall clutched close to his side. He made sure none of the wires attached to Niall’s body would be in the way and rearranged them carefully and strung them off the back of the bed. Niall is attempting to read him one of the books that Harry brought from their house. It’s a storybook for The Lion King but Niall has changed the storyline and basically just tells Zayn what’s happening in the pictures.

“Little lion sit daddy lion. It dark. They look at dark,” Niall says and points to the picture on the page to show Zayn exactly what he’s talking about. “Little lion no see with no daddy lion. They like white dots.” He points to the stars on the page.

He goes to turn the page but startles when their door slams open with a bang. Zayn looks up in time to see Louis storming into the room wearing green plaid pajamas bottoms topped with an orange shirt that is inside out and backwards. He’s wearing his slippers and Zayn tries not to snicker at the state of Louis’ hair, which is pushed up on one side probably where from his lying on his side in his sleep. Louis comes in shouting, “Liam, tell that nurse if she touches me again she’s gonna need a room of her own.” He’s running but skids to a halt when he sees Niall and Zayn lying in the bed. “My little baby,” he says as he walks to the edge of Niall’s bed.

“Uncle Lou,” Niall shouts but before he’s able to finish his sentence Louis has cupped his face in his hands and begins to lift up different body parts of Niall’s to make sure everything is okay.

“What happened?” Louis demands. “ I don’t see anything on him.” He rips the blanket off of Niall and begins looking at his legs. He spots an old fading bruise on Niall’s knee and gasps, “WHAT HAPPENED?” He bellows.

Liam walks in the room at that very moment muttering apologizes to the nurses as he closes the door behind him. He walks over towards Niall’s bed and asks what’s going on. Liam’s appearance is much better than Louis’, he’s wearing pajama bottoms but his hair and shirt are in order. He’s also wearing normal shoes instead of slippers.

Louis turns to him and points down at Niall’s leg, “he’s covered in bruises. They’re everywhere and he’s got a needle in his arm,” he gasps and stops and turns to Zayn, “if you tell me he has cancer I’m going to punch you in the face. Right here, in this room. In front of your son and everything. Don’t test me, Malik.”

Zayn rolls his eyes, “he had a seizure. The doctor says it’s probably from hitting his head at daycare. It’s some kind of post traumatic head injury, thing. I don’t really know. But regardless it was just a seizure. They don't’ suspect he’ll ever have one again but he taught me what to do incase he does.” Louis eyes him skeptically, much like he had done in the diner when Zayn had thought Niall would be okay, and he adds, “he’s perfectly fine. Now sit down and listen to the Lion King.”

“Little lion,” Niall corrects because he still doesn't accept animals having names besides the ones the species is given. “I read.”

Louis sighs and kicks off his slippers so he can crawl under the blanket with Niall and Zayn. He wraps his arms around Niall and reaches around so he can hold onto Zayn as well. He presses a kiss to Niall’s temple and when Liam is settled in the chair that Harry had previously occupied does he nod for Niall to begin reading.

Niall picks up where he left off muttering about how Simba, or little lion’s, daddy falls and hurts his head like he did because daddy lion thought it would be a good idea to play with black hair lion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm not a doctor and this is a fictional story so sometimes things get twisted. But what happened to Niall in this happened to my sister when she was younger...so yeah. But I spent some time researching stuff for this chapter and well I tried to put it use but surprisingly, or really not, I blanked a bit. 
> 
> Hope my lack of a degree still made for a decent chapter :)


	24. Chapter 24

Bringing Niall home from the hospital turns out to be an event to rival the circus.

Louis and Liam had both refused to go home. Louis had called Zayn’s mom and let her know about Niall’s stay and everything that has happened. He assures her she doesn’t need to come down but he does ask her if she knows anyone with the Department of Health and Human Services. He informs her that if she does they need to come down and make sure this place is up to par. Louis has spent the majority of the morning ranting to anyone who will listen how he is positive they aren’t up to code. It’s a top rated hospital but nothing is really good enough for Niall. He’s almost been kicked out seven different times. And every time Zayn has had to beg them to give him another chance.

Liam has taken the subtle annoying approach and is following around nurses and doctors asking for pamphlets and places that will teach them about seizures. Liam sits the doctor down for twenty minutes and makes him write down every step and precaution that will need to take place in the event of another one. He asks the doctor if there any videos he can check out at the library or books to read to help inform himself in the event this happens to anyone he might come across. Liam only stops when the doctor sighs and walks out.

And then there are the constant phone calls and texts from Nick and Ed who, thanks to Harry, have been awake all night worrying about Niall. They call his room every ten minutes for updates. Zayn really isn’t sure when Nick became someone who cared or worried about his son but he appreciates the effort considering a few short months ago Nick was trying to ruin his relationship with Harry. It’s a giant leap from where they were but he likes this side of Nick a lot more than the old one.

Zayn is left to sit on the hospital bed with Niall and watch as his friends make a nuisance out of their stay. It leaves Zayn to think about the only person in his life that isn’t contacting him, Harry. And it’s really not the time to think about how Harry had walked out only to sneak back in and disappear again before Zayn could see him. How it really isn’t the time to wonder what the fuck is going on with himself and he brunette. It hurts and it leads to deep pressure that is spreading from his heart to his lungs and his stomach. Zayn hopes that eventually the ache will stop.

And he doesn’t know when a good time will ever be to sit down and think about these things but he knows it’s not when his best friend is chasing after the nurse down the hallway to demand to know where Niall’s requested meal is.

~~

The doctor enters Niall’s room shortly after lunch to do a quick check on Niall’s vitals and to remind Zayn of all the steps he’ll need to take if another seizure takes place. Zayn nods his head absently because he’s heard this six other times when Liam has asked to know. And anyway it’s hard to hear the doctor when Louis is talking over him saying how none of this would have happened if everyone had listened to him. Or over Liam having to hush Louis every three seconds. Or Niall who is beginning to get whiny due to being confined for so long in a place he doesn’t know. Also, his naptime is slowly approaching and Zayn really just wants to get out of here before Niall throws a sleepy fit.

They get out of the hospital soon enough but Niall is pouting with his arms crossed over his chest the entire car ride. He’ll let out a loud whine and pushes against his car seat with every turn the car makes. He doesn’t speak to anyone or throw any fits just the occasional whine but it’s a sigh of relief when he falls asleep three miles away from their apartment complex.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to come inside and help you?” Louis asks for the fifth time. “I mean I know you’re both exhausted but I don’t mind helping.

Zayn rolls his eyes as he carefully unbuckles Niall from his car seat, “I’m positive, Louis. I just think right now Niall needs to rest and I’ve had a long night.” Zayn gets a hold of Niall and makes sure he’s secure in his arms before closing Liam’s car door.

He makes it to the entrance of his building and hears Louis shouting at him. “If anything happens you have to call me immediately. Promise you’ll call me. I don’t want to wake up to the sound of Nick’s voice ever again."

Zayn nods his head and shoots his friend a thumbs up before walking up the stairs towards his place.

~~

Zayn brings Niall with him to work the following day. It’s not the ideal setting for a toddler but Zayn is having some reservations about sending Niall back to day care.

He’s not mad at the day care or any of the care providers because he knows that children fall down and children hurt themselves. It was an accident and nothing could have prevented the fall from happening. Maybe if they had told Niall to stop running but even then Niall could fall from tripping over his own feet.

Zayn just wants Niall as close to him as possible right now.

He brings a chair next to register and sits Niall down on top of it. “Okay, now Uncle Lou is back there and he’ll cook us lunch but I got you snacks and juice in my bag,” he points down to the floor, “and we can go home in time for your nap, is that okay?”

Niall nods his head obediently and asks, “but Niall play?”

“Oh yeah, sorry sweetheart,” Zayn says as he reaches down into his bag. He holds out a coloring book and a little sketchpad he bought Niall so Niall can draw his own things and Zayn can keep it tucked away in the top of closet and remember all of Niall’s artwork. “Do you want to color or draw?”

Niall points to the sketchpad and flips it open to the middle and begins going to work with the markers and crayons that Zayn has brought for him.

The patrons at the diner all gush over how cute Niall is and how well behaved he is for being forced to sit in a chair for five hours and wait until Zayn’s shift is over. Niall blushes and hides his face in Zayn’s arm every time an older woman tries talking to him.

Zayn’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out to see a text from Harry,

_I’m sorry I didn’t stay at the hospital. I’ll be back home in a week. Can we please meet up then? Xx_

~~

“Maybe he wants to talk things out and try to make up,” Liam suggests. “But he told our boss he won’t be back to work for two weeks, which doesn’t add up to him saying he’ll be here in a week.”

“Obviously he wants to talk but I don’t know how I feel about this whole thing,” Louis says as he slips into the booth and passes another cup of water to Liam and Zayn. “I don’t know if you should give Harry another chance. I’m not sure he really deserves one.”

“It’s not really up to you, Louis. You don’t have to feel any way about it. I mean, I at least want to hear him out,” Zayn says.

Liam places his hand over Louis’ mouth to prevent him from adding his input. “Ed said that Harry went out of town. He’s being vague about it but he said Harry told him it’s something he needed to do a long time ago. Whatever it is Ed thinks it’s important to Harry.”

Louis bites down on Liam’s hand and shoves it off his face, “yeah and that's the thing. When people go out of town they usually tell someone. I bet he told that shit head Nick. We could sneak into his apartment tonight and we can all hold him down until he talks.”

Zayn shakes his head and sighs, “I really can’t believe I’m saying this but I don’t think that Nick is as shitty as we once thought.”

“Well why don’t you just forget about Harry and fall madly in love with Nick instead. No one knows what Harry is doing or if he’s even telling the truth about this. Why would you believe him now?” Louis asks. And really Zayn can’t think of any answer other than because he wants too. He doesn’t want to think that things can’t be repaired.

This silence is broken when Niall says, “Harry say check Niall.” Everyone shifts their attention down towards him. “Harry come home.” He smiles up at Zayn before he goes back to eating his grilled cheese. It’s silent after that. No one really knows what to say anymore about Harry or his mysterious departure.

~~

“Baba, bubbles,” Niall demands as he stands stark naked next to the bath tub. He’s holding the bottle in his hands and smiling at Zayn.

Zayn nods and says, “okay, we will don’t worry.” He grabs the bottle from Niall and fills the cap up with the liquid before tossing it into the tub and waiting as it fills up half way.

Niall begins to squeal with delight at the sight of the suds and Zayn can’t help but laugh as Niall shakes his arms and stomps his feet in a little excited dance. “Come here you happy little monkey,” Zayn says as he grabs a hold of Niall and gently lowers him into the tub.

As soon as Niall’s butt touches the surface of the tub Zayn hears his buzzer go off. He curses under his breath.

“Baba, door.”

“I can’t leave you in here, bud so we’re just gonna ignore it. It’s probably Uncle Lou trying to sneak in again. He’ll just have to find the spare.”

Niall giggles and nods his head as the knocking persists. Zayn ignores it and begins to quickly clean Niall off because the longer he waits the sooner Niall will get tired of the water and want out. He starts with the shampoo and maneuvers carefully around the fading bruise still present on Niall’s forehead.

“Baba, careful. Niall owie.” Niall points to his head and nods at Zayn seriously to let him know he has to be gentle.

“I know, sweetie. Does it still hurt?” Zayn asks as he dumps water onto Niall’s hair to rinse it clean.

Niall considers it for a moment before saying, “ice cream help.”

Zayn laughs as he runs the soapy washcloth over Niall’s body. “You’ve been spending too much time with Uncle Lou, haven’t you?” Niall smiles up at him and runs a washcloth of his own over Zayn’s arms. “Alright babe, we’ll get ice cream after your bath but only for tonight. Tomorrow you’re going to go back to normal foods.”

Niall cheers and shoves Zayn’s arms out of the tub so he can begin to properly play.

Zayn’s phone sets off a shrill ring from its placement in the kitchen. Zayn considers his options and then decides that it’s really not worth the risk of leaving Niall to try and figure out who wants him so badly.

~~

“Are you kidding me? Are you actually kidding me?” Zayn shouts as he stumbles into his bedroom with a sleepy Niall in his arms to find both Liam and Louis sprawled out on his bed with shit eating grins on their faces.

“Next time open your door or answer your phone and you wouldn't be so surprised to know that we’re here,” Louis says as he holds his arms out for Niall.

“You could have come out and maybe said something to us instead of sitting in my room and no-wait, Liam why the hell did you agree to this?” Liam smiles sheepishly and shrugs his shoulders.

Louis rolls his eyes as he gets out of the bed and takes Niall away from Zayn, “go and get into your pajamas and then come and join us. It’s just another sleepover. Only, this time we’re all sleeping in your bed.”

Zayn changes and crawls onto his bed. He’s left with the edge to himself that’s next to Niall while Louis is next to him leaving Liam on the other edge. It’s not Zayn’s ideal sleeping arrangement but with his friends he really shouldn’t have expected anything different. “You’re not sleeping here tomorrow,” he says as he wraps an arm around Niall.

“I sleep here,” Niall says. “But no Uncle Lou or Li.”


	25. Chapter 25

Zayn walks around the store looking at new beds for Niall. He’s officially out grown his crib and as much as it breaks Zayn’s heart he can’t keep letting Niall sleep in his bed.

Actually he can but his mother keeps telling him that it’s not healthy and that it’s important for Niall to have his own place to sleep. It was the one time he wanted to shove a sock in his mother’s mouth and tell her to shut up and leave him alone.

He loves her, but he loves being close to Niall more, especially when Niall cuddles into him at night.

And Zayn examines every bed with clear distaste. None of them are a bed he could see Niall sleeping in. He scans the store to try and find where Niall and Liam are. He sees them lying down on a pale blue bed with barred sides, to keep kids from rolling out, and space ship sheets.

“What are you two doing?” Zayn asks as when he approaches them.

“We’re testing out this mattress. I told Niall the key to a big boy bed is making sure the mattress is perfect,” Liam says as he tips his head up to get a better look at Zayn. “What do you think Nialler, does it pass the test?”

Niall shifts his body a bit before shaking his head, “no good.”

Zayn laughs and picks Niall up. He readjusts him so he’s on his hip and walks him over to the bed frame he was thinking about buying, possibly. He's still having reservations about it. It’s simple and the same color as wood even though Zayn’s willing to bet it’s made out of some cheap knock off material. “What do you think about this one?”

Niall squirms out of Zayn’s arms before lying down on the bed, his arms tucked behind his head and his feet crossed.

Liam can’t help but throw his head back in laughter as he pulls out his phone to take a picture. “Louis is going to die when he sees how cute he is testing out beds.”

“Or he’ll kill us for going while he has to work,” Zayn says as he looks down at Niall with his eyebrows raised, “well what do you think, bub?”

Niall smiles at Zayn and says, “not soft.”

~~

Zayn is in the middle of cleaning his kitchen as Louis chases him around the apartment shouting party ideas for Niall’s upcoming birthday.

Louis believes it should be huge and held in a convention center of some kind. He asked Liam if they could use the same banquet hall they used for Ed’s release party. He wants clowns and farm animals and he thinks that Niall would go along much better with his idea than with Zayn’s, which is to stay at home with just the four of them. Maybe invite Ed, and Nick. It’s really too many people for his tiny apartment. He’s having a dinner with his mom and Niall the day after the party so they can do something together as a family.

“And I think that we could fill the entire place up with balloons. Niall loves balloons.”

“Yes, what a wonderful idea,” Zayn mutters. “Let’s fill up a room with balloons and I can lose my son in a swarm of helium and your breath.”

“You’re really being annoying. Niall is turning two, he needs something big.”

“No, he doesn’t. You need something big. He’s perfectly happy spending the day here. We can go to the park or something. I’m not going to rent a place and spend a ton of money when I don’t need too. I work at a diner. Not all of us have the luxury of splitting our expenses with our record producing boyfriend”

Louis glares at him but before he can shout out a reply the sound of his door buzzer cuts him off. Zayn smiles at him before racing to go answer the door. Louis follows close behind him shouting about how rude of a father Zayn is being and how Niall will always remember the time he turned two and how awful it was.

Zayn’s laugh is cut short when he opens the door and sees Harry there. He’s smiling shyly at Zayn wearing pants that Zayn aren’t even sure are really jeans. They look like black paint and his shirt is unbuttoned to expose his collarbones. Zayn can’t help but stare at the expanse of skin.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Louis asks, effectively breaking Zayn’s gaze.

Harry’s eyes grow wide, “uh, hi.”

Zayn opens the door wider without saying anything and let’s Harry into his apartment. Harry slips into the door, a task proven difficult by Louis refusing to move out of his way.

Zayn closes the door and turns to Harry, “I thought you weren’t going to be back for another two days?”

“I came back early.”

“How convenient, “Louis mutters under his breath.

“Can we talk, alone?” Harry asks as he looks at Zayn. Zayn’s not sure but he’s fairly certain that Harry is afraid of Louis.

“Like hell you can talk alone. If you want to say something you can say it around me, Styles. Who do you think you are showing up here unannounced?” Louis shouts at him and Harry flinches with each word.

“Louis, it’s really not for you to decide. This isn’t about you,” Zayn says as he drops down on the couch.

“So you’re going to kick me out because he wants to talk? You’re going to throw me out?”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic,” Zayn replies.

“I don’t want to get in between you two,” Harry says with a frown.

“Oh for gods sake, do you honestly think you could get in between us? Don’t consider yourself that special?” Louis retorts.

“Louis,” Zayn warns. Louis turns to him and gives him a harsh glare. He knows that Louis isn’t happy with Harry, neither is he, but he can’t have Louis being an asshole without knowing the truth. “Harry, you’re not going to break up mine and Louis’ friendship. Nothing can, believe me.”

Harry nods his head and offers Zayn a small smile.

“Oh how fucking great is this. You fucked up, Harry. You did. Why should I leave when you broke my friend’s heart? Why should I leave because you’re too afraid of a toddler calling you dad?”

The room goes quiet and Zayn puts his head in his hands. Louis remains glaring at Harry who is standing there looking upset. Zayn is grateful that for whatever reason Niall hasn't come out of his room. He doesn’t want Niall to see Louis this angry or Harry this upset or himself this confused.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Harry says as he goes to make for the front door.

“Fucking hell,” Zayn shouts. He jumps up off the couch and grabs Harry’s arm before he can leave the apartment. “I have had enough of you running from me. There’s something going on and you’re going to sit down and talk to me about it.” Zayn grabs a firm hold on Harry and shoves down onto the couch. “Stay there,” he demands.

Harry wipes his cheeks and nods.

Zayn runs his hands through his hair and turns around to look at Louis, “you’re going to take Niall for a couple hours. You and Liam, just keep him for a couple hours. I’ll call you when I’m on my way to get him.”

“Zayn-“ Louis starts.

“No, Lou. I, this is something I can’t do with you. Harry and I need to talk about this alone,” Zayn says. He looks at Louis with his eyes pleading, “you can’t help me with everything. I can handle this.”

Louis nods his heads and goes towards Niall’s room so he can take him back to his house.

Niall comes running down the hall with a wide smile on his face and his shoes in hand. And Zayn kneels down on the ground so he can slip them onto his tiny feet before pressing a kiss to his forehead. He tells Niall that he has to be good and that he’ll be by to pick him up later. Niall nods his head and presses a kiss to Zayn’s lips before running across the room to hug Harry.

Zayn waits until they’re out the door before he turns to Harry, “talk,” he demands.

Harry flinches and tries to shrink into himself. “I’m sorry.”

“I get that but you need to tell me what happened.”

“I fucked up. I fucked up so badly. This entire relationship I kept promising I wasn’t going anywhere and I got scared and left. I knew being with you and you having a son meant that one day, at some point in the future, Niall might think of me as a parent. I never thought that it would be so soon. And it scared me.”

Zayn takes a deep breath. “If my son scares you and the thought of being a parent to him scares you then why are you here? There is no future with us if you can’t handle Niall. He’s not going anywhere.”

Harry looks startled, “what? No, fuck, Zayn. That’s not it. I’m not afraid of Niall or of being with you or of being whatever name it is that Niall wants to call me. I just thought I was ready for it and then it happened and I was so startled. I didn’t know what to do. And I walked out and fuck, it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.”

“I can’t pretend to understand how it feels. I can’t say that I know where you’re coming from because Niall is forced to call me his father. Niall was born my son. And I’m not saying that you can’t be afraid but if you’re going to run out every single time he does something scary then how can this ever work out?”

Harry looks horrified for a moment. And Zayn cuts him off from speaking, “Niall does a lot of scary things. Like, run across the park without me when he sees something he likes. Or after a bath or after I mop he likes to run across the wet floor. He eats his food so fast that I worry he’s going to choke. Every single day he does something that scares me. Everyday. I can’t walk out of that door Harry. I can’t leave him because of it. Niall had a seizure and was bleeding on my living room floor and I didn’t just abandon him. You couldn’t even stay at the hospital.”

“I left and came back,” Harry shouts. “I left the hospital because I didn’t think we were in a place where I should be going with you. I didn’t want you to forgive me because I held you while you cried. I wanted you to forgive me on neutral terms. And don’t act like I didn’t come back. I know you were awake. I know you heard Niall and I talking.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Zayn retorts.

“It means everything. I skip my train to come back and make sure that Niall was okay. I was going to talk to you but you were sleeping. And you refused to show me that you were awake, so I left. I took a later train because I couldn’t live with myself if I skipped town without knowing he was perfectly fine.”

Zayn looks at Harry and the deep emotions that are swirling in his eyes, “where did you go?”

“Huh?”

“When you were gone. Where were you? No one knows.”

Harry shakes his head, “it doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me,” Zayn replies.

Harry stares at Zayn, his expression pleading. “I can’t tell you. Not right now. I, fuck, this sounds so stupid. I just had to do something and it’s not anything for you to worry about. I know you worry, I know. And, I’m sorry I can't tell you right now.”

Zayn nods his head. He understands that Harry doesn't have to tell him everything. He knows that some things are allowed to remain private. But that doesn’t stop Zayn from worrying that wherever Harry was, whatever he was doing, is going to affect their relationship in some way. And Zayn hopes the curling fear in his chest that it won’t be good is wrong.

Harry looks down at his watch and curses, “I have an appointment I need to go too. I have to go, I’m sorry.”

Zayn nods his head and goes to open the door to let Harry out. Harry steps out of the threshold without a word. He stops when he gets into the apartment hall and turns around to look at Zayn with a smile. “I’ll see you,” he says as he turns to go.

“Harry, wait,” Zayn says. He waits until Harry turns around before talking. “Niall’s birthday party, you’ll come right?"

Harry smiles at him and leans forward to kiss his cheek, “I wouldn’t miss it.” He hesitates before leaning forward again to press a second kiss to Zayn’s skin.

~~

Zayn lies in bed that night with Niall as Niall tries to read him one of his new books. It’s Niall’s favorite new activity, sitting down with Zayn as he attempts to read the words on the page. And really it’s all just him trying to describe what he sees.

“And mouse get cookie. Mouse eat all dinner. All dinner get cookie,” Niall reads as he points to the mouse holding onto a chocolate chip cookie.

Zayn nods his head enthusiastically, “yeah, only if you eat all your dinner do you get a cookie.”

Niall nods and turns the page to begin reading some more. “And boy make mess. Boy no get cookie. No cookies for messy.” Niall shakes his head at the little boy before turning the page to continue.

And Zayn listens to his son read him a story until he’s finished. He tries to keep his attention fully on the story and making sure to praise Niall as often as he can. He’s not sure what this is doing for when it’s time for Niall to actually learn to read. If this will hinder him or not since Niall is under the firm belief that he can read anything. It’s harmless though Zayn thinks because Niall is only a toddler and there is plenty of time for learning how to read.

But no it’s hard for Zayn to stay focused on the story when his thoughts keep drifting back to the words Harry spoke to him on his couch tonight. He tries to reevaluate what he can do with everything he learned tonight. He knows there is more to the story. He knows that there are things Harry is still hiding from it. He could see it in the way Harry would chew on his bottom lip as he avoided Zayn’s eyes.

He’s not stupid and he refuses to let Harry string him along. He can’t be in a relationship with someone who can’t make up his or her mind about him. Not when he has Niall, his son, who deserves so much more than someone who runs out when he’s scared.

Niall finishes the book and tosses it off the bed. He smiles at Zayn and mutters a sorry when he’s scolded for the action.

“Will you sleep with baba tonight?” Zayn asks. Niall thinks about it for a moment before nodding his head and pulling the blankets up to his chin as he lays his head on Zayn’s pillow. “Niall, can I ask you something?”

“Yes, baba.”

Zayn takes a deep breath and asks, “do you love Harry?”

“Yes, love Harry,” Niall replies almost instantly.

“Do you love him like baba and Uncle Lou and Uncle Li?”

Niall shrugs his shoulders and says, “love, baba.”

Zayn smiles and kisses Niall on the forehead as he mutters how much he loves Niall before reaching over and turning off the light.

Zayn knows it’s not a fair question to ask Niall because Niall honestly doesn’t understand. Niall has an open heart that allows entry for anyone he meets. He’s not closed off like his father is or afraid of anything. It’s probably his age but Zayn likes to believe it’ll be the way Niall always will be.

It’s not a fair question to ask but Zayn is left wondering if he and Niall could live without Harry.


	26. Chapter 26

Zayn’s scrubbing his kitchen clean as he prepares for Niall’s party that’s set to take place later on in the day. It’s a quiet little get together with Zayn’s friends, or all the people who matter in Niall’s life. He’s running the mop along the floor as he hears a steady popping sound coming from the living room. He ignores it because he gave Niall firm instructions that he has to stay on the carpet and cannot come on the tiled floor. And really it’s only a matter of time before Niall seeks out an opportunity to run across the floor so he can fall on his butt in laughter.

The popping noise persists for several minutes and Zayn sighs realizing that he really should check on his son. He leans the mop on the counter and carefully walks towards the archway that leads to the living room. He peeks inside and sees Niall standing in place and pushing one of his toys back and forth across the floor. It’s a plastic toy that has a handle at the top of a light blue part that stems down to a covered section where with every push little balls pop around the container.

Niall must sense his presence because he looks up and smiles at Zayn. “What are you doing, babe?” Zayn asks.

“Vacuuming,” Niall says as he scoots the toy over to begin swiping it across another section of carpet. “It dirty.”

“You’re vacuuming the floors for me?” Zayn asks with a smile. Niall nods and Zayn steps forward into the room. “Come here, let’s get you dressed and ready for your party.” Niall drops the toy on the floor and lets Zayn pick him up and carry him into his bedroom.

Zayn sets Niall down on the ground and opens up his closet doors. He flips through the clothing and tries to find something that is special enough to wear on Niall’s birthday. He settles on a red shirt and over alls since Niall has yanked the pants out from his drawers.

He gets Niall dressed and picks him up so he can hold onto him. “It’s your birthday today,” Zayn says as he smoothes his hand along the back of Niall’s head. “Do you know what that means?”

Niall shakes his head.

“It means you’re two now. You’re two and everyone is coming over and bringing you presents and you’ll get to have cake and ice cream. Does that sound like a good day?”

“Yes, baba,” Niall says as he leans his head against Zayn’s shoulder so he can play with the collar of Zayn’s shirt.

~~

It’s two thirty when Zayn hears a knock on his door. It’s the exact time he told Louis to bring everyone over. He’s still holding Niall in his arms; he’s refusing to put him down. He swings the door open and sees Louis, Liam, Harry, Nick and Ed standing there waiting for him.

“Happy Birthday,” Niall shouts at them with a wide smile on his face and his arms held out.

Louis steps through the threshold and shoves his gifts into Zayn’s hands so he can take Niall. Liam follows behind him with even more gifts and a giant black bag that Zayn soon learns is stuffed with balloons yielding the number two. Ed and Nick step inside both carrying one gift each followed by Harry.

“You made it,” Zayn says as he closes the door.

“I promised you I would.”

Zayn nods his head and turns to go into the living room to set down the gifts. He shakes his head at the sight of his countertop taken over by gifts for his son. He sees that Louis and Liam have brought eight. And he feels saddened by the number because as his father he thought he should have been allowed the highest number of gifts to be given today.

“You all right?” Harry asks as he sets even more wrapped boxes onto the counter. “Seem a little flustered.”

Zayn shakes his head. “I’m fine. Just a lot going on, isn’t there?”

Harry looks at him and is about to say something when Niall comes running into the room and grasps Harry’s legs. They look down and see Niall has both his arms wrapped around Harry’s thigh and he’s looking up at them with a smile.

“Look, baba,” Niall says as he tugs on his shirt to show Zayn a brand new pin with the number two on his chest.

“Wow, who gave you that?” Zayn asks.

“Uncle Lou,” Niall says as he begins to try climbing up Harry’s body to show he wants to be held. Harry complies and picks him up and adjusts him on his hip. “Wow,” Niall says when he sees all the presents stacked up for him.

~~

“Sit you lap,” Niall says from down on the ground as he tries to climb Nick’s legs onto the couch.

Nick flinches and shakes his head. “No, sit on Uncle Ed. You really should. He’s a lot softer than me with his pudgy tummy and it’s just really a much better choice.” He reaches over and pokes Ed in the stomach to try and show Niall what he could be resting against.

Niall looks at him funny before shaking his head. “No, you,” Niall says as he pulls himself onto the couch and plops down on Nick’s lap with a smile.

“Niall, you really should sit on Uncle Ed’s lap.”

The entire room is watching the exchange and Zayn can’t help but laugh from across the room as Niall shakes his head at Nick firmly. “I say no,” Niall says with a sharp glare. “Niall say no. Sit you lap not Uncle Ed.” He wiggles his butt around until he’s comfortable and tucks himself into Nick’s side with a smile.

“No, absolutely not,” Nick says. “I refuse to let this little devil sway me. I refuse.” Niall is still smiling as he leans down to rest his head on Nick’s shoulder. He pops his thumb in his mouth and begins watching the movie playing on the television. Nick groans and points an accusatory finger at Zayn. “This is all your fault. Who gave you the right to go off and have a child this cute? I did not sign up to be on the list of people wrapped around his finger. Absolutely not, you need to remove him. Take him back.”

Zayn shrugs his shoulders and leaves Niall where he is. He turns back to watch the movie that Niall forced them all to sit down and watch. He sees Harry smiling at him from the corner of his eyes and turns his head so he can look at Harry. Harry’s cheeks flush at being caught staring but Zayn just smiles back before he readjusts his vision back to the screen.

~~

Zayn excuses himself from the party and slips into his bedroom so he can have a moment alone. In the middle of watching Niall talk to Nick and listening to Louis tell stories of when Niall was just a tiny baby to anyone who will listen he’s hit with the realization that Niall is growing up.

And he’s not stupid. He knows that everyday Niall is getting older and he’s learning new things. And everyday is one day further from when he was a tiny baby that Zayn could hold with one hand. But it’s hard for him on days like this when he’s suddenly hit with the fact that Niall is one year older. Niall is one year closer to the point where he won’t need Zayn anymore.

And that thought sends a fresh wave of tears down his cheeks and onto his lap.

He doesn't even know how long he’s in there before he hears a soft knock on his bedroom door. He doesn’t say anything just wipes at his nose and face and glances up at the door when he sees it open. It’s Harry and he’s smiling at Zayn fondly.

“You’ve been in here for fifteen minutes. I’d ask if you’re all right but it’s fairly obvious by the tears that you’re not. You want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Niall’s two,” Zayn says as he wipes at his eyes. “He’s getting old.” Harry barks out a laugh and Zayn glares at him. He reaches out to shove Harry away from him. “It’s not funny. He’s my baby and he keeps getting older and now he’s two and he’s going to hate me soon. He’s already grown out of his crib and he’s talking better than anyone his age and soon he’ll be potty trained. And I just want him to stay a baby.”

Harry crouches down in front of Zayn and rests his hand on his knee. “Niall is always going to love you and need you and want you around and he’ll always be your baby Niall, nothing can change that. And he’s only two.” Harry squeezes Zayn’s knee gently.

Zayn huffs and wipes at his eyes more urgently. “I know but he’s a baby. He can’t get older. Isn’t there a way to stop it?”

Harry laughs lightly and reaches up to wipe the tears on Zayn’s cheeks. “I’m afraid not, love. He’s getting older everyday.”

Zayn hiccups and juts his lower lip out at Harry. “It’s so overwhelming out there. The number two is everywhere; on all the balloons that Louis brought and on the cake and on the pin on Niall’s shirt. It’s like I can’t escape it. I want him to go back to being a baby. I never want him to not be a baby.”

“Zayn, it’s okay. You’re upset, but like I said Niall will always be your baby, okay? But he has to grow up. And he hasn’t even been two for a day.”

Zayn nods his head and takes a deep breath. He wipes at his eyes and grabs onto Harry’s hand so he can squeeze it. “Thank you,” he says. He smiles at Harry and holds onto his hand as he steadies his breathing.

~~

Niall’s opening his gifts and Zayn is proud of the fact he has only cried one other time today. He’s halfway through and he’s already opened the gifts from Harry; a stack of brand new books, a child’s easel so he can paint or draw, and a play kitchen that has Niall screaming in excitement. When he’s finished Harry whispers in Zayn’s ear that he bought Niall something else but he hasn’t gotten it in the mail yet. Zayn looks at him and Harry shrugs his shoulders.

“It was supposed to be at the store but the shop owner said they were all out and I didn’t know where to look so I had to order it from the manufacturer and it was supposed to be here on time but it’s not,” Harry explains.

It’s similar gifts from Louis and Liam who have flooded him with books and puzzles along with a new set stuffed animals and clothes. Liam has also gotten Niall his own sets of paint that he can use on the easel Harry bought him. It earns him a jab in the ribs from Louis as he mutters that he didn’t know they were doing separate gifts.

He screams when he sees the little bike that Zayn has gotten him and he refuses to get off of it for the remainder of presents.

Nick buys him a stack of movies that Niall doesn’t have and Zayn has a sneaking suspicion that Harry was the one helping Nick out with what to get.

But it’s Ed’s gift that Zayn thinks Niall loves the most. It’s a tiny children’s guitar and Niall’s eyes go wide and he whispers a quiet, “wow,” when he sees it. He pulls the strap over his body and lets the guitar rest against him as he mutters his thank you’s to everyone like Zayn told him.

He doesn’t take the guitar off when he asks if he can sit in Harry’s lap for cake. He climbs in his lap and rests his head against Harry’s chest. He forces everyone to sit in special places because he wants Zayn to sit next to him and Harry with Louis and Liam at the ends of the table so Nick and Ed are across from him.

“Are you having a good birthday?” Zayn hears Harry whisper to Niall.

Niall nods his head and offers his forkful of cake to Harry. “Eat cake,” Niall says. He smiles when Harry takes the cake with an over dramatic, “yummy.” Niall picks up another forkful and feeds it to Harry again.

~~

Zayn manages to shuffle everyone out the door before it’s time for Niall to go to bed. He shuts the door and sighs as he leans his head against the cool metal.

He hears someone cough lightly behind him and he turns around to see Harry standing there with Niall in his arms.

“I thought you left?” Zayn says.

Harry smiles sheepishly at him and shrugs his shoulders. “Harry stay,” Niall says. “Harry stay and sleep.”

“He kept asking and I didn’t know what to tell him so I just sort of hung back and got him in his pajamas. But I can go if you’d like.”

“No, you can stay,” Zayn says.


	27. Chapter 27

“Harry gone.”

Zayn feels someone shoving his left cheek and even though his eyes are still closed he has the sneaking suspicion that it’s Niall. He slowly lets his eyes flutter open but quickly throws his hand over them to shield himself from the harsh light seeping in through his windows. He blinks his eyes as they adjust to the light and as his vision focuses he feels a lightweight settle on his chest.

Niall.

“Baba, Harry gone,” Niall says again as he adjusts himself on his fathers chest.

Zayn tilts his head to the side trying to process Niall’s words before he remembers that Harry did spend the night. He looks over and sees the other side of the bed empty with the blankets thrown back. He sighs because of course. Of course things would be great and of course Harry would vanish without a word. Zayn feels stupid for having thought that things would okay between them and that things could possibly go back to some sense of normalcy.

“Baba, why he go?” Niall asks.

Zayn reaches a hand up to smooth down the hair sticking up on the back of Niall’s head from sleep. “I don’t know, baby. Maybe he had to go somewhere again.” This time it’s Niall’s turn to sigh and shake his head in disappointment and it makes Zayn frown. “Come on let’s go have breakfast, hmm? Are you hungry?”

Niall nods and crawls off Zayn so he can stand up. Niall holds his arms in the air and Zayn picks him up before making his way out his bedroom and into the kitchen.

And it comes as bit of a shock when Harry is standing in front of the stove wearing a pair of Zayn’s shorts and one of his shirts. Zayn stands there with Niall in his arms and his jaw lax while he watches Harry cook.

“Harry,” Niall shouts with a wide smile and his arms held out.

Harry jumps and curses when he drops the pancake on the floor. He turns to face Zayn with a small smile on his face. “Morning,” he says as he bends down to pick the food off the floor, “I thought you would sleep in a bit longer.”

“What are you doing?” Zayn asks.

“Oh, um, making breakfast?” Harry says, more a question than a statement, as he shrugs his arms and points towards the stack of food on the counter. “You do want breakfast, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Zayn says as he goes to buckle Niall into his seat, “I just thought you left.”

Zayn turns around so he can see Harry’s reaction to his words and he definitely doesn’t miss Harry’s frown as he shakes his head, “no, I didn’t leave.”

And Zayn can hear the sheer disappointment in Harry’s voice that Zayn would jump to that conclusion first. And a small fraction of him feels bad that he’d immediately go there but then he remembers Harry walking out his front door a few short weeks ago over being called ‘Daddy’ and all sense of sympathy is thrown out the window.

It’s a mellow breakfast with soft chatter from Niall who is blissfully unaware of the tense lines in Harry’s shoulders since Zayn mentioned him leaving. He talks about his dreams where he was at Uncle Lou’s house and he talks about how his birthday party from the day before. He talks about everything but the fact that Harry left which is something that Zayn is dying to discuss.

The meal plays out smoothly with Harry sneaking looks and smiles in Zayn’s direction every chance he gets. And Zayn watches him of the corner of his eye as he interacts with Niall.

It warms Zayn’s heart to know someone not obligated loves his son because despite Harry’s actions Zayn knows he cares about one Malik.

“Baba, what do?”

Zayn looks over at his son and tilts his head, because what should they do with their day?

~~

“Niall, now you need to listen to me, okay?” Zayn says as he smoothes the lotion out over Niall’s fair skin. He’s rubbing it up and down his arms to protect his son’s skin from the sun’s rays. “You cannot get in that water without me or Harry, do you understand?” Niall nods. “You can’t get in without your jacket on, okay?” Niall pouts but nods his head again.

Zayn sets the sunscreen down on the table and dresses Niall in his life jacket. Zayn begins to shake with fear at the thought of letting Niall into a pool made for adults especially when neither he nor Niall know how to swim. But Harry had insisted that everything would be okay and that’s how they ended up at Harry’s house in his back yard about the spend the afternoon swimming in his pool.

~~

“Baba, get water,” Niall says as he kicks his legs around.

Zayn is sitting on the edge of the pool with his feet dangling in as he watches Harry hold onto Niall and walk him around the pool. There hasn’t been a moment where Niall has been allowed to swim by himself, Harry has been constantly holding onto him. Mostly because of the sheer panic that takes over Zayn’s body at the thought of letting Niall float around on his own.

“Baba, get water.”

Zayn shakes his head but complies with his son’s wishes as he gently lowers himself off the ledge and into the water. It comes up to the middle of his torso and Zayn feels his chest start to heave in anticipation. He wades through the water until he’s standing directly in front of the other two. He smiles weakly as he reaches his arms out to take Niall from Harry.

Niall’s face breaks out in a smile when he sees Zayn in the water. “Baba, it fun. Love water.”

“Yeah, it’s wonderful,” Zayn says through gritted teeth. He hears Harry laughing and he whips his head up to look at him, “care to share what’s so funny?”

Harry holds his hands up in defense. “Zayn, it’s not even five feet deep. You’re not going to drown. You’re okay.”

“You can drown in a puddle, Harry. I could drown in my kitchen sink. So clearly I could drown in this.”

“I won’t let you,” Harry says.

“What?”

“I said I wouldn’t let you. Meaning that I will not let you drown so you can relax. I promise you’re okay and so is Niall.”

“I, okay,” Niall says, “Baba, okay. Harry, okay.”

Zayn swallows the lump in his throat and nods his head. “Yeah, okay.”

And Harry keeps his promise. They spend the day taking turns pulling Niall around the water and listening to him giggle with excitement. Harry and Niall have a small splashing fight that Harry let’s Niall win.

It’s a fun afternoon and Zayn is happy that he was able to relax enough that he didn’t spend it on the sidelines watching as Niall and Harry played in the pool without him.

~~

They stay at Harry’s house for dinner. He’s out in the backyard grilling chicken and vegetables for them. And Niall is lying on the couch holding Harry’s cat, who since their last visit has lost the name Toby and has permanently become Cat, and talking to him about the Dalmatians in the movie on the TV screen.

“Baba, mean lady?” Niall asks as he pulls the shifting cat tighter to his chest. “Mean lady.”

“I don’t know, sweetie. She’s not a nice person.”

Niall nods his head and confirms Zayn’s words with the cat.

Harry comes inside carrying two plates full of food and begins putting them onto different plates for their meal. He cuts everything up for Niall and smiles at Zayn when he notices him watching.

“This is different,” Zayn says.

Harry cocks an eyebrow at him as he sets the plates down on the table. “What’s different?”

“Being here, in your house. We never do this. We’re always at my apartment or out somewhere but mostly at my house.”

“Is it a bad different?”

“No, I kind of like it here, with you and Cat,” Zayn says with a smile. Harry shakes his head at him and Zayn continues, “You changed your cat’s name.”

Harry shrugs. “It was easier. Niall got really upset when I said Toby so I’ve kept it as Cat to make things easier. I mean, it was difficult at first but he seems to have really caught on to the name change. I don’t think he ever really knew his name to begin with. Besides I think he really likes Niall.”

Zayn nods his head slowly and peeks back into the living room where Niall has shifted positions so he’s half lying on the feline. “Everyone seems to like him, don’t they?”

~~

“Why are you at his house? Shouldn’t you be demanding that he talk to you?” Louis asks through the phone receiver.

After dinner Zayn had stepped outside to get fresh air while Niall finished his movie and Harry cleaned up the kitchen.

The meal was delicious and the atmosphere was calming. But all throughout dinner he kept getting domestic flashes in his head of what his life could be like with Harry.

A big house with a giant yard and Niall playing with the cat in the other room while he and Harry spent alone time together. He got flashes of meal times where they’d sit down together as a family and Harry would help him feed Niall and wash Niall’s face off while he collects the plates to put in the sink. He got flashes of lazy Sunday’s spent in the pool or lying on the couch watching a movie while Niall took a nap.

Maybe they’d go out and buy a swing set for Niall or a basketball hoop so when Niall was older Harry could teach him how to play. Or maybe they’d install goal posts in the backyard so they could practice kicking the ball around. Even now Niall loves kicking balls and he imagines seeing Harry out back letting Niall kick the ball a couple inches, the furthest he can get it, and letting him score goals against him while Zayn watches from the kitchen window. Or maybe they would adopt a puppy and name it Dog, or maybe Niall would allow them to have an animal with a decent name.

He got flashes of them as a family and it scared the shit out of him. So he called Louis.

“He stayed after Niall’s party and Niall wanted him to spend the night so he did and I guess that I wanted him to stay too. And then we spent the day at his house and now I just can’t fucking stop seeing him as someone that’s going to stay in my life. And I can’t think that he’s going too because what if Niall calls him daddy again? What then? Is he just going to run again?”

Zayn hears Louis sigh through the phone. “You know that I want you to be happy, and you know that I want you to be with someone that makes you happy. If Harry is that person then you need to talk to him. You need to sit him down and force him to tell you what’s going on. It’s not fair to you or Niall if he’s going to run off again.”

Zayn nods his head even though Louis can’t see him. “I know,” he groans, “why did I let my life get so complicated?”

Louis laughs softly. “Your life has been complicated since the day you met me.” Zayn laughs and shakes his head because as wild as Louis is sometimes he’s one of the greatest things to ever happen to him. “Zayn, you know what you have to do. If you want to be happy and you want to be with Harry then you need to have him talk.”

“Zayn, are you all right?”

Zayn turns around to see Harry standing in the open doorway and looking at him with concern. He doesn’t step outside or close the door and Zayn knows it’s because Niall is inside.

“Lou, I gotta go,” Zayn says into the phone before pocketing it and turning back to Harry. He rubs his hands against his face and through his hair before shaking his head. “We need to talk.”

Harry frowns at him, “is it bad?”

Zayn stills, “what? No, no. I mean you need to talk to me about the past couple weeks. We need to sort this out. I can’t just forget it or ignore it. We’ll never move on from anything if it’s left in limbo. It’ll keep coming back and eventually it’ll destroy me because I really need to know what happened.”

Harry nods his head and motions for him to step back inside the house.


	28. Chapter 28

There is an incessant knocking at Zayn’s door and he really can’t be assed to get up and answer it. But it won’t stop and the more seconds that go by the more urgent the knocks become. Zayn shuts off his TV and gets off the couch with a sigh. He’s really not in the mood to deal with people. He’s not, and he thinks he has a right to be. But Niall’s sleeping and he really can’t have him wake up.

He swings the door open without looking at whose behind it and is surprised when he notices that it’s Nick. He stands there staring so Nick rolls his eyes and shoves past Zayn. He closes the door for Zayn and pushes him down on the couch.

“We have to talk,” Nick says as he makes himself comfortable.

Zayn gapes at him for a moment longer before shaking his head. “Um, what are you doing here?”

“Harry called me freaking the fuck out.” Nick claps a hand over his mouth and peeks around Zayn’s shoulder trying to look at the rest of the apartment. “Is Niall here? Is he going to repeat that? You know what, whatever. Harry called me. And well based on what he said you two finally sat down for your little chit chat.”

“And what does that have to do with you?”

“Harry is my best friend, but do you know who his best friend is?”

“You?” Zayn says. Honestly, Zayn has no idea who anyone’s best friend is besides his own.

“That would be the smart choice, but, no. It’s you. And that’s fine with me because when Harry asks I say that Ed is my best friend. I can be a sap romantic and say that my boyfriend is my best friend as well. He’s not the only one who can do that. The only difference is that when he says it he’s not lying.”

Zayn shakes his head. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Ugh,” Nick says with an eyeroll. “Okay to put it simply, Harry doesn’t lie. He tries but he’s shit at it. And I know you’re probably sitting here wondering if you should believe him and if you should trust him but you just have too. I know we’re not close. I know we aren’t, and my opinion probably means absolutely nothing to you but I care about Harry. He’s my best friend. And I think you should know that he’s happiest with you, and with Niall and you shouldn’t throw that away.” Nick smiles at Zayn and stands up off the couch. He dusts his black jeans off and begins to make his way towards the front door.

Before he leaves he says, “I just think you should keep that in mind while you think, okay? Because Harry and you both deserve to be happy.” He steps out of the door and is about to close it before pulling it back open. “Don't you dare tell him that he’s my best friend.”

~~

The day before

~~

Zayn pockets his phone and makes his way back towards Harry’s house. He closes the door behind him at smiles at Niall when his head pops up from the back of the couch.

“Sweetie, Harry and I are going into the kitchen to talk. You stay in here unless you need us, alright?” Niall nods his head and drops back down on the couch.

Harry is waiting for Zayn at the kitchen table with his head down and his hands clasped together. Zayn can see the slight tremor in the rise and fall of his chest and he has absolutely no idea why Harry would be so nervous about this. He has an idea of what’s been going on. Zayn is the one sitting in the dark and if anything it should be him that’s scared. He is but he’ll never let Harry see it.

“So,” Zayn starts as he slides into the chair next to Harry.

Harry looks up at him with wide eyes and nods his head. “Yeah, okay. I don’t know how to start this but I’m going to try and have it make sense, okay?” Zayn nods. “Fuck, okay I’m starting from the beginning.”

“Harry, just say it. I don’t even know what you want to tell me. I just need to know what’s been going on lately.”

“That night when I first spent the night and I woke up to Niall and your mother I should have ran, most people would have run. But I couldn’t just leave your son sitting there alone while you slept so I fed him and played with him and he’s so fucking wonderful. In every single way and I just couldn’t find it in me to be freaked out that I just slept with someone that has a child. I’ve always wanted kids, always, but I never thought I’d want someone else’s kid. Or...not, that sounds bad because I’m gay and no matter what it would be someone else’s child. I just never thought that being with someone that’s already a parent is something that I’d want.

But I wanted it so fucking bad. And you kept shoving me away and kept making things so fucking hard and I refused to give up because you’re just—god, Zayn, you’re absolutely perfect in every way and then Niall too. He’s just like you. But it wasn’t about Niall. I just…I just wanted you. And then I got you and everything was so perfect and then I got scared.”

“Why?” Zayn says.

“The more time I spent with the more I kept thinking about what if we became a family. What if somewhere down the line we got married or didn’t, it doesn’t matter to me because as long as I was with you then I’d be happy. And I knew the longer I was with you the higher the chances were that Niall would come to think of me as a father figure. But I never thought it would come so soon. And I just don’t have a family. Both of my parents are dead. My sister lives with her husband and she has a family of her own and we never talk. It’s just me and it has been for a while and I’ve gotten used to that. Being a family with you and Niall felt like some far-fetched dream and I never thought it would happen. Ever.”

“So, wait,” Zayn holds his hand up so he can stop Harry and tries to keep his face in a neutral expression but he can feel it contorting into one of confusion. “You ran off because you got what you wanted? Harry, I don’t understand.”

“Fuck,” Harry says as he rubs his hands across his face. “No, well, kind of. When Niall called me daddy it was like being hit by a train. I was so happy. You—I didn’t show it very well, but I was. I swear on everything that I was. But it was like five seconds ago it was just me and then Niall just changed everything and I realized that I had you and him and it was so much to take in.”

“If you were happy why would you run off? Why didn’t you come back?”

“I was scared out of my fucking mind.”

“Harry, you’re not making any sense. One minute you’re scared then the next you’re happy and then you’re back to being scared again. If you were happy then you wouldn’t have run off and if you were scared then what the hell makes you think that you’re ready now?”

It’s quiet after that. Harry and Zayn are looking at each but no words are leaving either of their mouths. All they can hear is the quiet murmur from the movie that Niall is watching and his loud cheers when something exciting happens. It’s so domestic that Zayn can’t understand how Harry can be scared of something like this. How can he be scared of kitchen conversations while Niall plays in the other room? It’s comfortable and familiar and Zayn thinks back on all the nights before where Harry and he had spent it with Niall or talking about Niall. Their entire relationship has incorporated Niall and Zayn wonders if Harry hadn’t been scared for longer than he’s letting on.

“I’m terrified because I can’t lose you. I can’t. I just—I won’t. I’m so scared because I’m not really Niall’s father. If we break up then I lose not only you but him as well. And I can’t stop thinking about what if something happens and we never get back together again and then what? It scares me.”

Zayn takes a deep breath and feels as his chest tightens at Harry’s words. It’s not what he was expecting and he can’t help but feel a rush of heat and affection towards the other boy.

“I left your house and I came back here. I just had to breathe and then once I realized what I had done I knew that you were probably so hurt and so angry and poor Niall too. I knew I had to do something to make it up to you guys. Because it was a coward thing to do, and you shouldn’t have forgiven me, you shouldn’t. But I’m so happy that you did.”

“But where did you go when Niall was in the hospital?”

“Oh that, yeah sorry. I went to stay with my sister for a while.”

“For a while? So you weren’t there the whole time?”

Harry takes a deep breath. “I went to my sister’s to try and figure out what to do about this entire thing. Not, no I mean what to do about trying to show you that I’m serious about this. But she kind of called me a jackass and kicked me out so I came back here.”

“You are a bit of a jackass,” Zayn says with a smile. “I still don’t understand. If you went to find a way back into our lives why didn’t you just stay? Why would you go?”

“I told you this already. I can’t have you accepting me being back because I brought blankets and stuffed animals to the hospital. I just couldn’t have that be the terms that fixed our relationship. I needed you to take me back or just forgive me because you understand everything that’s happening.”

“Baba?”

Zayn shifts his attention away from Harry and towards Niall who is standing the doorway rubbing his eyes. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Sleepy,” Niall says as he crawls into Zayn’s lap.

“Can you lie down on the couch and try to sleep until Harry and I are done talking? Then we can take you home.”

“No,” Niall whines. “Sleep bed.”

“Can he use your bed?” Zayn asks. Harry nods his head. “Um, can you show me where it is again?”

Zayn picks up Niall and follows Harry through the living room and up the stairs. He’s running his fingers through Niall’s hair and kissing the top of his head as he walks up the stairs. Harry flips the light on at the top of the stairs and disappears around the corner. When Zayn makes it to the top of the stairs he turns the same way he saw Harry go and nearly drops Niall.

“What’s that?” Zayn asks. Harry is looking at him with a slight smile and shrugs his shoulders. He’s standing in front of a door with pastel green letters attached. He opens the door and Zayn steps inside.

“You—did you—what is this?” Zayn says as he looks around.

The walls are the same soft green as the letters spelling out Niall’s name on the door. There is small bed with a white frame and light blue bed spreads. There are painted images of jungle scenes along the wall the bed is pushed up against. There is small white toy chest with lions painted on the side of it and Zayn can see that there are already toys inside of it. The closet door is left open and there are a few outfits hung up along with blankets folded up on the top rack. The dresser is empty but there is a giraffe decal on the wall next to it.

“That’s mine,” Niall says as he looks around the room. “That’s mine.” He begins kicking Zayn’s arms so Zayn sets him down and he runs over towards the two small chairs with elephants’ faces on them. He sits down in one of them and smiles towards Harry and Zayn.

Zayn shakes his head and turns towards Harry. “What is going on?”

Harry points down towards the bed and Zayn’s eyes are drawn to a green and blue striped crocheted blanket. “My mom made that for me when I was younger, along with the other ones in the closet. She painted those two pictures over there, the panda and the monkeys. I really liked them when I was little. I know you kind of already have a jungle theme in your house but I figured Niall really likes it so why change it?”

Zayn eyes the blanket at the end of the bed and runs his hands along the knotted yarn. Niall is standing next to him with a smile on his face. “Is this…how did you—why?”

“This is why I went to my sisters house. I wanted to get some of the stuff she had from when I was growing up. She didn’t have much just the portraits. When I told her what I was planning she gave them to me. And the blankets as well, I got them from her.”

Niall picks up the monkey off the pillows and smiles down at it. He looks up at Harry and Zayn with a smile. “This mine.”

“Yeah, that’s yours. What are you going to name it?” Zayn asks.

Niall looks down at the monkey and cocks his head to the side as he thinks. He runs his hands along the brown fur and pokes his tongue out while he concentrates.

“Monkey,” Niall says with a firm nod. “Name Monkey.”

“That’s a good name,” Harry says with a fond smile.

“Why did you do this?” Zayn asks and he can’t help but stare at Harry in awe. No one has every done anything like this for him or for his son.

Harry sighs. “I told you that I had to do something to show you that I’m serious about this. I needed you to know that this means something to me.” Harry pauses and takes a deep breath and locks eyes with Zayn. “That this means everything to me. I needed you to know that I love Niall, but I’m in love with you.”


	29. Chapter 29

As soon as the door shuts behind Nick Zayn lets out loud, tired groan. He throws himself down the length of the couch and presses his face deep into the fabric of the cushion. He lets out a scream that's muffled by the furniture below him and turns over so he can flip off the light and stare at the darkness enveloping the room.

~~

Zayn wakes up on the couch to the soft sounds emitting from the television even though he’s fairly positive that he turned that off before he had fallen asleep. He cranes his neck around and sees that not only has Niall joined him at some point in the night but Louis as well. Niall is curled up on top of Zayn’s chest and Zayn has to wrap his arms around him so he can sit up slowly without disturbing his son.

“Morning,” Louis whispers when he notices the movement on the couch.

Zayn hums in response and leans against the back cushions so Niall is sitting up with him but still leaning against his chest fast asleep. “What are you doing here?” Zayn asks.

“Missed you,” Louis says with a shrug. “What are you doing sleeping on your couch?”

“Nick came over and I wound up falling asleep here I guess. No idea what Niall is doing here,” Zayn says as he rubs his hand up and down Niall’s back.

“Why was Nick here?”

“He wanted to talk about Harry. Apparently Harry called him rather upset about something and Nick wanted to talk.”

“About?”

“Just about what happened with Harry and I.”

“Okay,” Louis says as he sits up and turns off the television. “I’m going to pick up breakfast. It won’t take long but either put Niall in a bed or have him awake when I get back because I am not playing this whispering game with you where you act like you don’t know what it is I’m asking.”

Zayn doesn’t say anything but watches as Louis leaves the apartment with a huff. He stays there and looks at the door and thinks about what happened yesterday at Harry’s house. He thinks about Niall’s room and the soft green walls and the blankets that Harry’s mother made but he wants Niall to have. He thinks about how Harry created that room to show how much he loves Zayn, how much he loves Niall. How that’s the same room Harry told him he loved him.

He sighs and pulls himself off the couch and makes his way towards the bedrooms in the back with Niall in his arms. He lies Niall down on the bed and kneels down next to him so he can run his fingers through Niall’s soft, mousy hair.

He keeps thinking about Harry and of the bedroom and the words that Harry spoke to him. He feels overwhelmed with the amount of information he’s being asked to take in and he feels his stomach clench every time he tries to go through everything he was told. And if he’s being honestly with himself it’s the confession of Harry’s love that has his thoughts spiraling out of control.

He can hear his apartment door opening and closing, a sign that Louis is back with food. He kisses Niall and makes his way back towards his kitchen. Louis is pulling out plates and passes them to Zayn so they can sit down at the table for a meal.

“So,” Louis prompts as he takes his place at the table and begins rummaging through bags. “Want to tell me why Nick was here and what happened with Harry?”

Zayn accepts the box of food that Louis hands and bobs his head to indicate he’ll talk. “Nick came because I guess Harry is or was freaking out about what we talked about and he wanted me to know that Harry isn’t a liar and that everything he told me was the genuine truth. I mean, he didn’t use those words, but it was more or less the same thing.”

“And why would Harry be a liar? What did he say?”

“We talked about why he left and I guess he was scared about the thought of having a family again because he really doesn't have one, and I wasn’t really trying to establish that Niall, and Harry and myself were a family, but I guess Niall giving him the daddy title scared him into thinking now he’s gotten what he wanted and what if it all fell apart. So he freaked out and fled the scene.”

Louis nods thoughtfully as he chews on his meal. “And do you believe him or accept that?”

“I think so,” Zayn says. “I really don’t want to be angry at him anymore. I really don’t want to be whatever we were during that time he was gone again. I also can’t deny his feelings or try and tell him that they’re wrong.”

“But why would Nick come over here to say that Harry isn’t a liar then if you believe him?”

“Well he kind of, um, built a room for Niall in his house. Like, he decorated it and bought him a toddler bed and threw in things that his mother made for him. He added a play area and blankets and it was absolutely wonderful. Niall loved it. But I think the part that Nick was referring too was Harry kind of said that he might be in love with me?”

“Might be?”

Zayn swallows and shakes his head. “No, he was pretty clear that he is.”

“Wait,” Louis says as he holds his hand up in the air. “Harry said he was in love with you?” Zayn nods. “And what did you say?”

“I, well, um, I kind of nodded and then patted him on the back.” Zayn winces as he says it because it truly sounds terrible when he said out loud.

“You,” Louis pauses and pinches the bridge of his nose, “you patted him on the back?”

“Yeah.”

“But you didn’t say anything?”

Zayn shakes his head no and picks up his fork so he can move his food around instead of keeping eye contact with Louis.

“All right,” Louis says with a sigh. “This isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I thought for sure he was a serial killer or beat puppies for fun. I didn’t think that he’s just as stupid as you are.”

“Hey,” Zayn says with a glare. “I am not stupid.”

Louis snorts. “Yes you are and so is he. That’s why you’re perfect for each other. You’re both going about your lives like you’re perfectly okay when really you’re not. And you both aren’t okay until you’re together. But, once you’re together someone does something to fuck it all up. And that is stupid. You’re stupid because you spend more time worrying when Harry is going to leave then enjoying him being around at all. You have this big, monster fear of commitment and love and you refuse to just accept the fact that he’s really not going anywhere. Regardless of if you two have a commitment or if he even loves or loved you. And Harry is stupid because he’s just as afraid as you are but he’s determined to prove that he’ll never leave and then when something solidifies that he’s probably stuck with you he gets scared and leaves,” Louis finishes with a huff.

Zayn opens his mouth to reply but Louis is holding his hand up once more. “No, I’m not done. You’ve been out of your comfort zone this entire relationship because you’re determined that you don’t deserve this. But, you do. And you’ve been fighting it and you keep trying to push Harry away and he refuses to go. Even when he leaves he spends the whole time creating some grand romantic scheme to get you to forgive him. And on top of all of that he loves Niall. Not like an obligation or like Nick where he thinks he’s cute but actual honest to god love.” Louis takes a deep breath and looks Zayn straight in the eyes when he says, “you have to figure this out, and I’m pretty sure you already know what to do.”

~~

Zayn thinks about Louis’ words as the day goes on and what they mean for him and Niall and his future with Harry. He thinks about how maybe he does have fears about being with Harry just like Harry has fears about being with him.

Louis had mentioned to him that he thought Zayn knew what to do and really Zayn doesn’t. He had absolutely no idea how he should handle this situation because he’s never been at this place in his life before.

So he thinks about what Harry did, and how when he was scared he ran and got away. And to Zayn that sounds like a good idea.

“Niall, sweetie, can you get me your diaper bag?”

Niall nods his head and runs to the corner of his bedroom and pulls out bag overflowing with diapers and wipes and blankets. He passes it to Zayn with a smile.

Zayn takes the bag and adds even more diapers to the inside before zipping it shut and setting it on the edge of Niall’s bed. He walks towards the dresser and grabs a variety of clothing. He grabs pajamas, onesies, shirts and pants. He makes sure that Niall has everything he needs for being away from home for the next few days.

His own bag is already packed and waiting next to the front door.

“Niall, we’re going away for the weekend. Do you want to bring toys?”

Niall presses his finger to his lip and looks around the room. He grabs the stuffed animals behind him and passes them over towards Zayn. “Guitar,” Niall says as he scans his bedroom for more items. “Books.”

Zayn grabs a few books off the shelf and shoves them into Niall’s small little bag and grabs the guitar as well.

“We go?” Niall asks as he follows Zayn down the hallway and towards the front door.

Zayn sets down all the stuff and sees that the taxi is just pulling up. “Yeah, we’re going to go bye-bye for the weekend. We’re going to go away and have fun. Does that sound like a good idea?”

“Baba, Niall fun.”

“We always have fun, don’t we? But we’re not going to be here,” Zayn says as he points around the apartment. “Is that okay?”

Niall bobs his head as he takes his stuffed animals from Zayn.

~~

The drive is longer than Zayn expected it to be. It feels like they’ve been in the taxi for hours. The roads are long and winding and the soft jazz drifting out of the taxi’s speakers are starting to gnaw at his internal debates about what he’s doing. The longer the drive feels the more Zayn struggles with what to do.

When they finally get to where he wanted to be he’s beginning to feel a sense a panic. He can feel his chest tightening in anticipation and he hopes that he’s making the right decision by leaving his place and coming here for a while.

The taxi leaves and Zayn puts the little guitar on Niall so it’s resting against his back and allows him to continue his tight hold on the stuffed animals that occupy his arms. Zayn grabs the bags and carefully helps Niall up the steps as best he can before he knocks on the door and waits.

They’re not waiting long but that doesn’t stop Niall from knocking on the door and shouting that he’s here. The door opens and Niall jumps back having been mid knock and smiles up at Harry.

“What’s going—why are you here?” Harry says as he steps aside to let them into his house.

Zayn shrugs his shoulders and sets the bags down on the entrance floor as Niall drops his things as well to chase after the cat that’s sleeping soundly on the couch. Zayn watches as Niall climbs onto the couch and positions himself so he can pull the cat into his lap and play with its ears.

“Zayn?”

He turns back around and smiles at Harry. “We were at home and I kept thinking about everything that’s happened these past couple days and we just wanted to—or well I just thought—we’re here to spend the weekend. Like, Niall and me, in your house.”

“Just us three?” Harry asks. “Because Louis has a tendency to show up to these things unannounced with Liam and a bag of snacks.”

“No,” Zayn says with a laugh. “I didn’t tell him where we were coming. I thought just the three of us would be appropriate. Niall can sleep in his new room, and I can sleep, you know, with you.”

Harry smiles and takes a step towards Zayn. “This is—fuck, this is the best idea you’ve ever had,” he says as he leans forward to press his lips against Zayn’s.


	30. Chapter 30

“So, you’re happy that we’re here?” Zayn asks as he chews on the inside of his cheek.

Harry smiles at Zayn and shakes his head as he reaches down to pick up the bags dropped in the entrance. “Zayn, of course I’m happy. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Zayn checks on Niall before following Harry up the stairs. “We just dropped in and I didn’t call or anything. Should I have called? Did you have plans? Do we need to reschedule?”

Harry doesn’t say anything just sets Zayn’s bag down on his bed before making his way into Niall’s room. He unzips the bag and begins to hand articles of clothing over to Zayn so he can put them in the small white dresser.

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

“Did you have other plans this weekend?”

“No, Zayn, I didn’t have any other plans. I was going to stay at home tonight and then convince you to come out with me tomorrow. You shouldn’t have called. This was a nice surprise,” Harry says as he takes three steps forward in order to stand in front of Zayn. “Don’t second guess this, okay? We’re just going to let the weekend play out.”

Zayn smiles and wraps his arms around Harry so he can press his face into the curve of Harry’s neck. “You’re right, sorry.”

Zayn feels Harry press a kiss to the side of his head before he removes his arms from around him and drags him down the stairs to join Niall on the couch.

~~

“Harry, I hungry,” Niall says from his spot at the table. Zayn suppresses a laugh behind his hand as Niall whines from his seat at Harry again.

They’re sitting in Harry’s kitchen waiting for him to finish cooking their lunch. Zayn is sat at the table with Niall while Harry fumbles around the kitchen cutting fruits and vegetables. It’s domestic and it sets off an odd flutter inside of Zayn’s stomach as he listens to Harry explain for the fifth time that it’ll only be a moment longer. Niall wiggles around in his seat again to ask if Cat can join them at the table, and for the fifth time Harry declines that being able to happen.

Harry comes walking out of the room with two big bowls on each hand. “I made salad and fruit.”

Zayn takes the salad bowl out of Harry’s hand and sets it down on the table as Harry slides into the seat next to him. “So you made a vegetable salad and a fruit salad.”

Harry opens his mouth to reply until realization dawns on him and he closes it and slumps forward. “Crap,” he mutters under his breath. “Well it’s healthy and we’ll just have to enjoy it, won’t we?”

Zayn smiles at Harry and begins setting food down on Niall’s plate before making his own.

“Baba, yucky,” Niall says as he holds a piece of lettuce in the air. “No eat leaf.” He wiggles his fingers around until it drops off his finger and back onto his plate. “Yucky.”

“He doesn’t like salads?” Harry asks as he bites on his lower lip. “I thought it would be okay. Should I make him something else?”

Zayn shakes his head and swallows the bite he just took. “No, he likes them but sometimes he has an aversion towards leafy vegetables. He’ll eat it.” Zayn turns away from Harry and towards Niall, “Ni, you’re eating that. You don’t have to eat the green stuff but you need to eat the rest, okay?”

“Baba, no. Yucky.”

“Niall, do you want me to take out the green stuff?” Harry asks.

“Harry, it no good.”

Harry drops his head down on the table and lets out a loud groan. “I thought he would like it.”

“Harry, don’t be dramatic. Niall, eat your—what are you doing?” Zayn asks as he sees Niall toss a piece of lettuce over his shoulder and onto the floor.

“Give Cat,” Niall says as he throws another piece of lettuce off his plate and onto the floor. “Not eat.”

“Niall, no you cannot throw your food on the floor. You don’t have to eat the lettuce but you like tomatoes and the fruit and chicken, you love chicken, but you cannot throw food on the floor. Do you understand?”

“Baba, no. Feed cat. Cat hungry.”

Harry lifts his head off the wooden table and shares a look with Zayn. “Niall, Cat can’t eat this. It's bad for his diet. I promise that you can feed him later tonight at dinner. He has special food made just for cats but he gets it later when we sit down for dinner. Okay?”

Niall folds his arms over his chest and nods his head in understanding.

~~

“Our first meal together and it was an absolute nightmare,” Harry whines as he buries his face deeper into Zayn’s chest.

Zayn lets out a laugh as he reaches his hand up to card his fingers through Harry’s curls. “What are you going on about?”

“Lunch was horrible, wasn’t it? And your son tried to off my cooking onto the cat.”

“We’ve had about a million meals together, and this isn’t the first one that took a turn for the worst. He tried to feed your cat, so what? It’s not a big deal.”

Zayn can feel Harry’s pout through the thin material of his shirt. He suppresses the laugh that's building in his chest and continues running his fingers through Harry’s hair. Niall is napping and they’ve taking the opportunity to cuddle in Harry’s bed. Zayn wonders if he’s allowed to call this their bedroom and their bed. He knows that it’s Harry’s since they’re not living together but his son has a room down the hall and really it’s only fair that he’s allowed to consider something in the house as his own.

Zayn is broken from his thoughts when he can feel Harry’s hand slowly running up and down his torso in long, steady movements. Harry’s hand begins to waver in its direction and steadily runs along the waistband of Zayn’s pants. Zayn reaches down and grabs Harry’s hand away from his shorts and brings it up so he can hold it against his chest.

“What are you doing?”

Harry shifts his head so he’s looking up at Zayn through the tops of his lashes. “Well I thought it was obvious,” Harry states as he rolls his body over so he’s lying on top of Zayn. “I was trying to sneak my hand in your pants.”

Zayn barks out a laugh. “We are not having sex while my son is sleeping in the room next door, absolutely not. Not even sleeping but napping which could mean that he’s actually sleeping or he’s rolling around and trying to tie his sheets in a knot with his body. We are not having sex.”

Harry pouts at Zayn and flutters his eyelashes. “You’re ruining my plans.” He leans down and kisses Zayn quickly before pulling away. “Okay, you’re right no sex, absolutely no sex, but we can make out, right? I really want to kiss you. I really want to kiss you and never stop.”

Zayn leans up and kisses Harry slowly for a moment before pulling away. He shifts his body around as Harry noses at his jaw. He turns his head to left as Harry kisses down the curve of his neck into the juncture of his shoulder. “What about when Niall wakes up? We can’t kiss and watch cartoons or kiss and play games outside. Not with a toddler around.”

Harry groans into the side of Zayn’s neck and kisses it once more. “Fine. We’ll kiss and never stop until Niall wakes up. As soon as we hear him we stop. And then when he goes back to sleep for bedtime we kiss some more. And we kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. Is that better?”

“It’d be much better if you could stop talking about it and just do it.”

“Cheeky,” Harry mumbles as he leans down and connects his lips to Zayn’s once more.

~~

“Where Harry?”

“He went to get a surprise for you,” Zayn says as he changes Niall’s diaper.

“For Niall?”

“Yeah, he said he has a surprise for you, and he was supposed to give it to you for your birthday but he didn’t bring it.”

Zayn pulls up Niall’s pants and lifts him off the floor and shifts him onto his hip. They’re standing in Niall’s room and Zayn notices a few extra decorations added that he hadn’t noticed when they were unpacking Niall’s bag.

“Ni, were these here earlier?” Zayn asks as he points towards the framed pictures on Niall’s nightstand.

“Wake up and here,” Niall says as he wiggles out of Zayn’s arms and runs towards them. “Harry, Baba,” Niall says as he passes a picture over towards Zayn. Zayn takes it and stares down at the image of the two of them smiling with their faces pressed together. Zayn leans over Niall and looks at the remaining four pictures of Louis and Liam, Niall with Zayn, Niall with Harry, and the three of them from the day in the pool.

“Oh.”

Zayn turns around and sees Harry standing in the doorway with a box in hand and cat trailing after him.

“Cat,” Niall shouts as the animal jumps on his bed and rubs against his back, it’s tail flickering up and brushing against Niall’s cheek.

Zayn sets down the picture and turns towards Harry who is setting the box down on the floor and kneeling next to it. It’s large and brown with holes punches out so he can stick his hands inside of for easy maneuvering. “Where did these come from? No, actually, what is that?”

Harry motions for him to come over. And Zayn grabs Niall and crawls onto the floor in front of the box. “I put those up when I left, and this is Niall’s other birthday present.”

“Mine,” Niall says as he looks between Zayn and Harry.

“Yeah, can you close your eyes?” Niall covers his eyes with his hands and Zayn does the same when Harry motions for him to follow suit. Zayn can hear the sound of cardboard being bent and it being slid across the carpet before he hears Harry mumble for them open their eyes.

Zayn opens his eyes slowly and sees Harry sitting in front of him with a small black kitten in hand. It has startling green eyes and a white spot under its chin. It takes Niall a moment longer before he has his eyes open and a gasp is leaving his mouth.

“Cat,” Niall shouts as he begins jumping up and down. “Cat, cat, cat, cat, cat. Baba, cat.”

“You bought him a cat?”

Harry’s smile widens as he nods his head. “Isn’t it perfect?”

“I—Harry, what? I thought you said something about a manufacturer and it not being ready. I thought you got him—you got him a cat? I can’t even have pets in our apartment.”

“I lied a little,” Harry says. “She wasn't old enough to take home yet so I had to come up with something and I knew you’d say no but she can stay here, and she can be his cat here. Like Cat is, even though he's here and he loves him and gets to see him. Is it okay?”

Zayn stares at Harry as he slowly nods his head.

“Baba, cat,” Niall shouts again as he tugs on Zayn’s arm. “No,” Niall says as he shakes his head fiercely. “No, cat.” There is a shift in Niall's face from happiness to sadness and neither Harry nor Zayn have any idea why.

“Niall, what’s wrong? Do you not like it?” Harry asks.

“No,” Niall says as he turns around and looks at the sleeping cat curled up on his bed. “That cat.”

“Niall,” Zayn starts but is cut off by the sound of Niall beginning to cry. He reaches out and pulls Niall into his chest and listens as Niall mouth let’s out choked sobs. There are fat tears rolling down his cheeks and his chest is heaving.

“No, cat,” Niall says in between broken noises. It’s several minutes before Niall finally stops crying and Zayn can see that Harry has physically deflated as he holds the kitten to his chest.

“Niall, what’s wrong with the cat that Harry has?” Zayn finally asks as he pulls Niall away from his body and looks him in the eyes. “Why did it make you cry?”

“Not cat,” Niall starts as he crawls out of Zayn’s lap and points towards the one on his bed. “That cat.”

Realization dawns on both Zayn and Harry as Niall keeps repeating that the kitten isn’t cat. Niall is upset because he knows that there can’t be two cat’s named Cat in one house, and that he has no other possible name for it.

“No, Niall, it’s okay,” Harry starts as he repositions his body around so he’s sitting next to Niall. He points towards the orange tabby on his bed, “We know that his name is Cat. And this one,” he says as he holds up the one in his arms, “we can call her—“

“Kitty,” Niall says as he rubs the tears off his cheeks.

“Yeah, we can call her Kitty,” Zayn says as he picks up Niall and sets him down on the bed next to the cat.

“Kitty and Cat,” Harry says as he passes the kitten over towards Niall.

Niall lets out a giggle when the kitten pounces in his lap. “Love Kitty,” Niall says as he spins her tail around in his hand.

Zayn hears Harry let out a sigh in relief that his gift wasn’t a major flop. Zayn reaches over and loops his little finger around Harry’s and smiles at him as he watches Harry’s face light up at seeing Niall play with the new kitten.


	31. Chapter 31

Zayn still has his finger looped with Harry’s when his phone begins ringing from his pocket. He unhooks his hand from Harry’s and reaches into his pocket for it.

“It’s Louis,” Zayn says with a groan. “He probably knows I’m not home.”

Harry gives him a sympathetic smile before turning his attention back towards Niall who keeps chanting his name as he tries to show him that how Kitty will chase his fingers.

Zayn takes a deep breath before pressing the accept button.

“Where are you?” Louis shouts into the phone and Zayn has to pull the receiver away from his ear due to the shrill volume of his friend’s voice.

“I’m not home right now, Lou,” Zayn says he motions to Harry that he’s going to take the call in another room.

Louis scoffs. “I would have thought me asking where you are would let you know that I know that. Ask me where I am. Ask me. Go ahead, I’m ready.”

“Where are you Lou?” Zayn asks with a hint of a smile.

“Oh thank you for asking. I’m currently sat in your living room with dear Liam, who might I add is worried sick about you and Niall.”

“Why are you in my living room?”

“I wanted to spend my night with my best friend and my godson and I come over and you don’t answer the door. You’re not answering the door so I thought oh well maybe they’re out and I used my key to let myself in. And I’ve been sat here for hours watching crap TV.”

“Why wouldn’t you just text me?”

“I texted Liam.”

“Yeah well that’s not me, is it?”

“You’ve been hiding your son from me, haven’t you?”

Zayn can hear the pout in Louis’ voice and he’s know that he’s going to try and guilt trip Zayn into telling him where he is. But Zayn won’t budge. Not on this. He wants to be alone with Harry and Niall. He really wants it.

“I’m not hiding him, Louis. You can see him in a few days.”

“A few days?” Zayn hears shuffling followed by, “Liam, did you hear him? A few days he says. No shut up don’t encourage him. Liam, don’t be daft.”

“Louis we’re out of town and I’m sorry you’re missing us but we won’t be back until after the weekend so you can leave my apartment.”

“You’re out of town? Liam, they’re out of town. Where are you?”

“Just out of town. My mother’s.”

“Oh really? I know you’re lying to me and I can confirm by—Liam give me your phone—calling her right now.”

“Jesus, we’re at Harry’s.” Zayn knew he would cave. He’s weak and Louis is too much for him sometimes. He knows that Louis would call his mother and then she’d worry about where he is and why he hasn’t told Louis. She’d call him or worse they’d three-way call him and badger him until he broke down screaming his location into the phone.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I just thought it would be best if it was just the three of us. There is just a lot of, ya know, stuff going on with us and after our talk I figured it was the best way to get our shit together. We really need to get our shit together.”

“Oh,” Louis says again and Zayn knows that he’ll get over it, but he can’t help but feel bad that he didn’t mention to Louis his plans.

“I’m sorry. I just…this is important. And I need to take care of this. It’s important that I take care of this.”

“It’s okay,” Louis mumbles. “I understand. I’m happy you’re finally figuring things out with Harry.”

“Me too. And you can take Niall all next weekend. How does that sound?”

“I cannot be bribed. And like hell I’m going to watch your son all weekend so you can have sex with Harry.”

“Yeah well,” Zayn mumbles.

“Besides you’d cave and show up for breakfast after one night and then wouldn’t leave.”

“You’re right. I would.”

“Exactly, and I don’t want to be stuck with you all weekend.” Louis sighs and Zayn knows he’s about to admit defeat. “I’ll take him for one night this weekend, but I’m coming over for dinner three times this week.”

“Alright, deal. But I have to go now. Harry’s hovering in the doorway and I’m sure poor Liam is lonely without you.”

“Give Harry a big sloppy kiss for me,” Louis shouts as Zayn hangs up the phone. He laughs as he pockets his phone and turns towards Harry. “So Louis knows we’re here.”

“You told him,” Harry says with a pout. “You said you weren’t going to tell him you were here.”

Zayn shrugs his shoulders. “He would have figured it out eventually. It’s Louis, and he’s sitting in my apartment waiting for me to get home. If I hadn’t come home soon he’d have called a search party, if not for me then definitely one for Niall. Besides,” Zayn says as he steps closer to Harry, close enough to loop his fingers through Harry’s belt loops. “He’s going to take Niall for a night next weekend.”

“And?” Harry asks, clearly confused.

Zayn rolls his eyes. “I won’t have Niall for a night. That means you can come to my apartment or I can come here, and it’ll be just the two of us.”

“Oh,” Harry says with a smirk. “Well I guess I can make time for you.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Zayn says as he leans up to kiss Harry quickly. “Come on, we have to put Niall to bed.”

~~

“Which pajamas do you want to wear, bub?”

Niall puts his finger on his mouth before he grabs a pair of pants and a shirt for Zayn to put him in.

“Okay,” Zayn says as he eyes the clothes he handed. “You want to wear the dinosaur pants with the Nemo shirt?”

“Yes,” Niall says as he holds his arms in the air for his shirt to get slipped on. Zayn leans forward and kisses him on the forehead.

“You’re a silly boy.”

“Baba’s boy,” Niall says very seriously.

“Always. Absolutely always.” Niall smiles in satisfaction as Zayn slips the shirt over his head and loops his arms into the arm holes before he helps Niall into the pants.

Zayn has Niall dressed in time for Harry to come walking into the room with all three of Niall’s stuffed animals in one hand. Cat comes running in behind him and curls up at the end of Niall’s bed. Niall giggles and pats the cat on the head before pulling himself up into the bed.

Harry hands the stuffed animals over to Niall and waits until he’s laid down before he leans down and says, “night, sweetie.” He kisses Niall on the forehead before he makes his way out of the room, his hand trailing across Zayn shoulders on his way out.

“Night, Harry.”

Zayn and Harry had talked about how Zayn would get Niall ready for bed, and he would be the one to read him a bedtime story or sing him a song if he needed to be calmed down. They didn’t want to throw off Niall by having Harry do these things. Niall had already expressed confusion on why he was sleeping in Harry’s house in his bed. And a part of Zayn is mad at himself for thinking about this arrangement because if they were at his apartment he’d have Niall tucked into his side as he rubbed his belly until he fell asleep. Zayn thinks tomorrow he’ll pout at Harry until he agrees that Niall can lie in bed with them.

Zayn pulls a book off the shelf and settles on the floor next to Niall’s bed and begins reading to him the Disney book version of Dumbo. Niall gasps every time Zayn reads about poor little Dumbo being picked on for his ears. Niall points to Cat when Zayn reads about Dumbo's mouse friend Timothy because he thinks Cat is his version of Timothy. And when the book is over Niall is blabbering about how much he loves Elephant and Mouse and how happy he is Elephant could fly, and Zayn wants to correct Niall’s change of name but then he remembers how upset Niall had gotten mid book that Zayn kept saying ‘Dumbo’ and ‘Timothy’.

He sets the book down on the nightstand and waits for Niall to lie down on his back. “You’re first night sleeping in your room at Harry’s house. Are you ready for this?” Zayn asks as he pulls the blankets up to Niall’s chin.

“Yes,” Niall says as he clutches his stuffed animals closer to his chest.

“Baba will be in Harry’s room, okay? I’ll be right down the hall, okay?”

He leans down and kisses Niall before he gets off of Niall’s bed. He flips on the night-light, and makes sure that the setting is high enough to keep Niall happy. “I love you, Ni bug.”

“Love, Baba,” Niall says as Zayn closes the door until Niall tells him to stop.

~~

“It’s just us now.”

“Shh,” Zayn says as he burrows his face into the pillow. “No talking.”

Harry giggles and tightens his hold on Zayn. “Zayn, it’s been hours since we’ve been alone. I want to talk to you.”

They’re lying in Harry’s bed (their bed?) and has his entire body wrapped around Zayn from behind. He’s nuzzling his face into Zayn’s neck and Zayn can feel his heart throbbing in his chest from how content he is. How content he was until Harry started yammering in his ear.

Zayn sighs and flips himself over so his face is inches from Harry’s. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I’ve been thinking about, you know, us.”

“What about us?”

“What’s going to happen when you guys leave here? Like, am I your boyfriend again, or still? We never talked about that. Is this going to happen a lot? Like, you and Niall sleeping here. Are we going to alternate places? I just keep thinking about everything. Like, what are we going to have for dinner tomorrow and what are we going to do about Niall’s love for the word ‘mine’ and his growing inability to share. Is that something we’d even work on together?”

“Harry,” Zayn says as he reaches up and rubs his fingers over the other boy’s lips. “Breathe. You’re talking so fast.”

Harry takes a few breaths and when Zayn is satisfied he leans forward and presses his lips against Harry’s. They kiss slow, and lazy for several minutes until Zayn resurfaces for air. “First of all, yes you’re my boyfriend. Or that’s what I want you to be, okay?” Harry nods. “When Niall and I leave it’ll just be to go home. We’re going home and you’re welcome to come or you’re welcome to stay here, but you always know where to find us. I don’t know if this will become a regular thing or not.” Zayn pauses to kiss the pout off Harry’s lips. “I mean that we should let this play out. I don’t want to rush anything and I just want us to take things slow and lets things happen as they happen.”

Harry nods. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just want this to work out so much and I try so hard, but you’re right let’s just let this take it’s own course.”

“Good. And besides, it’s not like Niall and I won’t come back. We’ll have to visit Cat and Kitty. I can't believe you got him a cat. Why didn’t you get him a dog so at least the names wouldn’t be the same.”

“Don’t change the subject,” Harry says he tickles Zayn’s sides lightly. “You’ll still stay here after the weekend, right?”

Zayn blinks up at Harry and smiles softly when he sees Harry chewing on his bottom lip. “Do you want us here?”

Harry leans forward and presses his lips against Zayn’s. He pulls back momentarily, his lips grazing Zayn’s as he says; “I want you here all the time.”

“Then, yeah we’ll be back to stay here when we can. I think Niall really likes being able to play with the cats and to have his own room and a giant yard. He likes it here. I like it here.”

Harry leans forward again so he can kiss Zayn, slow and sweet. They kiss lazily and Zayn runs his hands down Harry’s ribs and up his back and back down again because when they kiss he wants to feel as much as he can. He wants to know that Harry is there with more than just his mouth.

The minutes feel like hours and their kisses turn into short pecks until Zayn drags his mouth away from Harry’s and slips his head into the juncture of Harry’s shoulder.

Zayn hears Harry sigh with contentment, and an ‘I love you, Zayn’ before he drifts off to sleep.


	32. Chapter 32

“Baba, paint.”

Zayn glances up from his book and sees Niall standing in front of him, wearing no clothes, with his hand on his hip as he waits patiently for his father to answer him.

Harry had left for a couple hours to run to the studio and help them repair some broken equipment, which left Zayn and Niall alone in his house. While he was gone Zayn and Niall ate lunch together, and then afterwards Niall decided that he wanted to play with his stuffed animals in the living room. So while he sat in the middle of the room and danced the toys across the floor Zayn decided to raid Harry’s bookshelf for something interesting to read.

But Zayn doesn't remember when Niall stripped himself of his clothing.

He looks past Niall and down onto the floor in search of where Niall’s clothing has gone and sees them tossed in a messy heap, diaper included, in the middle of Harry’s living room.

“Why did you take your clothes off?” Zayn asks.

“Don’t want,” Niall explains. “Baba, paint.”

“You want to paint?”

Niall smiles as he nods his head. Zayn sighs as he closes his book and sets it down on Harry’s couch. He gets off the couch and digs around in the diaper bag that’s sitting on the coffee table as he tries to find Niall’s little sketchbook. When he’s got that he hands it over to Niall before pulling out the markers that he knows are also in the bag.

“We only have markers, buddy, so we can only draw today but when we go back home then we can use our easels and paint together.”

Niall pouts but kneels down on the floor and flips open his sketchbook to a blank page anyway.

“When home?” Niall asks as he uncaps a marker and begins making lines across the paper.

“Tomorrow.”

“Harry come?”

“No, Harry is going to stay here at his house, but I think Uncle Louis wants to spend some time with you. Maybe even Uncle Liam will come. It’s been a while since you’ve seen them.”

“Miss Uncle Lou,” Niall says as he changes out the marker in his hand for a new one.

“I have a sneaking suspicion that he misses you too, sweetie.”

~~

Niall finishes his drawing the same time that Harry gets back.

The sound of the door startles Niall into standing up and laying over his work that is laid out on the table. He covers it with his body and tells Harry and Zayn to stop looking.

“What are you doing, Ni?” Harry asks as he drops down on the couch next to Zayn. Zayn is lying down with Harry’s book pressed against his chest so Harry slides down and wedges himself between the back of the couch and Zayn’s body.

“Drawing, no look,” Niall says as he slides off the table and goes back to finishing up his picture.

Harry nods his head and shifts around so he can look up at Zayn. “Why is he naked?”

“We’re protesting clothing this afternoon.”

“Naked drawing,” Harry says as he nods his head and looks back down towards Niall. Zayn follows his gaze and sees that Niall is capping all the markers and putting them back in the box. He smoothes his paper out before he turns towards Zayn and Harry.

“Niall done.”

“Can we see?” Zayn asks.

Niall nods his head and stands up slowly. He picks up the paper and hides it behind his back as he turns to face Zayn and Harry.

“I draw,” he explains.

Harry and Zayn nod their heads in understanding.

Niall pulls out the drawing from behind his back and both Harry and Zayn let out gasps when they’re finally allowed to see the work. Niall smiles wider and pushes the paper forward so they can see it better. He’s holding it inches from their faces and Zayn can’t help but let out a laugh.

“Sweetheart we can see it just fine. Do you want to tell us what you drew?”

Niall points to the first circle with squiggles coming out of it that’s drawn in the red marker and says, “it Harry.” He points towards the smaller green circle and says, “Niall.” The blue one, “Baba.”

“You drew us?” Harry asks.

Niall bobs his head and starts pointing to the rest of the circles on the paper with different hair to indicate who they are. “Cat, Kitty, Uncle Lou, Uncle Liam, Monkey, Bear, and Lion.” The last three are shown by being sat under Niall as two lines (his arms) hold them together in a way that represents him holding the stuffed animals rather than being their own separate entities like everyone else.

Harry rolls off Zayn, and the couch and takes the picture from Niall. He’s staring down at it for a moment before he says, “Am I allowed to keep this?” He’s not looking at Zayn but rather at Niall, who nods his head. Harry takes the picture and makes his way towards the closet next to the front door. He digs around for a moment and then they see him standing still with his back turned to them as he fumbles around.

When he finally turns around he has the paper inside of picture frame. He looks around the room before he sets it down on the end table next to the couch. He adjusts the items on the table around and then smiles in satisfaction when he steps back to look at what he’s done.

“What you do?” Niall asks.

“I put it in a frame because you made it and it’s beautiful. I love everyone in the picture and I wanted to put it some place that I can see it everyday. Do you like it there?”

Niall shrugs his shoulders and says, “fridge better.”

~~

It’s later in the evening after dinner and Zayn is standing at Harry’s kitchen sink, washing the dishes from their meal when it hits him. It’s during the transition between putting the plate from the sink to the dishwasher when he glances out the window to check on Niall.

Harry had taken him outside to play until Zayn had finished the dishes, since Harry had cooked it was only fair, and then it would time for a bath and bed. He glances out the window and sees Harry and Niall running around the yard with a pale blue ball in between them.

They take turns kicking the ball around, Niall’s kicks barely going anywhere, and Harry pretending to not be able to kick that far either. Niall is giggling and he watches as Harry picks Niall up and spins him around before planting a kiss to his forehead. He sets Niall back down on the ground and then positions himself between two sticks they planted in the grass as Harry over acts missing a goal and letting Niall score.

It hits Zayn because this is everything that he’s ever wanted with Harry, and he’s watching it unfold in his boyfriend’s backyard while he scrubs dirty plates from inside the house. It hits Zayn because that’s his son running around the backyard laughing, and squealing as he kicks the same blue ball over and over again. He can hear them through the open window; he can hear the sounds of their laughter, and Harry’s encouragement and Niall’s instructions on how to make Harry better. He can hear them, and feel them even though he’s not with them.

And when it hits him he’s left with the unmistakable feeling of air being knocked out of his lungs, and he nearly drops the plate he’s holding because he doesn’t think he can breathe properly. His hands feel clammy, even under the flowing water, and his nerves feel like they’re on fire. His head is spinning and his joints feel tired and weak.

He shuts the sink off and closes up the dishwasher and makes his way out towards the backyard. He stands on the deck and watches the two for a moment, relishing in the sound of Niall’s laughter as it urges on everything that he’s feeling. He clasps his hands over his mouth and can feel the tears prickling from behind his eyes as they threaten to fall down his cheeks because he has no idea what’s going on.

And then it hits him.

He lets out a gasp and nearly doubles over at the realization that takes place inside his head. His gasp causes Harry and Niall to notice his presence. Niall merely shouts his name and tells him to watch what he can do as he kicks the ball a couple inches. Zayn smiles and nods his head in Niall’s direction because he doesn't trust himself to speak, not with Harry standing up straighter and looking at Zayn like he’s worried about him.

Harry tells Niall to hold on a minute and makes his way over towards Zayn; his eyebrows are furrowed as he rubs the sweat off his forehead. He climbs the short stairs until he’s standing in front of Zayn, a few short feet separating them.

“Are you okay?” Harry asks.

Zayn begins to nod his head but stops mid nod and begins adamantly shaking his head that no he’s not okay. Harry looks worried and Zayn can’t blame him, he probably looks like he’s about to throw up, and he honestly feels like he could.

“Zayn, what’s going on? Are you hurt?”

“I just—,” Zayn starts as he keeps shaking his head, “this wasn’t supposed to happen. Holy fucking shit this was not supposed to happen.”

“What wasn’t?”

“When I first met you in that bar I was annoyed with you, I was annoyed with life. I didn’t want to be out. I wanted to be at home with Niall. And then I took you home and forced you to leave. I kept getting annoyed with you and then taking you home and forcing you to leave again.”

“I’m sorry?” Harry says and he doesn’t know whether or not Zayn is looking for an apology so he stages it like a question.

“No, shut up,” Zayn says as he holds his hand in the air. “I need to get this out.”

Harry nods his head and Zayn takes a deep breath. “I didn’t want anyone in my life or Niall’s life that wasn’t already in it. I’m not good at meeting new people and letting them into my life. I never have been, and no one has ever wanted to be in my life. No one besides Louis, and I guess you could say Niall as well, but besides them there wasn’t anyone. I’ve learned to deal with that, and to accept it. And then you came around.

“You came around and you ruined everything that I had been working towards protecting; like my heart, and my son. You just wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I’ve tried so hard to fight against you and everything that being with you means for all the defensives that I’ve built up because no one wants or ever wanted to be with me.”

“I do,” Harry interrupts. “I want to be with you.”

“I know you do, and that’s…really fucking terrifying. I don’t know how to deal with something like that, and I’m sure you know that. I’m sure everyone knows that. I don’t know how accept the fact or even deal with the knowledge that someone besides Louis, Niall, and my mother, who doesn’t even know you exist, would want to be with me. But you put up with me, and you keep doing it, and at times I didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry that I was so incredibly stubborn and distrustful of you and your intentions. I’m sorry.”

“Zayn, I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“I don’t know how to deal with being wanted by someone besides to push and shove them away until it’s just me again. I didn’t want Niall to have to deal with people inserting themselves into his life and just leave. His own mother left him, but he doesn’t know that, and I don’t want him to know that someone he cares about left. And Niall really fucking cares about you. He really fucking cares about you, but he’s not the only one.

“So here it is,” Zayn says. He takes a deep breath and makes sure that Harry is looking at him when he says, ”I love you. I’m in love with you and I want to be with you for as long as I can, and probably longer.”

Harry is smiling at Zayn wider than he thinks he’s ever seen but he’s not saying anything and it’s nerve wrecking because Zayn feels like he just put his heart on an assembly line for slaughter so he adds, “and I’ve never spoken those words to anyone before. I’ve never loved anyone or been in love or had anyone love me. Not once, and I’m glad it’s you, and that you stuck around long enough to let me figure this out.”

And Harry continues smiling as he strides forward and wraps his arms around Zayn’s body, tight enough that he’s able to pick Zayn up and spin him around like he did earlier with Niall. Only this time when he goes in for a kiss he bypasses Zayn’s forehead and goes straight for his lips.

He kisses him slow, and sweet and Zayn can feel it coursing throughout his body and warming his insides. And it’s different from any other kiss that they’ve shared because now Zayn isn’t hiding behind a defense shield. Now Zayn is feeling it with his heart wide open as he lets Harry take over every crevice that he can.

Harry pulls away briefly. “I love you too,” he murmurs against Zayn’s lips before going back to kissing him.


	33. Chapter 33

Harry doesn’t let Zayn and Niall leave in a taxi like they arrived in. He insists that he wants to drive them, and he wants to be with them for as long as possible before they’re forced to separate. 

Zayn packs Niall’s bags after he drops his own off in the trunk of Harry’s car and tries to ignore the growing ache in his chest at having to leave their peaceful weekend behind. He grabs Niall’s clothes and stuffed animals and tossing them into his little bag while Harry collects the toys and books that Niall brought from Zayn’s apartment. 

There is a bittersweet taste to the air around them and both boys try and ignore the fact that neither of them wants the weekend to end. But it’s Sunday afternoon and Zayn has to bring Niall home so he can clean his clothes and get him ready for school the next day. Zayn can tell that Niall is catching on to his father and Harry’s downtrodden moods and so he makes sure to smile at Niall every time their gaze connects. 

He finishes packing the bags and is putting them in the trunk while Harry buckles Niall up in the car seat. They finish at the same time, signaled by the sound of two different doors being slammed shut, and Zayn watches as Harry drags his body over towards him. 

He wraps his arms around the taller boy and let’s Harry bury his face into his neck as he presses his body into the trunk of the car under his weight. He keeps one arm wrapped around Harry’s waist and brings the other one up to stroke his fingers through Harry’s curls. 

“I don’t want you guys to go home,” Harry mumbles into Zayn’s skin and Zayn lets out a deep sigh at the words. 

“I don’t think that you’re the only one feeling this way, but you know just as well as I do that we’ll see each other tomorrow; and the next day and the one after that. And you know as well as I do that you’re probably going to stay over for most of those days, aren’t you?”

“I’ll stay over every night,” Harry says as he pulls his face out of Zayn’s neck.

“I know you will,” Zayn replies and reaches up to kiss Harry lightly. 

Harry stares at him softly for a moment as he runs his knuckles along Zayn’s cheeks. Zayn feels a shiver roll up his spine. 

“Tell me,” Harry says. “Tell me again.”

Zayn smiles. “I love you.”

Harry nods his head with a smile and kisses Zayn once more. “Good. Good. I love you, too.” He pulls away from Zayn and makes his way towards the driver’s side of the car. Zayn follows suit and slides into the passenger seat.

The ride is silent with soft music drifting out through the speakers and Zayn looks out the window and watches as the world passes by until he feels Harry’s hand slip into his own and he turns his attention away from the rest of the world and focuses in on Harry and the sound of Niall’s quiet singing from the backseat. 

~~

Zayn and Niall are barely in their apartment for an hour before their front door comes flying open to reveal a smiling Louis. 

“Uncle Lou,” Niall shouts as he jumps off the couch. 

Zayn pauses the movie they were watching and watches as Niall jumps into Louis’ outstretched arms and peppers his face with kisses. Niall giggles and wraps his arms around Louis neck so he can pepper Louis’ face with kisses in return. 

“My baby,” Louis says as he adjusts Niall over onto his hip. He leaves the door open wide open and a few seconds later Liam walks in. He offers greetings and presses a kiss to Niall’s cheek before he goes to join Zayn on the couch. 

“Niall and I are going to his room and he’s going to tell me all about your weekend with Harry before I hear it from you. He doesn’t leave out the details,” Louis says as he carries Niall out of the room and down the hall towards his bedroom. 

Zayn can’t help but shake his head as he watches them walk away. He turns towards Liam and smiles softly. “I’m guessing you don’t want to finish Cinderella with me?”

Liam lets out a laugh and shakes his head. “I’m good. I’ll let you and Niall finish that later.”

Zayn nods his head and reaches out for the remote so he can turn the television off.

“How was it at Harry’s?” Liam asks. 

“It was really good,” Zayn replies. “We didn’t do much, and it wasn’t as exciting as you’re probably thinking it was, but I had fun. Niall had fun, and it was important for us to go there and I think our relationship needed it. I mean it was just the three of us for two and a half days.”

“So everything is back to being picture perfect between you two?”

“Things were never picture perfect, but I think we’re getting there.”

Liam nods his head and goes to talk but is interrupted by the sound of loud yelling that leaves Niall’s room. It’s not urgent and Niall doesn’t sound like he’s in danger because he lets out a loud laugh so Zayn leaves the two of them alone to play whatever game he’s going to have to clean up later. 

“How are things with you and Louis?”

Zayn doesn’t miss the way that Liam’s shoulders tense and his eyebrows furrow. “We’re kind of going through a thing right now,” Liam admits. “We’ve been fighting a lot, and Louis can get so angry, and I don’t know how to deal with it and we just say a lot of things that we don’t mean.”

“Wait, you’re fighting?”

Liam nods his head but doesn’t offer any other information. 

“Li?”

Liam doesn’t get the chance to answer because Niall and Louis come barreling out from down the hallway and back into the living room. Niall jumps onto Zayn’s lap and picks up the remote and shoves it into his father’s hands. 

Zayn restarts Cinderella and tries not to worry about his best friend and his relationship because he watches as Louis eyes Liam carefully before dropping down onto the chair instead of Liam’s lap. And he doesn’t miss the way that Liam’s face scrunches up as he watches Louis instead of the movie. 

~~ 

“So I hear you and Harry spent the weekend getting all domestic and shit,” Louis says as he cuts the tomatoes. 

“What did Niall tell you?”

“He said that you colored, drew pictures, went swimming, and took naps together. He also mentioned lots of kissing and cuddling.”

“That’s more or less what happened.”

“More of the last two and less of the rest of them,” Louis says as he waggles his eyebrows at Zayn. “Do you want to tell me your side of what happened? Or should I tell you how Niall phrased it but use my big boy words?”

Zayn stirs the noodles and cocks his head to the side as he tries to think of what Louis might be talking about. He continues stirring and waits for Louis to speak. 

“Niall mentioned a lot of kissing and a lot of the word ‘love’.”

“Oh,” Zayn says as he drops the spoon in the boiling pot and turns around to help Louis cut vegetables. “I finally said it back.”

“You love Harry?”

“Yeah,” Zayn says and he sounds breathless as he tries to keep from turning this into a mushy conversation about love and feelings. He knows that Louis doesn’t need to know the details because he knows Zayn and he knows how Zayn feels by just looking at him. He doesn’t need to have Zayn to lay it out for him in gushing words and declarations of adoration. 

“I’m really happy for you. I’m still mad at Harry for walking out, but he’s perfect for you, and Niall. You deserve this.”

“And you deserve Liam,” Zayn responds. Louis nearly drops the knife in his hand from the shock of Zayn’s words. “We talked before you and Niall came running out. Now do you want to tell me what happened because Liam seemed pretty terrified to clue me in?”

“It’s not going good,” Louis admits as he chews on his bottom lip. “We’ve been fighting a lot and most of the time I don’t even know why. We just start yelling about things and sometimes afterwards we don’t talk to each other for a couple hours until one of us finds the other one in the bedroom and we just sort of pretend nothing ever happened. It’s all getting swept under the rug until the next screaming match happens and then we’re bringing it all back up again.”

“What do you fight about?”

“Everything,” Louis gushes. “If we’re watching TV and can’t decide on a channel we just start yelling. I feel like we’re not telling each other something and I get so defensive and mean towards him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want Liam to leave.”

“He’s not going to leave,” Zayn reassures. 

“How do you know?”

“I don’t but I think that if anyone in the entire world loves someone at all then it’s Liam and you. I think you just need to talk about it. Liam isn’t very good at using his words at least not out loud.”

Louis nods his head and goes back to cutting the vegetables. They don’t talk about it anymore throughout the remainder of the evening but Zayn notices that Louis is making more of an effort to be near Liam. He sits next to him at dinner and clutches Liam’s knee under the table. And afterwards when they sit down in the living room he sits next to Liam again and rests his head on his shoulder. 

And Zayn doesn’t miss the way that Liam’s body has dropped down in relief at the contact. 

~~ 

Zayn rushes to get Niall ready for bed that evening. He gives him a bath and lets Niall read him a story off the bookshelf before he’s flicking on the night-light and hitting play on the small radio in the corner to play him quiet classical music so he can retreat into his bedroom. 

He gets dressed in his pajamas and drops down under the blankets and dials Harry’s number on his phone. He presses it to his ear and listens as it rings several times before he hears Harry’s voice drifting into his ear, “hello.”

“Hi,” Zayn breathes out. “What are you doing?”

“Well Cat, Kitty and I are lying in bed.”

“Me too,” Zayn mumbles. “I put Niall in his bedroom. I already miss him.”

“So do I.”

“I miss you.”

“Yeah,” Harry says and Zayn can hear him shuffling around. “I miss you too. It’s really quiet here now. It’s never bothered me before but I keep stopping and panicking and then running towards Niall’s room to see why he’s being so quiet but he’s not here.” 

Zayn lets out a light laugh at Harry’s revelation. 

“I think even the cats are looking for Niall. I’m not sure Cat knows what to do with himself now that someone isn’t tugging on his tail and folding his ears. Zayn, my cat misses your son.”

“During Niall’s bath he said he missed his best friend. At first I thought he meant you and then I realized he was talking about Cat.” Zayn hears more shuffling followed by a jingle. “What are you doing?”

“Um,” Harry says with a pause. “How put off would you be if I said that I just got dressed and grabbed my keys and now I’m walking down the stairs so I can get in my car and come over towards your house?”

Zayn smiles and feels his chest throb. “I don’t think I’d be put off.”

“Okay good because I’m sitting in my car right now and I don’t think I can face rejection right now.”

“How fast do you think you can make it here?” Zayn asks and listens as Harry lets out a loud laugh with the sound of the car engine revving up in the background.


	34. Chapter 34

Zayn wakes up to the feeling of Harry pressed against his back with his breath tickling Zayn's neck as something tugs incessantly on his arm, or rather someone. He opens his eyes and blinks as he tries to see through the dark. As his eyes adjust he sees Niall standing on the side of the bed as he tugs his arm.

“Ni?” Zayn says as he tries to sit up without disturbing Harry. 

“Baba,” Niall says in a whine. 

Zayn reaches over the side of the bed and pulls Niall up onto the small section of mattress next to the edge. He waits as Niall settles into the bed before pulling the blankets up over him and wrapping his arms around the small boy. 

“Did you have a bad dream?” Zayn asks as Niall rolls over and tucks his face into Zayn’s chest. 

“No,” Niall mumbles as he runs his finger along Zayn’s neck. “Miss, Baba.”

Zayn feels Harry shift behind him followed by a quiet groan. “What’s the matter,” Harry rasps out. 

“Harry?”

“Yeah, baby, Harry came over to sleep. And nothing, Harry, Niall didn’t want to sleep alone. He’s okay. Go back to sleep.”

Harry mumbles incoherently for several seconds before Zayn hears the sound of soft snores drifting through the air. 

“Harry?” Niall says again. 

“Shh, shh, he’s sleeping.”

Zayn grabs a firm grip on Niall and shimmies around in Harry’s hold so that he can roll over and settle Niall down in between them with his back to Harry and arms wrapped around Zayn with his head buried in his father’s chest. 

“Do you feel better, baby?”

Niall nods against Zayn’s chest. Zayn reaches around him and trails his fingers along Niall’s spine as he hums sleepily to try and soothe Niall off to sleep. He hears a moan from Harry before he feels his arm reach around Niall and wrap itself around Zayn.

Eventually Niall falls asleep and Zayn finds himself slowly joining him as he listens to the sound of Niall and Harry’s breathing. 

~~

“What are we doing?” Harry asks. 

“Ride bike,” Niall says.

Zayn motions for Harry to pick up Niall’s bicycle while he picks up Niall up and carries him down the stairs outside their apartment building. Harry grabs the bike and follows obediently. 

Zayn continues carrying Niall until they make it to empty parking lot of the closed down restaurant next to their building. He wants to make sure that they’re going to be a place where cars can’t come because if Niall is going to ride the bike he got for his birthday then he’s going to make sure nothing can happen to him while he’s on it. 

He sets Niall down on the ground and takes the helmet from out of Niall’s hand and places it on his head. “You’re not riding your bike without this, ever. Do you understand?”

Niall nods his head as Zayn buckles the clip. 

“Is that necessary?” Harry asks as he sets the bike down on the pavement. “I mean it’s not even really a bicycle since there are three wheels and it has this little handle in the back incase you want to push him. I don’t think he’ll even be going that fast.”

“Harry,” Zayn says. “He needs to learn safety. What if it tips over and he hits his head on the ground and then he has another seizure and then I’m stuck sitting in the hospital again with Louis yelling at nurses while Liam pressures them to teach him CPR? What if I’m stuck dealing with that again? I won’t do it again. So yes this helmet is being worn.”

“Alright,” Harry says as he holds his hands in the air. “You’re right.”

“He’s lucky that he’s riding it at all since I can’t find his elbow and knee pads. But his little head is more important than his knees,” Zayn says as he Niall smiles up at him. “Oh my god what if he falls and breaks his arm?”

“Hey, hey,” Harry starts as he puts his hand on Zayn’s back. “Breathe.”

Zayn nods his head and tries the whole breathing thing that Harry has mentioned. 

“Okay,” Zayn says as he reaches out and grabs Niall. He picks him up and places him on the seat of the bike. He grabs his feet and places them on both the pedals. “Push your feet, okay? One at a time.” 

Niall nods and slowly works out what to do with his body before the bike starts moving and he’s riding in circles around Zayn and Harry. 

Zayn tries to keep the pout off his lips but he knows it’s showing when Harry steps over and pulls Zayn into him. Harry presses a soft kiss to Zayn’s forehead as they watch Niall ride his bike. 

And Zayn watches Niall and tries not to think about a time in the future where Niall will have a real bicycle and how he’ll have friends to ride off with. Or a car where he’ll be gone for hours and Zayn won’t know where he is. Zayn tries not to think about Niall growing up and leaving him. 

~~ 

Zayn answers his phone on the third ring as he rushes across his apartment to try and keep the sound from waking Niall. 

“Hello?”

Zayn hears a sigh and then, “can Niall spend the night tonight? Please. I don’t want to wait two more days.”

“Louis?”

“Yeah. I just need someone here with me that’s not Liam. “

“Still fighting?”

Louis lets out a deep breath. “Something like that. We’re okay right now. I just—if we’re going to be staying inside tonight then I think maybe Niall being here will be a breath of fresh air. So can he come?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. He’s sleeping right now. He was riding his bike out front and it kind of wore him out.”

“He’s learned how to ride his bike? And I missed it?” Louis says with a pout. 

“You can take his bike to your house and he can show you how great he is at riding it. Come over in an hour and he should be awake, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, see you,” Louis says before Zayn hears the dial tone in his ear. 

Zayn feels arms snake around his waist before he feels Harry’s body pressed against his back. 

“Everything okay?” Harry says as he rests his head against Zayn’s shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Zayn breathes out as he slumps his body against Harry’s.

“Okay good because Niall is sleeping and I really think we should utilize this time wisely and I don’t know about you but I’m dying for a cuddle.”

“We cuddled this morning,” Zayn says teasingly. 

Harry hums and begins walking Zayn backwards towards his bedroom. “Touché. How about this, I’m dying for a cuddle that doesn’t even involve a toddler so that I can touch you. I’m dying for a cuddle and I definitely think that we should be kissing right now.”

“Do you now? Because I think that I should start laundry and possibly begin packing Niall’s bag since he’s going to Louis and Liam’s for the night.”

“Is he now?” Harry says as he turns the corner into Zayn’s room.

“Yeah and that means we can have all night to cuddle and kiss and touch.”

Harry spins Zayn around and nods thoughtfully. “All very good points but we’re here now and I don’t want to insult your bed by leaving so I really think we should stop talking and begin kissing.”

Harry makes his point by grabbing Zayn’s collar and tugging him forward before he pushes him down on the bed. Zayn lands with a thud and lets out a laugh and he watches Harry crawl up the bed and straddle his waist. 

“No laughing only kissing,” Harry says as he bends down and connects his lips to Zayn’s. Zayn laughs against Harry’s lip but the sound is swallowed up because as soon as he opens his mouth Harry dives his tongue inside. The laughter is swallowed up as a moan escapes Zayn’s mouth. 

~~

Zayn shoves Niall’s blanket into his small book bag before he zips it closed and helps put it on Niall’s back. He kisses Niall and watches as Niall runs out of the room. He stands up slowly and follows Niall out of the room. 

Zayn watches from Niall’s bedroom doorway, as he feels Harry’s slip inside of his own, he watches as Niall readjusts the bag on his shoulder and toddles down the hallway towards where Louis and Liam are waiting for him in the living room. 

“Bye, Baba,” Niall calls out as he turns around to blow a kiss before continuing his walking. 

Zayn drops his head down on Harry’s shoulder. “Bye, sweetheart. Have fun with Uncle Louis and Uncle Liam. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bye, Daddy,” Niall calls as he turns the corner. 

Zayn’s mouth drops open at Niall’s words and he feels Harry’s grip tighten on his hand. The air is cold around them and Zayn feels himself squeezing Harry’s hand to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. 

Harry is staring down the hallway with his lips parted slightly. He shakes his head and shrugs out of Zayn’s grasp so he can make his way down the hallway. 

This time when he runs off Zayn follows steadily behind him. He comes to a halt when he reaches the edge of the living room and sees Harry crouched down on the floor in front of Niall. He’s readjusting the strap on Niall’s bag so it fits properly on his shoulders. 

Niall smiles up at him and thanks him but before he can turn around Harry has pulled him into a hug and Zayn can hear him speaking quietly into Niall’s ear. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I’ll be here when you get back. I’ll be right here.”

Niall nods against Harry’s shoulder and continues to let the older man hug him. 

Harry lets out a shaky breath and pulls away from Niall. He readjusts the little boys hair and says, “I love you, Niall.”

Zayn lets out a deep breath at the relief that floods his body when he sees that Harry isn’t going anywhere. Harry isn’t going to leave this time. 

Niall smiles up at Harry and turns around to follow Liam and Louis out of the apartment. Zayn hears the soft click of the door closing but stays rooted to his spot and watches Harry closely. He still crouched down on the ground and Zayn can see that his chest is rising and falling as he takes deep breaths. 

Zayn feels like he’s waiting for him to break and run out of the apartment. He feels like he’s waiting for a crack in Harry’s armor. He’s worried that Harry is going to look up with a frantic expression and bolt out the door.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Harry says as if he can hear the thoughts of doubt circulating around Zayn’s head. “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

Harry lifts his head up from out from between his knees and nods. “I’m not leaving. I wasn’t lying to Niall when I said that I would be right here when he gets back.”

“No,” Zayn says as he takes a step closer to Harry. “Are you sure that you’re okay?”

“Niall’s going to say it whether I’m okay or not and I don’t want the word leaving a bad taste in his mouth. I don’t want him to never not say it again.”

“Niall’s not here and he’s two. He moves on very quickly and doesn’t let things upset him too much but are you okay?”

Harry nods his head and shifts his body around so he can finally look at Zayn. “I don’t know. I’ve been waiting and praying for him to say it again because I didn’t want him to be so upset from last time that he never called me anything but Harry again. I kept having this reoccurring thought that maybe Daddy is such an awful thing that he’d start calling me Mommy or something.” 

Zayn snorts out a laugh and kneels down on the floor in front of Harry. 

“I’m serious I was so worried that I’ve been thinking about this for days, weeks probably, and then he said it and you’re really not prepared for it. It feels weird like I just feel this fluttering in my chest.”

“Bad weird?” Zayn asks. 

“No,” Harry says as he shakes his head. “It’s not bad. It’s not bad at all.”

“So you’re going to stay?”

Harry lets out a light laugh and reaches out to trail his fingertips along Zayn’s thighs. “Not going anywhere, but it feels weird because this time Niall left. He called me Daddy and then he ran out the door. Hardly seems fair.” 

“Only Niall is going to come back.”

“I came back,” Harry says as he grabs Zayn’s hand. “I’ll always come back.”


	35. Chapter 35

It takes a few deep breaths and firm hand squeezes from Zayn for Harry to shake whatever thoughts are circulating in his mind. He’s still crouched down on the ground next to Zayn in the same position he was when Niall left.

“Are you good?” Zayn asks.

Harry takes a deep breath and nods his head. “I am,” he says as he turns to look at Zayn again. There is a mischievous glint to his eyes and Zayn doesn’t have time to question it because Harry is jumping up and wrapping his arms around Zayn’s waist.

“What the—“ Zayn starts as he feels Harry get a tight grip around him before he’s being lifted off the ground and tossed over Harry’s shoulder. Harry shifts him around until he’s griping onto Zayn’s thighs and starts walking.

“What are you doing?” Zayn asks as he grips onto the bottom of Harry’s shirt so he can lift his head up and see himself being carried down the hallway.

“I’m carrying you.”

“That’s obvious but why are you carrying me? I can walk.”

Harry pats Zayn’s thigh and readjusts him on his shoulder as he turns into Zayn’s bedroom.

“We won’t be alone for at least a week, and I’m going to take advantage of it,” Harry retorts as he tosses Zayn onto the bed.

Zayn barks out a laugh as he watches Harry struggle to take his socks off, falling over and bracing himself against the mattress as he tugs at them. He gets them off and quickly rips off his shirt and crawls up the bed so he’s hovering over Zayn.

“We won’t be alone for ages and Niall isn’t here and there aren’t cats running around so we’re using it to our advantage.” Harry finishes his sentence and tugs at the hem of Zayn’s shirt until Zayn relents with an eye roll and tosses it off his body and onto the ground. “Yes, yes, yes,” Harry mutters as he eyes scan across Zayn’s body before he leans down and presses his mouth against Zayn’s.

Zayn leans up into it and brings his hands up so he can hold onto Harry’s jaw as their mouths move together.

Zayn pulls away when his head starts to cloud and his lungs start to tighten with the need to breath. Harry lets out a whine as he tries to chase Zayn’s mouth so they can continue kissing.

“We’re alone and you want to make out shirtless?” Zayn asks with a breathless laugh.

“Oh, no,” Harry replies with a devilish smirk. He reaches out and begins working at the button of Zayn’s jeans. “I want to do naked things, lots of naked of things. Naked kissing, naked touching, naked everything.” He unzips the fly of his pants and tugs them down until they’re completely off and he throws them over his head and onto the floor. Harry scurries off the bed so he can work at the button and zip of his own jeans. He drops them down to his ankles and begins kicking his legs to try and work them off his ankles without bending over. He succeeds and then jumps back on the bed and reassumes his position of hovering over Zayn with his thighs braced on the each side of Zayn’s body.

“Now,” Harry starts as he hooks his thumbs in the waistband of Zayn’s boxers. “We’re going to need this to go. Too much fabric.”

Zayn snorts out a laugh but stops abruptly when Harry’s mouth is back on his. He freezes at the shock of it but allows himself to melt into the kiss and let Harry pull his underwear off his body. He sits up and chases Harry’s mouth as Harry begins working off his own boxers with excelled ease before he shimmies back to straddle Zayn’s lap as he licks at the seam of Zayn’s mouth.

Zayn fights back a groan at the feeling of Harry’s tongue in his mouth, no matter how many times it’s been there he’ll never get tired of the chill that runs down his spine and across his skin when Harry grips tighter to the hair at the base of his neck. Or when Harry breaks off to suck at the sensitive skin of Zayn’s neck and his body shakes with need. Or how fast his heart races at the feeling of Harry’s skin on his. Or the way his stomach flutters when Harry lets out breathy giggles at the noises that Zayn makes.

Zayn doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of Harry.

~~

It’s hours later and they’re still in bed with the sheets wrapped loosely around their waists, leaving their bare chests exposed. Harry’s face is shoved into the pillow as his curls fan out over his face and onto the pillow. He’s on his stomach and he has arm thrown out over Zayn’s waist while he sleeps.

Zayn reaches out and runs his finger along the bristly fuzz of hair that lines Harry’s jaw as he watches the rise and fall of Harry’s chest. He traces patterns from Harry’s neck and down his neck until he drags them along Harry’s spine.

The house is quiet around them and Zayn is almost inclined to wake Harry up and have him break the silence of the apartment with the sound of his groggy, sleep-ridden voice. But he refrains because the sight of Harry asleep is beautiful.

Harry is beautiful.

Zayn dances his fingers back up Harry’s spine and up towards his neck and he recalls all the things they’ve been through together in the months that they’ve known each other, and he can’t help but feel a radiating warmth towards the boy lying beside him at the fact that Harry has stayed.

Despite everything Harry is still here.

Despite everything Zayn is still here.

He sighs and leans forward to press a kiss to Harry’s shoulder before he tucks himself into Harry’s side and drifts back off to sleep.

~~

“Baba!”

Zayn nearly drops the plate he’s holding at the sound of Niall’s voice breaking the silence of the apartment. He sets it down on the counter and steps into the living room and sees Niall standing with Liam and Louis behind him as he holds his arms out wide.

“Hi, Baba,” Niall says as he throws his bag on the floor and drops down so he can tug off the shoes on his feet. He struggles with a pout as he holds his foot in the air for someone to help him.

Louis bends down and helps Niall out of his shoes while Liam bends down to pick up Niall’s stuff that he tossed around the entrance when he entered the house. Liam brushes past Zayn with Niall’s belongings and Zayn sees him making his way down the hallway probably towards Niall’s room to put his stuff away.

As soon as Niall’s shoes are off he gets up and runs across the room so he can cling onto Zayn’s leg with a firm grip. “Miss Baba,” Niall mumbles into the material of Zayn’s jeans.

Zayn bends down and pulls his son up so he can hug him properly. “I missed you, too. Did you have fun?”

Niall nods his head against Zayn’s neck but doesn’t make any further movements.

“Did Harry go home?”

Zayn looks over and sees Louis dropping Niall’s shoes into the closet.

“He’s in the shower,” Zayn replies. “He stayed the night.”

“Oh,” Louis says with a hint of a smirk. “I forgot we were at that stage in the relationship.”

“Oh, shut up. How were things at your place? Everyone get along?”

“We got along just fine,” Louis replies. “Most of the time,” He adds as an after thought. “Anyway we went to the park and played on the swings. Then came home, and what did we have Niall?”

“Food,” Niall shouts with his fist in the air.

Louis smiles fondly. “Yes but more specifically Liam made spaghetti and then later we had a cupcake because he begged and when Liam wasn’t looking we ate it didn’t we?”

Niall nods.

“Sounds like you three had fun,” Zayn say as both Louis and Niall nod their heads. “How was it between you know, you and Liam?”

“We’re okay,” Louis says. “Niall was the burst of sunlight we needed.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’m going to head home. Are you staying, Lou?”

Zayn turns to see Liam standing in the doorway with his hands pressed deep inside his pockets

“Oh, no. No. I’m coming home with you,” Louis says. He steps forward and kisses Niall on the cheek and hugs both Zayn and Niall and waits for Liam to do the same before he slips out of the apartment with a wave.

Zayn waits until the door is closed before he turns to Niall. “Did they behave themselves?”

“No,” Niall says as he shakes his head. “Yell lots.”

“They yelled at you?” Zayn asks and he tries not to let his blood boil before Niall explains what he meant.

“Not Niall.”

“Oh, they yelled at each other?” Niall nods his head and reaches up so he can twirl Zayn’s hair around in his fingers. “What did you do when they yelled?”

“Niall say no. I say stop,” Niall explains.

“Did they listen?”

“Yes. I say no,” Niall says in a matter of fact tone that implies people should do as he says and that no one would ever ignore him when he tells them no.

“Well,” Zayn says as he carries Niall into the kitchen. “I’m glad you were there to keep them in line.”

Zayn sets Niall down on the counter next to the sink and goes back to doing the dishes as he listens to Niall rattle off some more about what happened while he was at Liam and Louis’ house. He makes sure to nod his head along and ask questions at all the appropriate times but really Niall is telling Zayn all about the cupcake that he had and how he and Louis had to hide behind the kitchen table so Liam wouldn’t find them while they ate it.

“Daddy,” Niall shouts as he tries to slide off the counter. Zayn drops the plate and grabs onto Niall with soapy hands to stop him.

“Don’t ever try to get off the counter without help,” Zayn scolds. “You could get hurt.”

“Sorry,” Niall says as he retreats in on himself momentarily before he remembers what got him excited in the first place. He holds his arms out in the air for Harry who steps forward and pulls him off the counter.

“How’s my Niall?” Harry asks as he hugs Niall closer and leans back against the counter next to Zayn.

“Hungry,” Niall explains. “Uncle Lou and Liam not food.”

“They didn’t feed you? Well good thing Baba was just about to start dinner.”

“Was I?” Zayn replies as he goes back to the final dish in the sink. “I don’t remember that. I think Harry should order a pizza, right Niall?”

“Daddy,” Niall corrects.

Harry beams at Niall’s words and looks at Zayn and wiggles his eyebrows while he waits for Zayn to correct his sentence.

“Okay, fine. Daddy should order a pizza.”

~~

They’re sitting on the couch after dinner and while they’re supposed to be watching a movie Zayn hasn't been able to take his eyes off Harry.

Niall ditched them on the couch in order to stand in the middle of the living room and watch the movie undisturbed, and so he’s free to dance as much as he wants when the crab starts singing.

Zayn feels overwhelmed as he watches Harry and he thinks about everything that they’ve been through. As he thinks about everything that lead them up to this point in their relationship, sitting on his couch, holding hands and watching movies with his son.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Zayn says as he looks at Harry.

Harry turns his attention away from the television and looks at Zayn. “I mean Little Mermaid isn’t my favorite, but Niall’s here and he seemed to really want it on so it’ll do.”

“No, no,” Zayn says with a laugh. “I mean this.” He holds his arms out and points around the room towards the empty bucket of toys shoved in the corner, to the sippy cups and stuffed animals sitting on the table, to the bag of diapers sitting on the chair across the room. He points towards the children’s drawings pinned up on the walls, the fake kitchen set pressed up against the wall from when Niall tried serving them plastic sandwiches before the movie started. And finally towards the toddler bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waves his arms in the air to the music. “Are you sure you want this?”

Zayn watches Harry’s reaction as he looks at Niall for a beat, who is rocking his hips from side to side as he tries to sing along to the words of the song drifting out through the TV’s speakers, before he turns back to Zayn. “Yeah.”

Zayn lets out a deep breath and drops his head down on Harry’s shoulder to anchor himself. He feels his stomach fluttering like he’s light enough to float away at one simple word.

“I want this. More than anything,” Harry says.

Zayn doesn’t need to look at him because he can feel the smile in Harry’s words and can feel the smile rolling off his body and burrowing under Zayn’s skin.

“I meant what I said yesterday when I said that I wasn’t going anywhere. I want this. I want you and I want Niall, in different ways, but all the same. Besides,” Harry says and he shrugs his shoulder so Zayn will look up at him to see his smug grin. “I’m Daddy now.”

“Daddy doesn’t mean you have to stay.”

“Hey, no,” Harry says as he shifts his position so he can look at Zayn better. “Absolutely not are we starting that again, okay?”

Zayn nods his head. “Sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just scary, isn’t it? I’ve never really been in a relationship, at least not one that was serious, and now you’re Daddy.”

Harry takes a deep breath. “I am absolutely terrified. I’m scared of you and I’m scared of Niall. I’m scared you’re going to freak out on me and make me chase you down again, but I’d do it, in a heartbeat. I’d chase after you if I have too, you know? I’m scared of what being ‘Daddy’ to Niall means. But I’m not going to walk away from that. I fucked up and ran off once and I will not let myself do that again. I’m terrified but in the most exhilarating way. I want this and I’m not going to let fear stop me.”

Zayn studies Harry carefully as he lets the words sink into his skin and wrap themselves around his heart and absorb themselves into his brain so he can’t forget them. He’s scared as well but he wants this with Harry more than he wants anything. So instead of ruining things for himself again because of that fear he’s going to let things play out how they’re meant too. He’s going to stay for Harry, and for Niall. He’s not going to let things get ruined.

“You’re out of your mind. Did you know that?” Zayn replies with a smile. “Simply crazy.”

“I might be but you love me, right?”

“Right.”

Harry reaches out and cups Zayn’s jaw. “Tell me again.”

“I love you.”

“Perfect. Fucking perfect,” Harry says as he leans in to kiss Zayn. He pulls away after a second to say, “And I love you, too.” Before he leans in once more to connect his lips to Zayn’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, this is the end :( It's been a long journey and thank you to everyone who stuck with me. 
> 
> This work is part of a series, so if you're interested in check that out you can read the prequel about Zayn and Louis growing up [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971808), it's called Our Story. 
> 
> And of course, you can check out the sequel [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/993634/chapters/1964768), Stay With Me.
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](http://www.alnimawrites.tumblr.com) if you want to yell at me about this or anything :).


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